My 3 year old has been defiant since she could walk, and it only seems to be getting worse as she gets older. She will lay down in the floor and throw a fit, she will pee her pants at day care when she gets in trouble. She hits , kicks and bites other kids at daycare.I am a single parent and my children have not seen their father in over two years. I have tried everything as far as discipline and nothing seems to phase her. She is also still pooping her pants. I am at my wits end, any advice would be wonderful..... Help!
Have you ever taken her to see a doctor or get some sort of counseling? If she has been like this since she started walking, there may be a chance that she could have ADD,ADHA,ODD,or something of this nature. How do your other children act out their behavior? Are they doing the same things as she is? Is she your youngest child? Children often do things good or bad to get the attention they want. It doesn't seem to matter if they do bad or good things as long as you're paying attention to them and only them. Have you ever tried making her clean up her own messes? This may help to make her realize that she needs to stop the messing in her pants if she doesn't want to clean up her own pee or poop. I would suggest taking her to the pediatrician and get her looked at. Children will act naturally like themselves and the doctor will be able to see what you are talking about. Does she know or ask about anything about her father? Do any of the other children ask about their father? They may be going through a phase of why isn't daddy here or where is daddy or something of this nature. Talking to the kids and trying to be as honest as possible without involving them too deeply about the situation could help to ease the situation. But if they aren't asking, then I wouldn't probably say anything. You sound like you need some intervention and help from the doctors. This is where I would start first. What type of punishments or rewards systems do you use? Do you have your children help out with chores around the house? They seem to be at a perfect age to teach them how to do small chores such as helping with dishes, folding laundry and putting their own clothes away, picking up their own toys and putting them away, etc. Children need structure. This is how most children are raised so when they actually do have free time on their hands, they don;t know what to do. This is when they into trouble with the hitting, biting ,kicking, etc. Rewarding kids with stickers or maybe a movie or game night with the family or friends will help them to listen better and help to learn responsibilities. Make up a chore chart with each kids names on it and for every chore they do, you initial by each chore and at the end of the week, you can decide if they've had good enough behavior that has been acceptable to you, then they can have a SPECIAL TREAT. Whatever you decide to do or all of you can decide together. I hope this helps you. Don;t be afraid to private message me if you want to talk or vent. I'm always here. I know how you feel being a single parent. I've been there. It certainly is a scary place for single parents. Remember as well, give yourself that break you need by sending the kids to grandparents, aunts, uncles, or friends places if you have the ability to. This will always help you to regenerate yourself and be a better mother to your wonderful children!! Good Luck!!
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