Major Tantrums Rage Uncommunicative

[snowogu]

Hi my 3yo who has always been highly frustrated is have numerous melt downs a day. This can be over anything and is particularly difficult to respond, divert and even talk about afterwards. The tantrums can be caused by bobbles on her socks, not finding her favourite car, being cold when it is warm, not having the right towel, anything really. Her language becomes regressed with her screaming one word such as Dolly, Cold or a mad up word over and over again. Communication is pointless as it tends to heighten the tantrum. The tantrum can lead to in rare cases self abuse such as biting her hand she can also overturn furniture. As her father if I am around or try to help the tantrum gets worse. Her language skills are behind for her age but can if she wants use language to a basic level she can.

Sleep patterns are relatively normal and diet is good in terms of fresh fruit, meat, fish and vegetables. She is on omega 3 supplement.

We are finding it increasing difficult to cope with the tantrums and the slightly depressed moods. Household is stable with extended family support. She has a younger sister who appears fine.

There is some pronoun reversal in her speech and sometime copies. Doesn't like mum and me speaking sometimes telling us don't do that.

Any pointers?

Cheers

[Rosilina]

Hi ... I feel sorry for you.  Sounds like you described my daughter...  And having mild depression is for our family is putting it lightly.  I suggest taking your daughter to an occupational therapast to test her for sensory integration disorder.  I have also found that with my daughter communication increases the problem.  We have adopted the following when there is a tantrum.  We pick her up without talking to her or saying a word and take her to the bathroom where she has a special mat. She is screaming and kicking all the time.  While she is on the mat - I sit away from her on the side of the bath and wait for the melt down to stop.  I then pick her up and hold her while swaying her.  Afterwards she is always completely exhausted (it lasts for +- 3 min) but better.  I used to try to talk to her about what she felt but found that she is not able to word her feelings which would upset her again.  Now I just leave it and show her that I will comfort her.  That is for me dealing with tantrums in the short term but to get rid of it...

[tiredbuthappy]

I would speak to your pediatrician about the problem and get an evaluation. most school districts can do an early intervention evaluation. i agree with you that something doesn't sound quite right. The sooner you get help, the sooner you will see improvements. There are several indicators in your description that lead me to believe it is more than attention seeking.

[margypops]

Try less communication when she throws the tantrums ignore some of it, and use the time out method, she is getting negative attention, focus on the positive side of her behavior, praise her when she does something good, children resond to flattery,dont we all, Omega 3 is good and try a Multiple Vitamin withB Complex and Vit C  When she doesnt like you and her Mom talking she is trying to get your attention, do not give it when she demands but make sure she is getting plenty of Fun, games Reading and one to one time, outside activities.