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My 6 year old says she was molested by her cousin
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My 6 year old says she was molested by her cousin

my 6 year old daughter says her 13 year old cousin molested her, the cousin swears she made it up, and the parents agree, they say she is 6 years old and makes up stuff, even though she was very specific about the details, and is a smart and articulate girl.
they want to talk to her, i said that it would only harm her more.
should i get a lie detector test?
what is the best way to move forward?  
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6 Comments
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242606_tn?1243786248
You should focus on your daughter and how she is doing. It would be prudent to have her see a pediatric mental health professional for the purpose of making sure she is OK from an emotional point of view after what allegedly occurred. If her cousin's parents are dismissing the possibility that the behavior occurred there is really nothing you can do about it. It's best not to dwell on it or continue to focvus on it because it will only serve to exacerbate tensions. If the behavior occurred, the 13 y.o. needs help, but it's not within your domain to see that it happens. It is her parents' responsibility and they do not appear to be moving in that direction. You always have the option of reporting the episode to the local child welfare officials, and your report might well prompt an investigation. You can call the agency and discuss the situation with them for the purpose of obtaining their guidance. Absolutely do not move in the direction of lie detector test - that would produce no benefit at all. Again, put your energy into your daughter's wellbeing.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you, the idea of the lie detector test is, that if the 13 year old was to fail then they would believe that it did happen and get the necassary help for their child and prove that this was not just a made up story by a 6 year old.
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Avatar_m_tn
you should report this, if you dont, you could be charged with a misdeamenor...  child endangerment.  i want you to know that most people live in denial regarding child sexual abuse.  less than 1/2 of 1% of children lie about being abused they are usually the children that are being coexed by the parenting they are living with so that parent can get full custody...  your daughter did not lie...  she is to young to make up such stories.  you must let her know that you believe her, if you dont she will never ever tell you anything again.. you dont want this.  she came to you because she felt horrible and needed your support.
this 13 year old needs help, i wouldnt doubt this child has been abused as well.  and if he/she has siblings in the house you can guarantee it is happening in the house as well.  they need to be protected.
my son was abused by a neighbor,  the parents of course denied it and said my child was lieing and that it was a figment of his imagination... yeah right.  i pressed charges and the perp never even rec'vd a slap on the hand.  but i will tell you this, my son is a stronger individual because i believed him.... because i supported him and pulled him through the merk,  the abuser,  im sure has continued his abuse and there are other victims... you dont want this for your girl or your nephew/niece.... report it.
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Avatar_f_tn
I worked in a Rape Crisis Centre for many years, dealing with adult survivors.

How could a six year old know the details of sexual abuse?  I have a six year old daughter, there is no way your little girl iis making this up.  

Believe her , not being believed is the most hurtful thing.

You should thank God that she told you, and keep her in safety.
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757137_tn?1347200053
The parents of the 13-year-old may believe their son molested your daughter, but deny it because that would make it public, and a stigma would attach to the boy. I would suspect they are watching him more closely, even if they don't quite believe you.
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1343349_tn?1276229418
Report it (so that he doesn't hurt any more kids -and he will!) and get your daughter into therapy (to help her deal with all of her feelings and hurt from this).
I say this as a survivor of child sexual abuse. You are right to believe that your daughter wouldn't make it up. Where would a 6 year old get that idea from? Of course the cousin would say she made it up. In fact, that's usually a threat the abuser makes "Everyone will think you made it up". And the parents don't want to admit that their child would do such a thing.
The most important thing, though, is that you are believing your daughter and you are there for her and getting her help.
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