My 4-year-old currently goes to preschool, and has since she was 18-months old. Up until recently, all the feedback I have ever received about her has been very positive - smart, loving, mature for her age, great with other kids. A few months ago, though, say some really meant things to her sister (who is 8 and very sensitive), much worse than the usual sticking her tongue out or repeating what her sister says all the time. Things like "You arent as pretty as I am", and "Mommy loves me more than you." I was horrified, and disciplined her appropriately (first talked to her about it, made her apologize, then went to time outs, groundings and spankings. I dont take this lightly). I asked her afternoon teacher if she sees this behavior, and she said yes, she has to talk to her about it every day. There is one girl in particular who adores my daughter and follows her around everywhere. My daughter finds her annoying and has no qualms telling her so. Ive talked to her about this (usually by the time I hear about it it is too late for spankings, etc.) and give her language to use, and I prep her before school about ways to talk to this girl. I regularly talk to her teachers about it, too, and try to work in tandem with them. They keep telling me this is not unusual, that it is better she learn how to manage this now. But Im horrified. I dont know where she is getting this behavior (I dont think I am social enough for it to be from me, but Im not ruling that out. And we closely watch her TV intake and shows). What else can I do to stop this? ARe there other things I need to worry about?
Listen carefully to the teachers - they have a good vantage point and see this with some perspective. Maintain your equanimity and continue to both set limits when you daughter is treating others unreasonable and guide your daughter about what you expect.
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