My 5 year old SNIFFS girls butts and gets erections-PLEASE HELP!
WOW! So here's a little back ground info. Mother of 4 boys. Married 8 years to their father. I am the oldest of 9 children myself, 8 girls, 1 boy. We are all very religious, strong family ties. Etc... Husband was diagnosed with Asperger's disorder a couple years back and so was my second son. My second son is 5 years old and has a history of sensory issues (being on the autism spectrum, sensory issues are common, my 22 year old sister is low-functioning autistic and has many sensory issues). Well my son LOVES skin. Always has since he was a child. when he was 2 he would try to rub his face on ANY large surface of skin. i.e., husbands back, my butt(it has been larger and smaller- hey I've had 4 kids!) bellies, backs, large breasts, ANYTHING SKIN he loves it. THATS pretty normal autism spectrum behavior. Well a couple years ago when he was three he started asking to "get in butt" WEIRD stuff. Basically he wanted (and asked politely) if he could rub his body on your butt. Heaven help me, because we tried SO hard to hammer into him that it was UNACCEPTABLE behavior and he didn't get it. So we monitored closely, hammered some more, summer was over, and he stopped. YAY. Fast Forward to the summer he was 4 (last summer) and HE STARTS doing it AGAIN. OH and I forgot to mention that EACH time he has these episodes, he has an erection and he would NOT stop pestering the person, and would frantically grab at his penis. Some people thought he was joking, etc... every single one of them were girls, but he does it to older girls, like my sisters friends, etc... (14 etc...) after a horrible summer with ups and downs (some days he wouldnt do it at all, other days he had ahard time keeping it down) He again STOPPED the behavior and forgot about it. I was just talking to my friend a week and a half ago saying i was so glad he didnt do that anymore when low and behold the next week it became summer vacation and GIRLS BUTTS are everywhere, including my scantily clad 26 year old model sister who he did not like before summer and he now is obsessed. I have SEEN him walk up and try to SNIFF her butt without her seeing. When I confront him he has a major erection. When I talked to him about it (while he was getting in the bath) I asked him why he likes to smell butts and he says it just smells so good, "kinda like food, like Chinese food and bacon" "I just like it" when I asked him why it made his penis grow he said he didnt know. He has NEVER been to daycare, only been in the care of trusted family members. We are VERY cautious about molestation because my 22 year old sister has been sexually abused by an adopted sibling and we have been on high alert since before Cameron (5 year old) was even born. We do not watch explict movies, we monitor what they watch and what we allow in our home. I know some of this is sensory, but the combination of smelling a private area with a resulting erection is very troubling to me. We keep talking to him about this and had another incident. He tried to sniff a friends butt today (clothed) and his older brother told on him. (we dont allow him to be alone with anyone) After we sat down with him (for the 100th time) both me and my husband, he talked about how he just wants to do it so bad and wants to pull down peoples (girls) pants and smell there bottoms. WEIRD STUFF. anyone ever heard of this??
Ya, definitely weird. But kids with sensory issues do weird things. And this is a 5 year old, who by definition will do weird things anyway. It may be that this is a part of his sensory issues which can be treated. Keep in mind that sensory perception disorder is a relatively new thing, and many docs don't recognize it or mistake it for ADHD or Autism. It is something that can be treated by an occupational therapist (and a lot of home therapy suggested by the OT). We have a SPD forum here (called SID or sensory integration disorder) that has Specialmom as its CL. She has a son with SPD, and at around 4 or 5 was really having problems. She got help and did a lot at home and the child is now doing very well. Point being - repeat your post here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Sensory-Integration-Disorder-SID/show/1396 And see what she thinks. From reading her posts and my own research into SPD, I am thinking that this is more a matter of dealing with his sensory issues then him being some kind of a sex thingy? And, I can guarantee you that your life (and his) will get a lot better by learning ways that kids with sensory issues can deal with their problems. Let me know if you have any questions.
I have a hard time seeing that too but it is a pattern that children that have been sexually abused have. I would try to uncover if this boy has seen anything or been through anything.
The smelling of butts, identifying specific people and wanting to rub on them as a sexual object that leads to arousal is where it drifts from sensory. Sensory would seek sensation but it is that sexual connection between things that worries me.
I tend to agree, and to suspect some kind of exposure to things he relates to as sexual. Do you completely have no concerns about all family members in relation to this child? I hate to say it, but often people who are religious (which you mention about yourself) are too trusting of other people who are religious.
I really don't know about the sexual connection. It sounds like this started when he was two if your read the start of her post. I guess my main question (since I really can't deal or help with how it got started) - is will a child with sensory issues fixate on something? And, if so, what can you do to break or change the fixation?
Not on the sensory side but on the autistic side there can be fixations. My son might seek a sensation but this experience is different than that in my opinion. I'm not sure how severe his autism is but it does sound to be a major factor in his ability to control this.
The 'get butt' comingled with rubbing and an erection is sexual in nature in my opinion and I would investigate the origin of it.
The smelling of the butt and the comment on how it smells, to me does not sound sexual. I remember not being particularly grossed out, when a small child, by the smell of poop. (I smelled it a lot with my younger sisters in diapers.) I can remember when I realized that I thought their poop smelled bad but mine did not, which I thought (even at the time) ironically amusing. From that, when thinking of this post this week, I have to assume that something happens inherently as a person grows, their body begins to tell them that the smell of poop is no simply a fact of life but also repellent or undesirable. And that maybe her son is not at that point yet in his development. But the connection to erection and the insistence on almost attacking ladies' butts, that does sound obsessive at the very least and like the kid has developed some kind of sexualized quality to it either from something he has seen (like on the screen), or something he has been exposed to in a different way (like by a person). I would suggest to the poster that she have her son see a child therapist who is experienced in autism and obsessive-compulsive stuff, and maybe also an O.T. Once the child gets some work going for other issues, the links in his brain might connect more and he would be less compulsive about this.
I agree--- it's the erection from this that is truly worrisome. I do think it is odd that a child asks for 'butt' with the intention of rubbing on it. That is sexualized behavior. The statement of wanting to pull down girls pants and smell their bottom (girls specifically).
I'm not sure what type of therapy he is getting for his autism and sensory but I would talk about this with professionals and especially a psychologist. Sooner rather than later.
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