Managing Temperament

[Madhu123]

My 4 year old daughter became very staburn and has a very high temperament.  She doesn't respect any one. All of a sudden her mood gets changed(for very silly reasons) and she starts hiting/biting and pulls my hair or tend to distruct objects around. At the other extream she behaves very well and creates an impression that is this girl can behave so rudely?  I am helpless and finding ways to broght her up with a good behaviour.

Little background:  She is my elder daughter, I gave birth to another daughter around 9months back.  It seems like she has the sibling jealousy with her sister.  She doen't treat her well and oftern tries to push her and trouble her. Moreover I am a working women and my in laws look after them when I go to work

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Her behavior is very typical of most four year olds.  Be consistent, follow through.  Make sure your rules are simple so she knows what to expect.  Reward positive behaviour (stickers are always great).

She will get through this phase soon.

[waitingwithhope]

Take this daughter out for special mom and daughter time or set aside some special time for her at home. Be clear with the rules, be consistent and follow through with your rules and the consequences, always talking in a very even tone of voice, letting her know you respect her feelings but that she also must respect you as a parent. Also, invite her to "help" out in areas she would like to help out in, always praising her for good behavior (be specific in your praise-i.e. "I like the way you found the diaper for the baby". Also, when you can see she is starting to get upset, tell her, " I know you are hurt that you are not getting time with mommy right now, but I promise you that right after (this) we will sit down and play a game (etc.)."