My 5 year old acting different.....

[bip]

My son conner just turned 5 hes in full time kinderkarden.  He been acting very different lately since he started school.  I think something is bothering him and I dont know what is wrong with him.  Everyday I pick him up @  school and bring him there. When I pick him up from school I asked him how was school he doesnt answer me.  I asked him if he met new friends he said ya. He tells me he doesnt like his new teacher.  I asked him why he says I dont like her.  I try to sit down and talk to him but he just ignores me. I dont know if Im over reacting but I can tell something is not right with him and Im trying to see what is going on in school but he wont talk.  This is a new thing to him going to school all day big adjustment. He just seems not right to me he seems upset when he gets home.

Thanks Ladies.....

[April2]

I think it's time to talk to his teacher. Give her a call and ask if you can set up an appointment with her. Then go over your concerns with her and ask her if she's noticed anything with him and how he's interacting in class and with his classmates.
It could be he just needs time to adjust. Did he go to preschool last year? If not, this may just all be a bit overwhelming to him being in a classroom environment, being expected to sit down and listen to a teacher. He may just need time to adjust. Kindergarden is a big adjustment to most kids. I remember my daughter crying every morning when I dropped her off. I felt terrible! This went on for at least a month, I think. She just had a really hard time adjusting and wanted to be with me. After awhile she started to make friends and started to enjoy going to school. Go ahead and talk to his teacher though and see what she says. I've learned over the years to keep in close contact with my kids teachers. They see things we don't. I've really had my eyes opened to a lot through teachers.
Just my thoughts! Take care and let us know how things go.

[laura1977]

I understand first hand what you are going through.  My daughter also started kindergaten this year.  I have always stayed home with my kids, so they never had to go to daycare, and it was hard the first two weeks of school for my daughter.  She wasn't use to being away for so long.  On the other hand she is doing really well now and is happy when I pick her up and tells me everything that happened that day.  She also loves her teacher.
Last year in pre school was a different thing though.  All of a sudden she was unhappy and didn't want to go.  It didn't add up and I knew as her mother that something was off.  I showed up at the pre school 40 minutes early and waited in the hallway where the teacher couldn't see me or my daughter couldn't see me.  I found out first hand why my daughter was unhappy.  That teacher had two sides to her, the nice side when the parents were around, and then the side of her that my daugher saw after we left.  She yelled at the kids ALOT and turns out that many parents had complained about the teacher.  
I fully think that a teacher should stand their ground and be able to repremend a child, but this teacher went above and beyond what was okay.  You must do some looking into this matter because you obivously have a gut feeling that something isn't right.

[April2]

That's a good idea, Laura. I didn't think of that. Maybe it would be a good idea for Bip to go early and watch without the teacher seeing to see how she acts in the classroom and to see how her son is acting. Great idea! I remember one time I walked through my kids elementay school to bring something in one day and walked past a classroom and heard a loud voice. I paused to listen and was surprised and upset to see how the teacher was talking to the students. It wasn't one of my kids teachers, I think it was a 5th grade teacher. He was talking to them in a sarcastic way which was very disturbing to me. I know I don't talk to my kids that way and I'm sure the other parents would have been upset to hear him talking that way.
There was another time (Boy Laura, you sure brought up some memories now! :), when I walked into my son's classroom to bring in cupcakes for his birthday and I was surprised to hear the teacher talking to him in what I felt was a bilittling way. It was recess and she and he were the only ones in the classroom. She was making him scoot around and pick up tiny pieces of paper on the floor as a punishment for something, but it was the way she was talking to him that bothered me. My son always had a hard time sitting still in school and concentrating and was always getting in trouble. His teachers kept wanting him to be put on Ritalin. He was tested at reading at an 11th grade level in 5th grade, so I think he was just very bright and bored. Now he is 19 and in college and still very bright and well read, a good kid! Fortunately, he didn't seem too traumatized by some bad teachers in his life. Still, you are totally correct. You have to stay on top and watch the teacher, watch your child and be very involved in their life, in and out of school. Good point!

