My 4 year old wont behave or listen.

My son is a good kid and has a good heart, but he does the same bad behaviors every day. I feel like I spend almost all day every day disciplining him or the same things. I've tried to maintain a schedule with him no matter what the day presents. I'm home with him 24/7 so I feel like what I'm doing should have more of an effect. I've tried everything from time outs to a swat on the butt, but it seems no sooner is the punishment over that he's right back at it. I try and start every day as if it's not the 100th time he's done these things and explain to him why he shouldn't do these things and have even had him repeat me so I know he listened and it still does not matter. The rare occasion that we have a good morning with few incidents, it all goes out the window when my husband comes home. My husband walks in wanting to love on his son and spend time with him and my son is rude to him and acts out towards him. We try have separate time with him as well as doing things as a family, but it often results in us leaving because of his behavior. We had to cut out naps some time ago because it only mad his behavior worse and bed time non existent. Since then he is in bed at 7 after his bed time routine and does not give much trouble in going to bed if any, but I am concerned that he is up by 6 or earlier no matter what time he goes to bed (we've had a late night here and there) because I've read he should be getting 12-14 hours of sleep. Some nights I sit down and cry because I don't know what to do to get him to listen and behave, and his actions are only getting worse as well as the way he mouths off to me. I'm afraid to send him to school this year, in fear that they will say they can't handle him ether. He is super active, but it's not impossible to get him to sit down and do something but if it's challenging he doesn't want anything to do with it no matter how much you encourage him to try.

[RockRose]

When I had boys that age,  we went out every single day for a physical activity.  Swimming,  going to the park,  the children's museum,  playgroups,  gatherings with friends,  McDonald's outdoor playscape etc.

They were activities were nothing was off limits (except hitting or other aggression obviously).  Climbing,  running,  jumping,  shouting - these were places where the children really couldn't break any rules - because there weren't any rules.  So for several hours a day the kids were free to exert themselves physically and "run their sillies out" as we said.   We even had circumstances where they could set fires with a magnifying glass in a fire pan - and yes,  boys DO eventually get bored playing with fire.  ;D  

Early on an older mother told me to try hard to find a way to say "yes" instead of "no".  For example,  yes you can throw rocks.  "Take your rocks over there and throw them at that target,  see how many hits you can get,  away from the kids who aren't throwing rocks".  

Does it sound like that kind of freedom might help your son reign it in a little better when he's home?