My 3 yr old daughter randomly hits other kids.

[Seven145]

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. She has a really strong personality. She is very animated, funny, intelligent and engaging. However, she periodically has trouble keeping her hands to herself. The teachers at the child development center she goes to at the college I attend have called me into a meeting and describe her behavior as "extreme". She'll go weeks without anything major occurring (during which time she particpates actively and engages in mostly normal play), then she'll have a day where she'll randomly hit, pinch or otherwise hurt other children. Usually unprovoked. She doesn't seem to react to any sort of discipline offered by the staff at the child center and is usually okay being one on one with the teachers or separated from the other kids, only to re-offend when back in the group. There don't seem to be any obvious triggers. It's difficult to read when and if she'll have a "bad day" and she also seems to target children that are quiet or withdrawn or "natural victims" as identified by the staff. I'm deeply concerned. I have no idea what to do or how to respond. She does exhibit empathy when another child is upset and is very concerned by others emotions...unless she caused it. She doesn't seem remorseful when she causes a child to cry. It's almost as though she'll back up any choice she makes to the enth degree regardless if it's good or bad. Many are stunned by her will-power and tenacity. I'm not sure how to eliminate the troublesome behaviors and/or harness her positive qualities. I just want her to be normal, healthy and happy...and for her to be able to socialize normally and consistantly. What could be her issue? What are ways I can deter it? Thanks in advance.

[Seven145]

Sorry that I've posted this twice, the second time I thought I was posting it to one of the Doctors. I don't know how to get rid of the second post.

They did say that they are going to start documenting everything....hopefully that will give us some clues as to what's going on in her head.

Thanks all for suggestions. I'm so lost.

[tiredbuthappy]

my suggestion would be to have them start recording the incidents- where, when, who (you will not be told who) was involved, etc... It may help you find a trigger.

[babygirl6152]

Since they are so few and far between could it be a rush from refined sugar?

In my opinion she may NOT be truly sorrowful but this is also part of training a loving child- you have them not only apologize but let them back into the group when they say something kind or do something nice for the other child.. if you think she is too young for that- you could try rewards- since you say she is strong willed this website should help

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=664&e=advicelist&catparcode=ps_bhvdsphbts&ccat=PS_Discipline