MY CHILDREN HURT THEMSELVES IN ANGER

[maybeth]

my son started bashing his forehead on the floor when he was mad at about 9 months old. he has since then dropped down to his knees hard and throws his head on the foor really heard. or he will hit hemself, anywhere he can or he will hit something. he is 3 years old and is still doing all this.my other son is going to be 2 years old and does the same thing,but i think he just copies his older brother.is this normal?It seems if we walk off they still do it... in fact, when they do this often they will walk off and do it in other parts of the house.  They seem to do this when they (the brothers) fight over toys, when they get told no, or even something as simple as not knowing how to work something... We often sit them down and talk with them and calm the storm  down if you know what I mean... It's not like we don't try to deal with this... The question is... IS THIS NORMAL? We have both worked with children in sports, youth groups and different things and have never seen such big tempers... I read other posts about leaving them alone when they hit themselves, the problematic thing with our kids is that they seem to have a lot of strength for their age... In other words when they do this they DO hurt themselves.  When we sit them down and talk to them it almost feels as if we are only putting a band aid on the problem.  We are trying to find out the root of this behavior ... Do some children seem to do this more than others? We are not saying that they do this all the time nor are we saying they are crazy, we are just thinking this seems strange to us.  

Our younger son seemed to wise up a little and decided not to hit his head on hard things anymore, he usually just hits his head on pillows...

Our older son seems to try to find the harder things ...

[margypops]

As this is a 2 year old thread you may find you can get more information from stephie by sending her a note or PM ...good luck

[Gidget7]

Stephanie,

My daughter is 10 years old now, but when she was 6 months old she started waking up at about 3 in the morning screaming and talking in her sleep, it would take me hours to calm her down and get her back to sleep.  Up to the age of 6, this was a common occurance and the older she got the more things she would do,  she would walk and talk in her sleep, her eyes were completely open but she had no idea what she was doing.  Many of my friends witnessed this behavior and where freaked out.  I was lucky because my best friends oldest son had experienced the same thing, diagnosed as "Night Terrors".  One night my daughter was screaming and thrashing so much that I got into bed with her, about a hour later I woke up screaming, my daughters thrashing landed her heel into my nose.  Needless to say my nose was broken and I had to have it surgically corrected.  I was told that my daughter would grow out of it by the age of 8 to 10, and she did, I was one of the lucky ones.  My girlfriends daughter hits herself and thats why I am on this website and read your story.  I have been around alot of children with all types of behavioral problems and I really think you should find someone to help your daughter right away and don't stop until you get help.  Your daughters behavior is not normal by any means, she is in desperate need of help and it will get worse.  Has your daughter been tramitized or suffered from any type of physical abuse that you know, I mean has anyone touched her inappropriately?  Young children who have suffered physically or emotionally or who have witnessed such behavior, tend to respond in the same manner your daughter is.  Please get her help immediately, for your sake and for her own.  Eventually, the things she is doing to herself now will no longer give her satisfaction and she will begin increasing her limitations to get the same results. DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU GET HELP, SHE IS THE ONLY HOPE YOU HAVE FOR A NORMAL LIFE.   I hope everything works out for you both, my prayers are with you.

[stephie5566]

I have a 2 yr old girl. she seems to get angry alot and when she does she bites her hands/fingers and arms. she pulls her hair out and eats it..or she will eat my hair that she will find around the house. she holds her breath till her face turns purpleish. she slaps herself in the face. sticks her fingers down her throat till she gags. bangs her head against her bed and anything hard. throws herself down on the ground so hard and rolls around screaming like she is being killed. BAD TEMPER TANTRUMS!! and one morning when i woke up she had bruises and scratches on her cheeks really bad! because she pinches every part of her body as well. she rolls around alot in her sleep and i hear thumping throughout the night. another morning i woke up and saw that she had a bruise on her temple and it had blacked her eye. at first i was thinking it was terrible 2s, but now its getting out of control! i cannot bring her anywhere because of her behavior. i am scared that she might be bipolar. her father is, but i had brought her to a child psycologist and he said that she was too yound to be diagnosed with that or adhd. they are looking further into this but im afraid of wat will happen in the mean time. they told me that i will have to hold her down wen she throws her fits, to keep her from hurting herself. i feel wrong doing that. she is going to be evaluated. they said it sounds like she has pica for the hair eatng and something else for her hair pulling out. and maybe SIBS. but i am under so much stress because of this and i dont kno who to talk to other than my mom. PLEASE i need some advise or help!     Thanks Stephanie

[Natta1980]

Repetitive movements (running around something in circles) can be seen in children with ASD and ADHD....My son who is diagnosed PDD-NOS (ASD spectrum), his school beleives that he has Hyperactivity with the mood disorder though......We did not see any language delay in him until 3.5 - he asks for things, has (and always had) pretty extensive vocabulay...We have noticed a language delay when he started having problems with pragmatics (small talk), answering abstract questions (what did you do at school today), and reciprocal communication (holding a conversation). Thing is, children are not required to have much reciprocity and abstract concepts before 3.5-4 years old....S0 for a while he was on target with all milestones 0-3, now he is lagging. Does your son have trouble following direction,  how does he play? Does he imitate you? What about eye contact? Attention span?

Anyway, evaluation with multidisciplinary group of specialists will not hurt:)

Good luck

[maybeth]

WELL HE IS REALLY HYPER! PEOPLE WE KNOW JOKE AND SAY WE ARE  RAISING T HE NEXT GENERATION TRACK AND FIELD RUNNER FOR THE USA TEAM.BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO BELIEVE HOW HE IS. WE WAS WITH SOME FRIENDS AND MY SON STARTED RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND A FLOWER THING IN FRONT OF COFFEE SHOP FOR ABOUT 30 MIN.THEY SAID OH MY GOSH! BUT THIS IS NORMAL FOR HIM! HE DOES'NT HAVE A LANGUAGE DELAY.BUT HE DID DO SOME REALLY WIRED STUFF NOW THAT I THINK  ABOUT IT.LIKE HE NEVER CRAWLED AT 3 MONTHS OLD HE WAS STANDING, AND AT 7 MONTHS HE WOULD'NT WALK HE WOULD RUN.DO YOU KNOW IF THIS FITS IT TO?

[Natta1980]

ADHD and Mood disorder in a combo often look like pervasive developmental disorder in younger age (PDDs are autism spectrum disorders)

Many children (and adults) with mood regulation disorders hurt themselves

Do they have language delay, gross motor delays, obsessions, hyperactivity?


Anyway, keep modeling appropriate responces (sounds like you are already doing it) - one day it will register and you will see the light:)


Good luck with everything

[1worriedmom0526]

My son has been doing something almost identical to this for years.  He is 8 and he started this when he was about 2 1/2 or 3.  He gets mad at himself so he'll take his fist and pound his head and call himself stupid.  He's also ADHD and has a mood disorder.  For a while the doctors debated if he had a touch of autism.  I never saw other kids behave this way.  Now I guess I know other kids do it too.