My 5 yo got kicked out of a camp.

[AnnaGracesmom]

I cannot believe I am writing this. But it is what it is. I am just trying to understand what are we doing wrong with our little girl. She is very lovely and loving, but outspoken and very much has her own opinion about everything.
The situation is: we are a military family and spent the last 3 years overseas. For the last 2 years she has being attending an international pre-school in Ankara where they used the Montessori system. She was happy there, had a lot of friends and was involved in all school's activities. In June children and I had to come back to US, our son is going to college and I had to help him to deal with that transition.
As we came back I noticed that she became more restless, needy and demanding. I thought it was due to the separation anxiety with her dad, the move back to US and the luck of the company of the kinds her age. I found local Montessori school that was running summer camp of art for 5-7 years olds. I signed her up, explained them the situation about our move and the difficulties I was having with the kids adjusting or rather not adjusting to the American life.
Yesterday when I was picking her up from the camp her teacher complained that Anna was talking during the class, not following the directions. I talked to my daughter , and she promised to pay attention and listen to the teacher. Today when I came over the director of the school had my girl in her office, she gave me Anna's crafts, reimbursement for the camp and asked me not to come back tomorrow. The only thing she explained that Anna was talking , not taking the directions and her teacher couldn't deal with her. That's it. When I asked her to explain me what exactly my child did so terribly wrong to be kicked out of the school, she said " Sorry, I  cannot help you. Bye!" I am devastated and really don't know how to react. I know she is talkative and used to run the show , but now I am afraid that I am missing some signs of the possible future troubles.  

[tejodouro]

First, thank you for the work that your husband does in the military. Second, it is normal for kids to have a hard time dealing with major life changes( do not get worried).  Third, the way this school handled the situation is not normal.  It is clear that they do not want to deal with problems.  They want your money and they want the kid to be easy. Find another summer camp where your daughter can talk, have fun and send her to that camp.  Maybe something outdoors with the Girl Scouts of America.  I am not sure why you sent her to a Moutessori camp. This method of education does not sound as a fun method for a summer camp.  Send her to a camp where she can go hike, swim, do crafts, archery and such.  Good luck and blessings for your family.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Without more details it is hard for you to know exactly what to do. Suffice it to say that of course your daughter should do what she is told by teachers, including not taalking when she is supposed to be quiet. She is going through a time of change, even turmoil, so it is not surprising she would be unsettled. Her behavior sounds like it can be manged without much difficulty by a school willing to tackle it. This school sounds like it has pretty thin skin and not do the job they are paid to do by parents such as you.

[AnnaGracesmom]

Thank you very much for your answer.

I sent her there because :

1. I honestly thought that being in the familiar environment of the Montessori school with the same learning materials it would be easier for her to adjust.

2. If we are coming back to US this fall ( we still don't have our orders and we don't know where we are going to live next), I was planning to find the similar school for her to start a kindergarten, so again I thought that starting with a camp in the potential future school would be a good idea.

3. Besides 2 reasons above, I really didn't have time to do any research before we had to leave Ankara. We had to change plans very sudden and come back earlier then we had planned before. So, yes, it's my fault I haven't research them a little bit better.

As to trying another camp, I think I will pass on that. I renewed our YMCA membership and she is having gymnastics and ballet there , and on top of that we have less than a month left to be here before  she and I are flying back and she most likely won't see her brothers until October if not later, so I want all of them to spend some time together.

[AnnaGracesmom]

Thank you for the answer. I really appreciate it, today was very hurtful and heartbreaking for me. It is exactly my problem, that i don't know what had happened and I was not given any explanations. We are not talking about some juvenal drug abuser, it's not yet 5 years old girl, who just came back from spending 3 years ( more than half of her life) in another country. Her whole word has been changed , she is missing her dad, her dog, her house and her toys, and most of all she is really missing her friends. She is worried about her upcoming birthday , that none of her friends are going to be here for her 5-th birthday party. And now this thing. I just had to explain to her that she wouldn't be coming back to the camp, and she said " Mommy, but I Can talk to the teacher and tell her I am sorry and she will let me be with my friends." Apparently, they were doing some crafts and teacher told them to clean it and while Anna was picking her mess up one of the kids distracted her and they were laughing and the teacher blamed Anna for the distraction and send her to the principal office. Anna told me that she got very scared that teacher would be angry with her and tried to explain to the teacher that she wasn't the one who had started but the teacher didn't want to listen and just sent her away. I guess her only problem was that she had tried to explain herself,  but it's just what I got from my very upset daughter and have no facts from the school. I am not one of that mothers who is blindly seeing their kids as a perfect, never wrong creatures, seriously: I 've been through teen's ages with two older ones. At the same time I am trying to build trust and support system with them and also we talk in the family , all the time, kids are talking and we are listening, or wise versa. The situation like this puts me in the situation where i don't know what to do. I want to trust my child and when she is telling me that she wasn't the one who started a mess without the words from the other side I will stick with what I have- the words of my daughter.