My 3 year old is behaving really bad

[lonidl]

Hi
I have a wonderful, and smart 3 year old boy
He is sweet but is someone that pushes the limits constantly, no naps ever at home, which is really bad for us specially weekends.
Pushes other kids when he sees that they are weaker than him or because he doesn't like what they do
lately he is not paying attention or looking at me in the eyes when I talk to him and time-out doesn't work anymore
tantrums are in his highest peak
It's been basically doing what he wants the way he wants it all the time, and it's really frustrating
I'd really appreciate your words, we really don't know what to do
Thanks

[tute7]

hi i have a 3yearold lil girl she is every thing to me and her daddy she is a only child but she has problems u have to tell her 5 to 8 time to stop doing something i tryed every thing i dont want to put her meds for it cuz shes not that bad she just dont lising good i dont know what to do nomore she asks the same thing over and over agen she know what shes doing just sitn her typen this i dun told her no 5 times she dont get the word no HELP!

[specialmom]

I have read the above book and it is good.

I also think it is good to give him choices.  This is not to say that he is getting his way because you are the one controlling the choices.  But if he gets to pick, he is much more likely to comply.  I'd pick your battles--------- not everything can be a no.  If you look at it like buckets and what goes into it, it is helpful.  Bucket A is the absolute no no and there are no compromises.  This is things like running into the street or playing with knives.  Bucket b are the things that you can work something out and give him a choice on.  And bucket c are the things you can let go.  A should never be the most full bucket.  

I also think in terms of natural consequences.  If you throw something, I take it.  If you make a mess during a tantrum, then when the tantrum is over, you have to clean it up.  I set up things before we go somewhere.  What CAN we do if we get upset and what we Can NOT do if we are upset.  If they do the can not, then I don't get mad but follow through with the fact that we will leave.  Kids hate that---------  I usually give one warning and my kids will listen.  This is, however, after following through another time and leaving somewhere.  So, follow through on what you say.

Also I think it helps a child of three to know lots of words for how he is feeling and to be encouraged to use those words.

Good luck------- 3 is a tough age!

[jdtm]

I really do not think your son is behaving badly - he's simply doing as he wants.  From what you wrote, it appears there is no discipline or behavioural guidance.

Dr. Kennedy keeps recommending a book to those who write to him on the expert forum on this site - Lynn Clark's book "SOS Help for Parents" (see www.sosprograms.com).  Hope this helps ....