My 14-year old lies and steals

After reading the question about the 11-year old granddaughter that lies and steals I felt like I had just read about my own daughter.  It is very similar except that my daughter thefts haven't gone outside the home yet...that we know of.  But that is my fear.  How do I stop this now before it's too late?  We've been to so many different counselors and none of them have an answer.  We usually go several times and then the last appointment they never ask us to come back - there is no "OK, let's set up your next appt".  That's when I know they are done with us and have no idea what to do with us so we try the next one.  We're out of doctors.  This last one was one of the best we had (she diagnosed her with Asperger Syndrome), but then again, she never asked us to come back.  It's because my daughter never gets any better.  She has gotten worse if anything.  We try to be consistent at home; we have taken all of her priveledges away, but she just doesn't care.  She lies about everything...I mean everything.  She will lie about the color of the sky and then argue and scream at us that we are wrong and swear she isn't lieing.  I'm at a lose for words.  Every day is torture for us.  Every day there is a fight because she either lied about something or we caught her stealing from us.  Lately her thefts have been food.  She raids the cabinets and eats when we aren't looking - A LOT OF FOOD.   She gets up in the middle of the night and eats.  She is severely overweight and only getting bigger.  We have to watch her every second.  It has put a huge strain on my marriage.  We provide her (and her brother) with a stable home and she could have anything she wants if she would just straighten up.  The only option I have left is to admit her to the hospital.  The last doctor recommended putting her in a mental facility for 30-day observation, but as a mother that would be the hardest thing I could do...and the last straw.  I think I may reached that last straw.  I don't want to get that call saying my daughter is in jail because of something she did.  If anyone has any suggestions I would be forever grateful.


This discussion is related to My eleven year old Granddaughter lies and steals all the time.

[Encephalomalcia]

I need to hear more of what she has done, because what you have written is what our daughters do and I feel there is nothing wrong just girls growing up.  If she is overweight, then buy foods that are less in calories and do not buy snacks.  Children that are overweight and want to eat will sneak food to their bedrooms and hide it to eat when they want.  The more you take away the food, the more obsessed she will become with it.  It is best to not have all the yummy food in the house.  Let her eat when she wants.  She has to learn how to make choices to eat or not.  Make sure there are no high calorie packed foods in your cupboards or frig.  Kids try to get away with things.  The fun part is when we catch them.  I love it when I catch them in a lie.  Example:  My step-daughter age 9 didn't want to do her AR book reading at school where they have to take a test after reading the book.  She tried to get out of it by keeping books she checked out of the library at home, so the library would not let her check out any more books.  She told my husband (her father) that the book we found in the house was a book the library had given her (it was not the book she had not returned).  The book we should be looking for had a different title which she told us.  We looked for the book for about three weeks.  Meanwhile, she told her teacher that she left the book at her mom's house and the library the same.  I got wise, called the library and asked what the name of the book was that she had not returned.  It was the book we had all along.  I returned the book to the school library and told them.  She was busted.  She is now doing her reading and AR tests.  Children try to get away with things, our job is to be wise and catch them.  They try to outsmart us, but soon learn that they cannot.  We need to let our children make decision and choices, so when they become an adult they will be able to make the correct choice.