My 12 year old is afraid

My 12 year old son has just told me last night that he cant sleep.  Then he went into tear that every night he checks under the bed, looks out the window, looks behind the couches and knows nothing is there, but says it still feels as if someone is.  Then his knees and hands start to shake and he is, as he says, scared, but not scared?  I dont know where to go from here.  I thought maybe it was my home, but he says no, it's at his dad's house too.  He is more comfortable if he has a friend over, it comforts him?  Help

[margypops]

Does he watch any video's TV anything that may make him afraid of being alone , could it be a ploy to have a friend to stay ..?How long has he been afraid like this ?

[AnnieBrooke]

Does he have a pet to sleep with?  Are there nightlights in all the rooms of the house (the kind with sensors, that go on at night)?  Does he get enough exercise?  (Anxiety can be greatly reduced by exercise.)

[Amy131]

He plays video games, but mostly sports ones?  He plays football and swims mostly all of the time, so he's getting his exercise.....and I leave lights on all over the house so he can see whats going on.....Could be a plot?  But he was so sincere :( he even cried :(
I was also afraid as he is when I was younger, and I was well into my 20's before it went away, and I still get the fear of the unknown on occasion??  He has a pet, but he doesn't like him in his room because he bothers him....??  He has been afraid since he was old enough to know better.

[margypops]

haha no sorry a ploy to be allowed to have a friend to stay, however it sounds like more than that now you have explained further. It may be a good idea to speak to the Doctor for more input his fear does sound extreme.I doubt if sports video's would be a cause .

[jdtm]

He has been afraid since he was old enough to know better. --  your words


Then, you're dealing with anxiety and not 'afraid".  I might suggest you google phrases as "anxiety behaviors in children" or "anxiety disorders in children" or "GAD in children" - GAD is the abbreviation for Generalized Anxiety Disorder or similar words/phrases.

If a child is afraid or shy, he will be able to cope and function.  If a child is unable to function or the "fear" impedes his life, then you are probably dealing with an anxiety disorder.  As margypops said - maybe it is time to talk to the family physician.  Anxiety is not only a mental and emotional disorder but very much a physical disorder.  Hope this helps ....

[margypops]

I agree with jdtm this does sound like more is going on and he needs some professional help ..good luck