[laura1977]

The one thing that makes me nervous about my daughters teacher this year is she is 25 and going through a bad divorce right now.  I understand that it's part of life, but last week when I dropped my daughter off, it was a Monday, and I asked her teacher if she was okay because you could just tell she had been crying.  She said she had a long hard weekend because of her soon to be ex.  Then it turns out she also has a second job that she goes to after school.  I feel very bad for her, but I wonder if it is going to have any affect on the way she teaches???  Kindergaten is such an important year of learning and I hope this teacher gets her stuff straight.
My daughter Mattie seems to think her teacher is great so as long as she is coming home happy and learning I'm alright.
The first day was another story.  Mattie wanted to ride the bus home that day because she is very independant.  Well she came home and turns out a 5th grade girl was picking on her and sat on her back pack and wouldn't get off it.  My daughter started crying and said that she wasn't suppose to talk to strangers (she thought the girl was an adult because she said she had a chest like mommys)  haha
Well next day I went to pick her up from school and I talked to the bus driver about what had happened.  The bus driver wasn't driving the bus the day it happened because she has a sub a couple of days a week.  She did find out and it turned out to be a big misunderstanding.  
I'll tell you what April, I can remember some of the horrible teachers I had in school.  Wanna hear something funny though.  My senior year in high school, I had the meanest old lady for a teacher you could have ever imagined.  She picked on me so much, and my parents even talked to her about it.  Heres the funny part.  I learned more from that teacher then I had ever learned from another teacher.  I got easy A's in college because of her.  I wish I could've seen her again to tell her thank you.

[bip]

Laural 1977- That is a good idea I will go in earlier and find out how the teachers are with out the parents not being there. I remember when my older son was in kinderkarden I went in the class the teacher didnt even know I was there Kenny pat someone on the shoulder and said bye the teacher went up to Kenny put her hand on his shoulder and said  you  dont touch put your hand on anyone. My eyes popped out I looked right @ her she was shocked I said you dont ever raise your voice @ my son again who do you think you are?  I went to the principal   I was so mad and the principal said Im sorry Ill talk to her.

April2-  Thank you Ill defintalty make a meeting with the teachers do you know its pretty sad teachers act like this and we cant trust them.

[laura1977]

What I have found that is sad is that at my daughters school they don't want parents to come into the school to drop the kids off and pick up.  The children are suppose to sit in front of their lockers without opening them till the bell rings, then they get up and put their stuff in their locker and go to their class room.  Hahaha  I love it that they actually think that I am not going to walk into that school to drop off my daughter....... hehe they must think I am stupid or something.  You know I still do it and so do another handful of parents.  Most parents listen, but I don't because my daughter is only 5 years old and I am going to walk her to her class in the morning so I know she is there and safe.  Heck if something happened I wouldn't be called by the school till 10am that my daughter isn't in class.  That is about 2 hours that something could happen.  
Always remember take the schools rules to heart, but you don't always have to listen to every single one of them......

[bip]

I know what you mean I forgot to mention usually they pick up the kids in front of the schools the teachers are there. We were running a little late this morning. I brought Conner in the school and a teacher came up to me and said Ill take him to the classroom I said NO Ill take him to the class. She said you dont have to I said ya I know but I want to and I have every right bringing him and dropping him off. Conner said no I want my mommy to take me she backed off and said ok.  I was so upset.

My older son just started middle school I wanted to see how the school is and meet with his teachers the ladie in the front gave me a hard time I said excuse me I have every right come in here and look @ the school. Gets me so upset.  I do go by rules but when it comes down to my boyz I dont.  You were saying you caught a teacher yelling @ the classroom?

[laura1977]

Yeah last year when my 5 year old was in pre school she wasn't acting right, and she didn't want to go to school anymore.  Turns out the teacher was yelling at them more then norm.  
Heres another idea for ya, that my parents used on us kids growing up.  Make up a secret word or number that only you and your family knows.  Tell your kids this secret thing, and tell them that if anyone tells them they are suppose to pick them up because mommy and daddy can't they are to tell them the secret word, and if they don't know it they aren't to get into the car with them.  
I think it is funny that when school started I had to put down all the names of the people that were allowed to pick up my daughter and who isn't.  I put down the names that could and I put no one else on who couldn't.  Heres the thing I don't understand, that paper goes into their file in the office, the teacher doesn't see it so how on earth does that work?

[bip]

Thanks for your help.  I hope everything is well with you both.

[bip]