My 1 year old will not listen!

[adamsmommy]

Please help.  My 1 year old son will NOT listen to me!  I have tried everything to disipline him and nothing works.  Do I try spanking?  He gets into everything, from opening the dishwasher, to dumping over the trash can and climbing on everything!  He knows he is not suposse to me doing this things.  I know this because he looks at me and laughs when I tell him no.  I am at my wits end.  My husband and I are both sick, I just miscarried - we both need our rest and my child is a wild man.  I need to know how to set boundaries and how to get him to listen to me and obey me when I say no.  I just want a well-behaved child.  One who dosn't throw fits.  Please help!

[mom@homenow]

He's too young really to understand discipline. At that age I don't think spanking will be productive, it likely wouldn't get any results. He's too young to reason with, too young really to understand bounderies. So if he's into everything and you can't keep up, you'll have to set the bounderies yourself. I used babygates and a playpen. Yes, some people now get very upset at the thought of not letting the child "run free" but as you well know, every child can not be raised the same! It sounds like your son is a lot like my brother was, and my mother finally had my dad cut a wood door into a dutch door and put it on my brother's bedroom. They completely child proofed his room and then when he escaped his crib in the night they could hear him because the top part of the door was open but he was contained. A friend of mine took her furniture out of her dining room, put toys in and gated the doors for 2 years until her second son was past this stage.

One other thing that helped me was to rotate toys. That is, I kept 3 or 4 boxes of toys and would get one down & my son would be interested in those for an afternoon or so... then when he got bored and started looking for something else to do, I'd pick those up and get a different box out. That way there was always something "new" for him to explore.

I hope I've given you some ideas you can use. Good luck, it does get better soon!

[Kalio1]

The poor child is a BABY! You should understand you can not discipline a one year old child. Please get some counselling and some parenting education before you really harm this child.
No one year old should be "disciplined" of course he wont listen to you, he is not old enough to comprehend your demands.
Do not strike the child or yell at him! Get some help in understanding how to properly parent your child. Discipline has no role in a child so young. Please, get some help and learn how to parent.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I agree, 1 is too young for him to understand the concepts you are trying to get through to him.  I sense this is a stressful time for you and I am sure it is very hard right now.

You can actually buy a playyard.  It is a series of gates you lock together and it makes a large enclosed play area.  It's kind of like a puppy kennel, but for babies....It can help keep him safe when he is out of your arms.

1 year olds LOVE garbage cans, toilets, cupboards and virtually everything you do not want them to touch.  Your son's behavior is completely age appropriate.  I think you need a break, and some good books that will give guidelines as to what to expect of your son at this age.

Try to be patient, he is a baby and really doesn't understand rules yet.

[RockRose]

Your son sounds like  mine when he was that age.  I'd look jealously at mothers who had kids who sat on their behinds and ate cheerios out of those little tupperware containers while the moms chatted.  

Mine was into EVERYTHING.  He could figure out every imaginable child lock system,  so I had to actually make child locks out of interlocking dog collars because those are operated by brute hand strength that a 1 year old doesn't have.  

I had to  buy an extra fisher price car seat so I could strap him into it with a pile of books while I took a 5 minute shower - otherwise,  God knows what would have happened in that 5 minutes!  He could certainly crawl out of a crib by that time or over any fencing system.  

He's now 17 years old,  and a delight.  

Put everything UP that you don't want your son in,  put the garbage can on the kitchen counter,  devise some kind of locking mechanism for the dishwasher,  etc.    

They grow up so fast!!  In the blink of an eye he'll be 17 too, like mine,  and you'll smile wistfully when someone writes a post like yours.    I bet he's really smart.

[adamsmommy]

kalio1 - your comment was extremely rude and uncalled for.  By no means am I hurting my child emotionally or physically. I am hurt and disgusted that you would post such a comment.  From my understanding this forum is to help people, not to offend people my telling them that they need parenting classes or counseling.  I just hope that other women who are going through my same frustrations won't read your comment, as it is both stupid and hurtful.

RockRose - thank you for your comment.  It helps to know that other women feel or have felt my level of frustration.  I fear for my son’s safety above anything else.  I have baby proved my entire house and he still finds a way to hurt himself or get into something that he is not suppose to.  Thanks again for your comment!

[blondie72]

It sounds like you want to live in "Perfect"town and it is NOT going to happen - He is a baby but he does understand more than you know - You have to set boundaries - When my son was getting into the garbage can I put it in the garage so he couldn't get to it - You have to be VERY CONSISTANT - He is going to act out and throw fits and when he does you make sure he is safe then IGNORE it - They do things to get a reaction out of us - He won't bother with this if he knows it won't bother you.  If he likes to climb give him something safe to climb on and make sure you are VERY specific about THAT being a place to climb - Remove things that are dangerous.  Things will get better with repetition and if he knows YOU and YOUR DH are the boss - Spanking should be a LAST RESORT if at all - I have done the hand smack before (don't like it but I have).   Give it time - It is a frustrating time right now for all of you but you have to hang in there and be consistant and show him who is boss.  Good Luck to you.

[mommy122607]

I have the same problem and my son takes it a step further by banging his head on anything and everything. I put him on the rug or the bed and he will find the hardest place to hit his head. He's given himself a black and blue from hitting himself on his crib bar in the middle of the night. I don't know what else to do either I keep reminding myself its a phase but it is a dangerous and scary phase I tell him no and sit him down for a minute or two and try to explain to him that I don't like that and that hurts as he says it "owww" don't hit your head, but he has such a temper? This is the part of his behavior I have the most trouble with. But as to him getting into everything he does tha as well and I baby broof but it true its just a stage you do what you can smart babies always find away around what you've set up LOL. He is 15mths now I don't know what else to do?