My 5 year old boy

[Linda_Furr]

Hello,
   I have a 5 year old boy who does not want to listen to anyone especially females it seems like, he listens to his daddy better then he does anyone else. He is also having trouble listenong to his teacher(s) at school, he can also be aggressive at school. He is also at home and at school very argumentive with adults even with othe kids. There has been numerous times that he is literally almost been bouncing off the walls. The teacher doesn't really complain about hyperactivity at school, it is mainly aggression,not listening and argumentive. We have tried everything it seems like. We've tried time out, taking toys and books away along with grounding him to his room, sending him to bed early, not buying him toys if he's been bad. Also there has been times he was good we would reward him with a toy and every time he would start to act up again that very day within minutes it seems like,and we would take the toy back. It just seems like nothing fazes him,oh, and we also tried spankings. Please help.

[SL345]

May I ask why you feel you need to have tried everything before you try counseling? By all measures, it seems as though you've tried a lot. What makes you want to avoid it?

[Linda_Furr]

I'm not real sure on where he picked up that he can argue with adults, I mean he has seen other adults argue with each other, i guess that is where he could have picked that up or maybe he picked it up at school considering he didn't start doing that until he started preschool. We have also acted outraged and infuriated and embarressed, but that don't seem to have a long term effect on him. He doesn't call all adults by mr or mrs just his school authorities. We are trying to get him to say sir or ma'am, and he does on a very slight occassion or whenever we remind him, but I will start to inforce the mr and ms idea. If you have anymore ideas please do not hesitate to give them out. We are trying to avoid counseling though, we want to make sure we try everything before we get to that point.

[SL345]

Try getting him into counseling with someone who is knowledgeable about oppositional and defiant kids.

[RockRose]

I'm curious,  where does he get the idea that he can argue with adults?

In the past,  when you've witnessed him arguing with adults,  what has happened?

I don't think giving toys/removing toys works at all.  Acting OUTRAGED and embarrassed and infuriated at that behavior works.

Does he call all adults by Mr and Mrs,  or does have a familiar behavior of being allowed to call them by their first names and perceiving them as equals?

I'm just kind of guessing here,  and suggesting.  I don't know you but when I see kids who argue with adults,  it seems usually the parents don't make it very clear that with adults in authority,  you are to appear to respect them.