My 2 year old is out of control

My 2 year old is simply out of control. He hits me,scratches me, bites me, he takes his toys and hits everything in the house, the t.v.'s, computer tables, couches, even my glass coffee table which he eventually broke. I try and sit him down, and look him in the eyes and tell him what he did wrong, We've even tried spanking him, putting him in time out, or taking things away. Nothing is working. Sometimes he can be very sweet other times he tries to do things to make people laugh. He turns the burners on the stove, opens cabinents, even the doors to the outside [which i've had child proof] I don't know whether to take him to a behavior doctor, or if it could simply because he's two. A lot of people think because he's home with his father and we are both very young parents, maybe his father being young, and his friends being young eggs my son on to do things that he'd think they would find funny. I am 21 years old, and work a full time job going to school at night, I have enrolled my son into day care which he will start in less then a month, i am just very scared of him being kicked out after all the money is paid. What Can I do to change my son's behavior? Ps, the only person he listens to is "DAD"

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

From your description it doesn't sound like he follows anyone's directions particularly well. At his age it is important that you be employing a structured, systematic method of managing the behavior. It sounds like you are doing a variety of things, without any underlying organization or plan. I often recommend Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents to help people learn the approach that will work.