Male adult family member a threat?

[Laura516]

So, I recently found out that my brother in law molested his sister at the age of 15, she was 16. He would sneak into her room at night and molest her while she was asleep. He was addicted to pornography shortly after that and has always had a problem with being dishonest (lying about school, work, etc.). When in his mid-20's, his girlfriend fell asleep on him and he molested her. We found this out because he confided in my husband by sharing some of these things with him. A year ago, when i found all of this out, i made the decision to not have him alone or hold my daughter anymore. My husband confronted his brother about this and some family members. We have since then been almost cast out from his side of the family. Have been called judge-mental, self righteous, even that we (my husband and I) must have these such desires in order to point the finger at someone else ..etc. I believe this guy has a serious problem. He has denied any and all conversations with my husband, confessing these dark things that he has done and my in-laws now believe this guy over my husband and I. Am I crazy in not wanting my little girl around her "uncle"?  

[nyneave_almera]

I don't think not letting him hold her is overboard. I would not even let her see that side of the family, because obviously they don't think molestation is wrong, and they may let him around her. She's the most important thing.

[specialmom]

Here is the deal----------  your job------ first and foremost------- is to protect your child.  You can see that your brother in law's parents and family are still protecting their child---------  your brother in law.

Does the sister in law not back up your claim??  Strange.  But some families do not like to rock the boat.   And your main goal is to protect your little one and not "out" him.

So protect your child and let it go.  Don't let him alone with her--------  but  I think it was a bit overboard to say he can't hold her in front of you and that you had to confront him and get the whole family to agree that he has a problem.  Just my opinion.  So move on and don't make this into a family war on your part either.  He has done nothing to you or your child but he is someone to be extra careful with.  You can do that without involving every single family member and calling him a pedaphile.  Just my opinion.  He also hasn't shown that he is interested in little kids---  his sister (yuck, gross) was his age and his girlfriend was as well.  While that isn't good, that does not show he is after tiny children.  Keep it in perspective.  I don't condone what he did but you might have gone a little overboard with the response.  It would have been better for your husband to approach him as a buddy and in a caring way to say------  do you think you might want to talk to a therapist about that stuff to make sure it doesn't happen again?  VS. you are a criminal and we don't want you anywhere near us and the whole family needs to believe that too!!  So, anyway, good luck.  Hope too much damage hasn't been done.  

[Laura516]

Well, I failed to mention that the sister happened to wake up during it and was very upset, of course. She told her mother and confronted the brother. He denied it for a while then confessed. The mother didn't do anything and doesn't even remember ever being told about it. The sister told us that even though it took her a long time to get over what happened, she later realized that what happened was "normal", that it's ok for curious boys to do things like that...

[RockRose]

From what you're saying he doesn't sound like a *********.

Who sleeps through being molested?  Sounds like somehow you're not getting the whole story.