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My 6yr old boy is able to do work in the classroom but only with the teacher
I am desperate. My 6 year old boy is at Kindy. He loves school and loves his teacher and misses her when on holidays. He knows his numbers, his sounds, his sight words. He can do a lot of stuff. However, some days are better than others. His teacher knows he's capable of doing things, specially his writing. He knows his nouns, verbs and adjectives and uses conjunctions; but sometimes he just writes a sentence starting with a noun followed by a verb and just doesn't want to do the rest even though he's capable of doing it. His teacher sat down next to him and said that he has been on that for too long, and he needs to keep on going and she asked him what would come next in his writing, and he told her what he thought, and then she said that it was fine and he should write it down. Then he just did scribbles and scribbles. Then she removed that paper and gave him a new one, and said to him that he could do it and ask him to write two sentences about Olivia. He wrote everything without her help. He has been doing that, or having this sort of behaviour most of the time. I don't know what to do anymore and neither his teacher can understand why he's doing this. She told me he's smart, he knows a lot and he's able to do all work she asks for, but honestly, I really do not know what to think anymore or even how to help him get out of this behaviour pattern he's putting into himself. I don't want him to drag himself down and feel sorry for himself because I know it will damage his psychological being and will get worst as years go on. Please help! I don't know what to do anymore. I thought even in getting him check out with a psychologist to see if there's anything going on that I can't pick it up. What should I do?
Thank you for all your help!
Sana
Thank you for all your help!
Sana
Best Answer
Hi Sandman, yes I will be looking at this book shortly. Thank you for your support too.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Just a reminder, the book I suggested - "the ADD/ADHD Answer book", has a great section on 504 ideas to help a child in the classroom. It will give you a feeling for what can be done or should be done to help him. Best wishes.
Thank you special. I agree with 100% regarding sensory sensitiveness. I also agree that some teachers just want the easier way, although medicated kids are not always the easier way to help them. There are many factors that can influence children's behaviour, and peers behaviour is one of them.
My son's teacher is awesome. I think the majority of the teachers in his school are like that; they all want the best for their students and are willing to help. The psychologist called me the other day with the results, and as we were suspecting he's very mild and we need to see her to have some strategies into place. So I am looking forward to that.
Thank you all for the amazing support!
Sana
My son's teacher is awesome. I think the majority of the teachers in his school are like that; they all want the best for their students and are willing to help. The psychologist called me the other day with the results, and as we were suspecting he's very mild and we need to see her to have some strategies into place. So I am looking forward to that.
Thank you all for the amazing support!
Sana
I agree that sitting back short term and observing is helpful. I did that too when things were not going well with my son. But I think what you mean is that you keep your eye on it and adjust some things to help the situation to see if it improves. not do nothing. To say "he's totally fine/perfect and the teacher is wrong to say anything.".
You've been proactive and I admire that.
My son has a diagnosis of sensory and takes no medication. never has. It's never been suggested to me by teachers even though sensory presents itself a lot like add/adhd. I think some would have you believe that every time your child is outside the box from others, that teachers want to medicate them. I don't think that is the case. Sure, there are some teachers that want something done just to make their job easier but many are really invested in helping the child.
I think you've done a fantastic job. You did not bury your head in the sand and just believe it was going to get better on its own. But you worked with the teacher and your son and improvement is shown. That's really awesome!! THAT is what I talk about when I say we are our children's advocate. Good work mom! And it does sound like you have a great teacher for your son as well. :>)
You've been proactive and I admire that.
My son has a diagnosis of sensory and takes no medication. never has. It's never been suggested to me by teachers even though sensory presents itself a lot like add/adhd. I think some would have you believe that every time your child is outside the box from others, that teachers want to medicate them. I don't think that is the case. Sure, there are some teachers that want something done just to make their job easier but many are really invested in helping the child.
I think you've done a fantastic job. You did not bury your head in the sand and just believe it was going to get better on its own. But you worked with the teacher and your son and improvement is shown. That's really awesome!! THAT is what I talk about when I say we are our children's advocate. Good work mom! And it does sound like you have a great teacher for your son as well. :>)
We need to remember here is that just sitting back and observing is a good method in the short term. The problem is more about when the teacher implements strategies/learning strategies that other kids can do and there is one kid who do not respond to it. When this happens very often, then there's a problem.
