My 3 year old bites, throws and knocks over chairs when upset and knows that it's wrong. HELP!

[4UYAYA]

My son just turned 3.He is a very sweet, loving and smart child but when he doesn't get his way his fits are getting worse. He is biting "again" and knows that it's wrong and knows how upset it makes me and his father.  We have tried everything from timeout, taking toys away, spanking, biting him back and nothing works. I am at a lost and it bothers me to see him get so upset and not able to control his temper.

[olmstead07]

to babygirl216
I have a son that is 11 now, but he was just like that...and still is.  He is ADHD and ODD.  I checked him into a hospital at that age and they helped!!!  It was very hard to do, but it is so worth it!!!  Your child can not go on harming people and himself..  Please concider this option.
***@****
Lisa

[Sgullotto]

I have a 4 year old foster son who we have had for 9 months now. He goes in cycles and since a regression a few months ago started he will go into his bedroom and urinate on his carpet. He even does this after he has just gone in the toilet. He has several behavioral problems. He kicks, bites,pulls hair, punches, head butts, pinches, picks up chairs and throws things when told no. Even more recently he is starting to bite and punch and kick with no warning at all. He just sets down his crayons walks over to a child and bites them or whatever. He will actually push a kid down to the ground and straddle them and punch them. He was a drug baby and his behaviors continue to get worse. The longer he goes without seeing his mom the better he behaves. He was seeing her every week and it was awful. He now only sees her every other week and it is getting better. However during a visit a few months his mother held him to the ground when he was throwing a fit and not he has regressed alot. We are moving really close to termination and we are trying to keep our sanity through it all. We are getting ready to do an MRI and have a nueropyschological test done. Does anyone have any experience with this?

[Cleveland Mom]

Great!  look forward to hearing how things go!  Best wishes...

[4UYAYA]

Thank you for your input and I am going to buy that book and keep you posted on how it works out.  Cross your fingers it's good!!!

[babygirl216]

I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy, who will be 4 next month. He has been diagnosed with Ashberger's Disorder. He has been on two different types of medication, they are trying to control his behavior, but noithing seems to work. Me and his step-dad had to replace to walls in his bedroom (he headbutts everything) because he bangs his head off anything that he can get near him. He put a total of 4 holes in the walls from him headbutting the wall so hard that he put his head through it. He also put two more holes in the walls by kicking the walls. If I don't watch him he will go after his little brother which just turned two. I have tried everything from spanking, timeout, grounding, taking things away, and nothing seems to work. When we spank him it seems to just make the situation worst.  He also beats himself in the head, the doctor that he sees told us to restrain him when he does that, he headbutted me and the back of his head caught my collar bone. I have been kicked, hit, he tried punching me, and he tries to really hurt his brother. I don't know what to do anymore. He is very smart and i love him very much, and i tell him all the time that we love him. Nothing seems to work. If anyone has any feedback on this disorder plz fill me in.

[Cleveland Mom]

You need to consult the physician's and/or clinicians who are caring for your son and report the your concerns.  His behaviors are quite severe and he is dangerous to himself and others caring for him as well as siblings.  Best wishes..

[Cleveland Mom]

I have posted before that I am a big fan of Dr. Clark's book.  I use the methods in his book consistently with my kids, now age 5 and 2. I learned about it from this forum.  I have seen big improvements with my children's behavior.  They are better out in public, play better together and are happier since I have set up rules and make sure that they abide by them.   I feel more confident as a mom.  I know that by establishing standards for behavior I am helping them to be successful in school in the short-term and successful in life in the long-term.   I keep book handy in the event, I experience a frustrating moment with my kids, I refer to it and it gives me the perspective I need.  Best wishes...

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It will be important to stick with a systematic approach to your son's tantrums/outbursts when he is frustrated that his wishes/pleasures are interrupted. If you adhere faithfully to the guidelines detailed in Lynn Clark's book titled SOS: Help for Parents you won't be disappointed. Physical discipline and biting are not going to be helpful - those approaches may be more indicative of your own understandable frustration than anything else. Maintain your equanimity and you'll be OK managing this. All children have to learn how to manage frustration of their wishes and how to manage the anger that accompanies their frustration. If you adopt Clark's approach, please let us know how it turns out.

[Cleveland Mom]

Three year olds have a low tolerance for frustration.  At the same time, he needs to learn that biting, throwing, and knocking over chairs are all inappropriate behavior.  In order to learn this he needs to experience a negative consequence i.e. time out.  If you are consistent in placing him in time out each time that he displays the above mentioned problem behaviors, the behaviors will decrease.  The key is to be consistent.  Spanking and biting him back are ineffective ways to address his behaviors.  Best wishes...

[jd1419]

I am lucky my sons have not really done this.  They were never biters, I was lucky.  Though they do throw fits when they don't get their way.  If they are in the house it usually results in them storming off and slaming the bathroom or the bedroom door--I allow them to slam it once and then they will sit in their room or bathroom and pout until they calm down.  If thye slam twice then I take them from that room and make them sit in the room of my choice.  
So if he is throwing a fit and starts this behavior pick him up put him in a room and shut the door.  Try and make sure there is nothing in the room that you don't want thrown for he may still have a fit in there--but at least it is away from the rest of the family.  I think if they don't get the reaction they want it seems to stop the fit a lot quicker....Good Luck