Leaving The yard

I am very concerned,I have a three year old boy that is not afraid of anything and my biggest concern is that he takes off out of the yard and down the road a lot. I am a single mother and I am left at home the majority of the time with lil help when I am cleaning the house and such to keep my eye on him at the same time. And doing the typical thing it seems he waits til I am not looking to book it on me out the door, I have child proof handle things on the doors so he can't turn those but the sliding glass door and the back door I have nothing to fox on them. I don't want to have to lock my child in door all the time but I am at a lost to how to teach him to stay in the yard. I am not allowed to build a fence and so I am looking for a place that has one that may help but, knowing him he will just climb that too. And I am soo scared soemthing is going to happen if I keep failing to keep him in the yard. I have already had social services on me for it. But they didn't give me much advice as to help me teach him the importance of not wandering off. I am afraid if I can't they will take my baby away.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children of this age are creatures of impulse and require constant supervision. There is really no way around this. It's not realistic to expect that a three-year-old can be told to remain in the yard and, without supervision, to be relied on to do so. As your son gets older, he will be more capable of adhering to such instructions. To be a single parent of a young child is not an easy thing. But the onus is on you, as it is on all parents, to keep track of your son's whereabouts. It is never a good idea to have a child of this age outside alone, fenced in or not. It doesn't make sense for you to be seeking solutions for how you can be away from your child and expect him to do what you said. He needs your presence. He should not be outside unless you can be there with him. Ask for help about securing the sliding door and the back door as well.

[Christie2004]

I hear your frustration.  But it is your responsibility to know exactly where he is every second of the day.  Things can happen in an instant.  As was stated, he is too young to control his impulses right now.

Make a game of him "helping" you clean.  Have an area where he must color or play with his toys within your sight while you cook, so you know where he is then, too.  Surely your doors lock--if not or he can open them, get someone to install a lock way up high where he can't reach.  

You must do this.  It comes with having a child, this 24/7 responsibility.  Good luck to you.

[lmroswell]

It only takes a second for a tragedy to occur, so it is every parents responsibility to keep a close eye on their children. They need us to protect them.  At his age, you can't teach him to stay in the yard, his curiosity will always get the best of him.  When our girls were young, the house cleaning did not get done as it had been done in the past.  I was too busy with them.  I cleaned at night, and that was not easy, because of being tired.  Lots of things did not get done.  Don't let yourself feel guilty for not doing things as they were done in the past.  It gets easier as they get older, but that doesn't mean they still don't need supervision.  It just seems to get easier.

[Christie2004]

...and then they get to be teenagers, and you have to look after them every second again!

[lmroswell]

Ahh, yes, the next phase...

[pookie1963]

This may help.  I have 5 children ages 20, 17,17,17 and 16.  As you can imagine keeping up with them when they were little was a full time job all on its own.  First I never even tried to clean when they were awake - at 3 yourson is probably still taking naps, do your cleaning then.  When I cooked, they "helped"  I cleared out one bottom cupboard and filled it with just plastic things - that was theirs to get into - so they wouldhave a blast sitting on the floor in the kitchen playing with the stuff.  The key is though to not let him get into that cupboard any other time, just when your in the kitchen and need him to be where you can see him.  As for the not staying in the yard.  Its way to dangerous for a 3 year old to be outside alone.  Even with a fenced in yard.  When he is older and can play outside y himself, watch him from the window - every time he leaves the yard - go out and bring him in the house - each and every time...and tell him each and every time - when you leave the yard. I will make you stay in the house for the rest of the day.  And stick to it - sometimes its hard, cause we Moms need a break too - but it will work.  My Son was a stinker to - but he eventually got the picture.