I am in favor of medication ONLY and ONLY in really severe cases where a child, doesn't matter what age, can hard himself or others; not that the child means to, but it is just a situation that can get out of control and immediate intervention with the parents, teacher and psychologists can help.
Since strategies have been into place, my son has been responding well; he is more focused now. Of course there is times when he wants to shift away, but as soon as the teacher reinforces her strategies, he gets back on track and get everything done. Frustration for not being able complete the tasks in classroom have a risk of developing severe self-esteem which then effect learning, self confidence, and in most cases withdrawing from learning. This can only be avoided if early intervention is into place. It is not about only sitting back and observe, but having specific strategies that help kids with AD/HD be confident and do well at school.
Also it is important to make sure if it happens regularly in the classroom and at home. The sooner you suspect something is not quite right you need to take action, and this is for any health condition.
I am proud of what I did, and I am proud to see my son finally getting his work done and most importantly feeling proud of his achievements. It is priceless when your son comes back home with a big smile saying "I did it! I finish all my work and I was the superstar today. I can do it." These were the words of my son.
Sana
I am in favor of medication ONLY and ONLY in really severe cases where a child, doesn't matter what age, can hard himself or others; not that the child means to, but it is just a situation that can get out of control and immediate intervention with the parents, teacher and psychologists can help.
Since strategies have been into place, my son has been responding well; he is more focused now. Of course there is times when he wants to shift away, but as soon as the teacher reinforces her strategies, he gets back on track and get everything done. Frustration for not being able complete the tasks in classroom have a risk of developing severe self-esteem which then effect learning, self confidence, and in most cases withdrawing from learning. This can only be avoided if early intervention is into place. It is not about only sitting back and observe, but having specific strategies that help kids with AD/HD be confident and do well at school.
Also it is important to make sure if it happens regularly in the classroom and at home. The sooner you suspect something is not quite right you need to take action, and this is for any health condition.
I am proud of what I did, and I am proud to see my son finally getting his work done and most importantly feeling proud of his achievements. It is priceless when your son comes back home with a big smile saying "I did it! I finish all my work and I was the superstar today. I can do it." These were the words of my son.
Sana
I guess if I didn't see first hand the harm that sitting back and waiting does to a child, I would wonder if that wasn't the right course of action. But since I have, I feel confident that helping parents address concerns head on and proactively gives kids the best chance to overcome difficulties.
That doesn't mean I believe in medicating every 3 year old who is hyper. But I do believe a prudent parent pulls information from all sources to evaluate when is the appropriate time to look deeper into what is going on with their child. Including teachers and how well a child does compared to their peers.
And guess what? It is a lot harder to have a school jump on board with a diagnosis of any sort with kids. They do their own evaluations over what you do privately and one part that must be proven is that a child's struggles affect their academic progress. That makes sense to me. Progress doesn't always mean doing as the brightest in the class does but if a child can't keep up at all and is noticeably behind, it has to be addressed.
Anyway, off track from the poster. Sorry.
I think you are doing a fantastic job being proactive and I would venture a guess that all will be fine because of it. peace
That doesn't mean I believe in medicating every 3 year old who is hyper. But I do believe a prudent parent pulls information from all sources to evaluate when is the appropriate time to look deeper into what is going on with their child. Including teachers and how well a child does compared to their peers.
And guess what? It is a lot harder to have a school jump on board with a diagnosis of any sort with kids. They do their own evaluations over what you do privately and one part that must be proven is that a child's struggles affect their academic progress. That makes sense to me. Progress doesn't always mean doing as the brightest in the class does but if a child can't keep up at all and is noticeably behind, it has to be addressed.
Anyway, off track from the poster. Sorry.
I think you are doing a fantastic job being proactive and I would venture a guess that all will be fine because of it. peace
You are right to have your son as your number one concern. But am looking at the larger picture. Being occasionally right does not justify being so often wrong. There is harm being done to the healthy. I don't see how that can be justified.
I recommend a more temperate approach - sitting back and quietly observing rather than making rash assumptions.
I recommend a more temperate approach - sitting back and quietly observing rather than making rash assumptions.
Hi all,
My son has improved in his concentration due to his teacher willingness to help him do well and the help he is getting at home. There are strategies into place to get him focused, and it has been working.
