My 6 Year old will not stay in bed

[kellyh68]

My 6 year old son will not go to sleep at night unless I lay down with him in his bed until he falls asleep. Then in the middle of the night he wakes up atleast once and again will not go back to sleep unless I lay down with him. We've tried everything. I've even put him on a rewards system where he earns things he wants which worked for 5 nights and now he's back to his old ways. He always tells me he is too scared but he has a nightlight in his room, in the hall and in his bathroom.  Please help, I need my sleep and more importantly so does he!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This situation will improve only if you alter your behavior. To the degree that you can stop accomodating your son's request, you'll see improvement. You've got to bite the bullet, tell him to remain in his bed and fall asleep on his own. Now, in order to accomplish this, you can wean him from the current plan. You do this by sitting by his bed for a few days, then sitting in the doorway for a few days, then sitting outside the room for a few days, etc. Basically, without intending to, you have created this problem, as many parents do. Children do not need their parents to lay down with them at night. It encourages a bad habit that is then hard to break. It's not so much the child who has to change, it's us.

[jade1121]

i more or less slept in my mother's bed from age 6-10 (i am 21 now); i would usually start in my own bed and then just go quietly to my mom's bed in the night when i woke up. i wasn't really scared, but i used that as the excuse for not feeling safe in my own bed.in the end, she put her foot down and disallowed me from coming into her room at night, making me sleep in the hall by her doorway, but no closer. frankly, the hall was scarier than my room. it worked eventually, but it was really horrible. i think if my mom had stopped it earlier, it would have been so much easier on the both of us. put your foot down now.