I am a single mother of 3. My oldest son who is 15 just started hanging out with a new boy who moved in our neighborhood. He started smoking pot, grades are dropping and he is very defiant. He has been taking concerta for his ADHD and suffers from Asthma. I called him out on Halloween for smoking pot and told him that if he was going to live under my roof that he would not being doing drugs or failing in school. He puffed up his chest last night and bumped me. Then preceded to tell me that he has smoked pot every day for the last 10 days and what was I going to do about it? I told him to pack his things and get out. This all happened in front of my 6 year old daughter. He left with two hefty bags of clothes. His dad said he was going to his new friends house tonight to pick him up. I am beside myself and don't know what I should be doing. I need to parent manual right about now!
I understand you are upset. But, nonetheless, he is a minor and you cannot be 'kicking him out'. It's important that you maintain you equanimity, not react emotionally, and develop a rational plan. One thing you can do is arrange an appointment with a mental health professional who specializes in the treatment of adolescents. Also, meet with his team at school and discuss the situation and see what they might have to offer. If there is an adult relative, friend of the family, etc. whom he likes and trusts, see if that person can help out as well. Finally, talk with the new boy's parents and see what they are thinking about the situation. Sometimes joining forces can be better than going it alone.
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