My 3 yr old does not like to eat and is uncontrolable

Everytime it is time to eat my 3 yr old says she does not like it, or it will make her sick. She says I am not eating no never. I am concerned about her not getting the nutrition she needs. She is also very defiant she refuses to do things such as pick up her toys, hold my hand when we go out... places such as the mall. If she does not get her way she flips out until she falls asleep or drives us so crazy we give in. She disrespects us, such as hitting us with her fist or toys when she gets angry, she even hits me in public when she doesn't get her way. I was wondering if the eating and behavior could be from the same problem or if there is any explanation for why she is acting the way she does, and with her not eating what do I do???

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Tiana,

Regarding your daughter's eating, prepare the meals, place them in front of her, and leave her alone. She will eat if she's hungry. Let Mother Nature run its course. There's no need to engage in struggles over food.

Relative to the behavior problem, you're probably going to need professional assistance, because of the patterns you've developed in your interactions with your daughter. It's important to set reasonable and consistent limits and to enforce those limits. It's also critical not to give way in the face of your daughter's protestations.

If you utilize the SEARCH function in this Forum, you'll see many entries about behavior management, time out, oppositional children, etc. I think you'll be able to learn some things from those replies. It might be worth a look.