My 4 yr old has some issues HELP ME

My 4 year old son is a very bright little boy extremely independent. he has seperation issues with just me. he has to sleep with me and my husband at night and constantly has to have atleast his foot touching me. if i get out of bed at 3 am he is out of bed. he also is extremely obsessive about how his food is. if i give him a hamburger on a bun and the bun has a crack. he loses his mind. if he has a poptart and a corner breaks off he will not eat it. no matter what. if at dinner time if his mac n cheese touches his corn. his dinner is ruined he wont eat for the rest of the night. some poeple say he is very spoiled but i think there is some kind of underlying problem. i just dont know what. he is very stubborn. when he wants something he wants it now. or he has a complete meltdown for hours. i dont know what to do. or if i should have him evaluated. where should I go from here?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You absolutely should have him evaluated. He is showing signs of anxiety disorder and behavior disorder and, at the very least, you need some help with how to manage him. It's important that you stop permitting him to sleep with you. You are in charge of that decision and he will not change this of his own accord. For a helpful reference, consult Richard Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem. Re: managing stubborn behavior, read Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents.