My 11 year old son

My son has not had a very good time of it so far in his short life. He witnessed spousal abuse; mental, verbal and physical; from the beginning. He's an only child and we have moved to five different communities in the past 10 years. When he had just turned 8, he witnessed the aftermath of his father's suicide. He is extemely bright (IQ 139) and articulate. But he is very depressed (misses his Dad) and does not have all social skills required in this life. He has been kicked out of school for being rude and not doing as he was told. He can be very loving with me, and he can be very rude. He is seeing a psychiatrist who suggested maybe an anitdepressant for a short time just so that my son could see "the glass as half full rather than half empty" for awhile, then maybe he could feel good on his own.
I do not want him on any drugs. It may be necessary, but I would like to look into any other solutions first. Does anyone have any other solutions or suggestions?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear C,

In light of all your son has been through, it's no wonder he is having some problems. He certainly can profit from therapy; I hope you are pursuing this for him.

I can see why the psychiatris recommended medication for your son. This would probably be a useful tool, and perhaps make it much more likely that he will take in the possible benefits of therapy.

Sometimes it's not useful to regard medication as a last resort. Rather, in some instances it is the wise thing to do because the symptoms call for it, not because other interventions have been tried and have failed.

[PamD]

I'm so sorry to hear of the trouble your son is experiencing.  I don't have any other solutions or ideas, I just wanted to say that I have a ten-year-old who has been on an antidepressant and it really helped her cope with the everyday reality of life much better.  It didn't change her personality, just seemed to help her cope.  Medication does not have to be permanent either.  My daughter is off the med and doing just fine.  It might help your son get over the hump.

[Dee]

I agree with PamD.  I went through the same with my son, even though his depression was not related to something as serious and heartbreaking as your son's.  He had very low self-esteem and we went to several different psychologists and psychiatrists as well as the school counselor.  He tried too hard to fit in and felt negative attention was better than no attention.  His sleep was very disturbed.  The medication helped with his night sleep and during the day he felt better as well.  The social problems didn't seem that "big" to him when he felt better and therefore he didn't have to try so hard to fit in.  Again, it just might be the ticket needed to get your son "over the hump."

[Been there too]

One other solution might be homeopathy. Go to www.homeopathyhome.com and post a case history. There are various homeopaths on this forum who might follow your case. We had success in treating our son with homeopathy. Good luck!