My 10yr old Step daughter is stealing

I have a 10 yr old step daughter that has been stealing from me. I have on younger daughter from previous relationship who is 6 and a 11 yrs old step sone. She has taken my jewelry, food and money. This is the 4th time I have caught her this month. She loves to lie to us and does it very well!!! Her mother died 5 years ago and I am raising her full time while her father works nights. She likes to play my husband and I against each other so she can get her way. Im the "evil stepmother" that does everything for her. There isnt one thing that this girl has ever wanted that she has not gotten. Not that she is spoiled but whatever she wants she gets and Im the one that gets it for her. We spend all of our time together I am always with her. We hold hands, we go on dates, she even comes food shopping with me. I have shown her nothing but love and all she does is lie to me about everything and now she is stealing from me. I dont know what to do. I do know that Im getting sick of it. It's been hard to be around her. Everytime I look at her I see nothing but this girl who I cant trust. I dont want to be around her anymore. I know i shouldnt be this way but I cant help it. We are trying to get her help. So far we have called 9 or 10 therapist and for some reason or another they can take her. We have one appt in August but what do we do in the meantime. I am not the perfect mother. I do have a temper but I did nothing that would cause this.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are doing the right thing by arranging professional help. In the meantime, of course continue to set reasonable limits and employ a sound reward/punishment system (such as the one detailed in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents). Also, focus on your reactions. You can help yourself. If you tell yourself: I can't help it', you are relinquishing control over your own reactions. It might be hard to display affection or empathy for your daughter, but you can. It's not as if she wakes up each morning determined to make life difficult for you. You are taking her behavior personally, and when you personalize children's behavior you lose perspective.