Mother sleeping with 11yr old son

[Gigi1946]

Recently my son and daughter-in-law along with their two children (boy 11 and girl 12) spent the night at our (grandma & grandpa's) house, after picking their son up from spending a week at camp.  Rather than drive from the camp back to their house (in another city) they asked if they could stay at our house for the night. We have two extra bedrooms at our house so sleeping arrangements were not a problem.  When it became bedtime. I asked my son how they were going to manage the sleeping arrangements, expecting to hear that he was sleeping with his son in one bedroom and that his wife was sleeping with their daughter in the other bedroom.

To my suprise and shock he said that because his son had missed his mom so much that the son would be sleeping with his mom (in the same bed, as there is only one bed, a double, in that room) and he would be sleeping with his daughter (in separate beds as there are two single beds) in the other room.

I (grandpa) became very upset. So much so that I couldn't sleep all night.  My wife was also upset but not to the degree that I was.  I thought that it was wrong for the mother to sleep in the same bed with the 11 year old, and my wife thought that it was inappropriate. So our reaction to the situation was a matter of degree only.

Some history....our daughter in law was brought up in a non religious, touchy-feely, lessaie-faire, do what you 'feel' is right house-hold. She is 37 years old and still sits on her father and mother's knee and snuggles up to them with kisses and hugs, and in our eyes quite mushy, even in public, to the point of having others make remarks. So far we have made excuses like, "Oh thats' only Susan's (not real name) way of acting", but now with the sleeping with her 11 yr old son, in our house, we feel that she has crossed the line.

QUESTION........We, grandma (61 yrs old) and grandpa (63 yrs old), are both upset and uncertain about how to handle this, what do you suggest?

[margypops]

It is quite common for children to sleep with their parents and indeed in other countries is a normal natural habit, I feel it disturbs their sleep and they are better in their own bed I do however think it a matter of choice and I do not believe that families that sleep together are child molestors, more often than not it solves itself when the children get to 12-13 and puberty comes home to roost. they then want all their privacy. I think you should leave it alone you may be concerned but it really is their choice and will only allienate you from them . Good Luck