My 4 yr Son is Aggressive

[Stormy68]

My 4 yr old is aggressive for no reason some times. He will go up and hit other kids, take away toys, pull hair. He will not stay in time out.But then other days he is perfect. We have had him allergy tested-no major allergies. He has been evaluated by the school district and they found him to be normal. A little more intelligent the normal. We are trying to stop the behavior. We have put him in his room, taken away toys, no TV and it still does not stop it. There have been no major life changes.
Any ideas? I just want him to be able to stay in this day-care and to make friends. He has been kicked out of two others because of his behavior. And frankly I am tired of feeling like all I do is punish him. We go above an beyond to praise him when he does good things. We quit calling him baby.

[erinty]

My son is 5 and he is very aggressive.  I try to tell my son to use his words when he is angry and say things like I am angry right now leave me alone, or I am angry because..........Also i am trying to teach him to seperate himself from the situation like if he's playing with kids outside and something sets him off he will come inside and talk to me and i will tell the other kids he is mad right now he needs a little time anad then in a bit he is ready to play again.  I find that a lot of my sons aggression is anxiety based so maybe you could see if there are particular things that set your son off and try to avoid them

[Yellie01]

first you are not alone- I have a 3/12 year old with which I continue to struggle with his aggressive behavior. Hitting, throwing, biting, kicking. Like you we have tried similar techniques to help but with only little effect.  It has helped us to be consistent and remain very calm and low key when we have responded to his aggression and trying to point out using simple terms what may have triggered his behavior.  He also responds very well with stories and books so I have searched the library and purchased a few good stroies that talk about anger and aggression (Joy Berry books have been great). We also have been doing alot of role playing (since at this age they enjoy using their immagination) diffrent ways to express himself or cope with his frustration/anger.  He has occasionally been able to mimic and use those techniques and we have given lots of praise when he does but it still continues to be a challenge for him.  I am just hoping that this approach will eventually pay off and I will keep an eye to see what other comments you receive.