Listening and Social Skills

[RO]

I have a five year old son, and recently attended a scheduled parent conference meeting with his teacher. Academically, my son is one of the high achievers in his class, and is in the top eight for kindergarteners that are beginning to read.  This is a blessing and a curse.  Because he catches on quickly and finishes his work, he is easily distracted, and disturbs the other students while their are trying to complete their tasks.  The teacher has to sit with him to make sure he follows through with his work, and she also gives him time out.  What can I do to change his behavior in the class, and what can I suggest to her to help change his behavior.  She has tried giving him extra tasks, but he completes them quickly, and wants her undivided attention.  I have disciplined him here at home, and taken away his free time and play time.  He's still having his "yellow face days." What do you suggest?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ro,

You are clearly trying to support the school in its expectations for your son - this is very important.

On the behavior management front, establishing an incentive system in which he is rewarded for successful classroom performance will help. Part of such a system should be some consequence for failure to behave appropriately, but don't let all the eggs remain in the basket of punishment.

Probably the key ingredient will be for the teacher to provide an amount of work that will occupy your son's attention, since he appears to do well when engaged in his work. It's too much to expect that a five-year old will finish his work and occupy himself without some assistance and guidance, though the teacher does not have to be engaging him on a one-to-one basis to do this. The additonal tasks do not have to be onerous - they can be quite enjoyable and fun.

[WGMom]

Does your son's school have computers?  If so, this would be a great way for your son to spend his extra time.  The schools have computer programs that are both fun and educational that children really enjoy.

My concern about punishing your child for this, is he may react by taking longer at his work and not completing it at all.  He should be praised for doing so well, not punished.  He is not really doing anything wrong, he just does not fit in the "box" and the teacher does not know what to do with him.

Anyway, that's my take on the situation from reading your post.  

Take care.

[marian]

Make sure you check out the Johns Hopkins program, IAAY, based in Baltimore, for computer-based learning at an individual's own pace. Also, can he read a book of his choice when he finishes the school work? Being rewarded with time on a computer can really work well if the school allows it. Supplying a computer for the school costs about $550 and would be well worth it if they allow it. Therapy is alot more expensive.