Adults can develop AD/HD as well. I think there are misconceptions about AD/HD, what it was when we were kids would have be seen, back then, as a "normal" kid (whatever "being normal" meant and means today), a very active kid, and a very slow kid. These categorizations now have names and normally fits into ODD, ADD, ADHD; because everything needs to have a "label" it just makes the job easier for parents and teachers to better cater for the student's needs. This is a positive way of looking at these things. Unless, of course, when severe cases of ADHD can result in harm to oneself or others, then medication is necessary.
We need to be careful with diagnosis, that's for sure, and do the best you can to help. Normally kids when adults will be able to manage themselves. My son will learn how to get focus, which will benefit him in the long run.
Sana
My son has improved in his concentration due to his teacher willingness to help him do well and the help he is getting at home. There are strategies into place to get him focused, and it has been working.
Adults can develop AD/HD as well. I think there are misconceptions about AD/HD, what it was when we were kids would have be seen, back then, as a "normal" kid (whatever "being normal" meant and means today), a very active kid, and a very slow kid. These categorizations now have names and normally fits into ODD, ADD, ADHD; because everything needs to have a "label" it just makes the job easier for parents and teachers to better cater for the student's needs. This is a positive way of looking at these things. Unless, of course, when severe cases of ADHD can result in harm to oneself or others, then medication is necessary.
We need to be careful with diagnosis, that's for sure, and do the best you can to help. Normally kids when adults will be able to manage themselves. My son will learn how to get focus, which will benefit him in the long run.
Sana
COMMUNITY LEADER
I certainly agree that one out of 10 is an high number. Parent report, the basis of the CDC data, is known to overreport the prevalence of ADHD and so it may not really be that high. So it may very well be medically unreasonable to think it is that high.
However, the clinical guidelines are very specific in stating that : "How long have the symptoms been bothering you or your child? Symptoms must have been going on for at least 6 months before ADD/ADHD can be diagnosed.
When and where do the symptoms appear? The symptoms of ADD/ADHD must be present in multiple settings, such as at home and school. If the symptoms only appear in one environment, it is unlikely that ADD/ADHD is to blame."
So if the child has be diagnosed by a doctor, then its probably not an "over-zealousness". And, "It is estimated that approximately 54% of American children with ADHD use complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) therapies."
But, none of the above really matters to the parent who knows/feels that something is not quite right and is seeking information on what that problem might be.
However, the clinical guidelines are very specific in stating that : "How long have the symptoms been bothering you or your child? Symptoms must have been going on for at least 6 months before ADD/ADHD can be diagnosed.
When and where do the symptoms appear? The symptoms of ADD/ADHD must be present in multiple settings, such as at home and school. If the symptoms only appear in one environment, it is unlikely that ADD/ADHD is to blame."
So if the child has be diagnosed by a doctor, then its probably not an "over-zealousness". And, "It is estimated that approximately 54% of American children with ADHD use complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) therapies."
But, none of the above really matters to the parent who knows/feels that something is not quite right and is seeking information on what that problem might be.
It was a teacher that put us on the right road to help our son. I wouldn't deny any parent that because of the NEW stigma regarding ADHD . . . which is that it is overdiagnosed. If a child meats the criteria, they do. And that's that.
I think teachers are in an excellent position to give us good insight into our child. And any parent that listens, responds, and helps their child is on the right track. This doesn't necessarily mean a diagnosis or medication or those things, but that they understand that there are things they need to help their child with. And yes, sometimes it is a diagnosis, medication, therapy. My son's occupational therapy changed the direction of his life into a much more positive direction. I'm eternally grateful to the teacher that spotted the things I had not consciously noticed with my son.
While I'm my son's best advocate, it would not have served him well to remain in denial and do nothing for the things that he struggled with.
I think teachers are in an excellent position to give us good insight into our child. And any parent that listens, responds, and helps their child is on the right track. This doesn't necessarily mean a diagnosis or medication or those things, but that they understand that there are things they need to help their child with. And yes, sometimes it is a diagnosis, medication, therapy. My son's occupational therapy changed the direction of his life into a much more positive direction. I'm eternally grateful to the teacher that spotted the things I had not consciously noticed with my son.
While I'm my son's best advocate, it would not have served him well to remain in denial and do nothing for the things that he struggled with.
It is teachers, who may be well-intentioned, who contribute to the over-diagnosis of ADHD. For a child who seems slightly off course, to watch and wait seems the more prudent approach. Too many of our children are suffering the results of drugs as the result of this over-zealousness. Let us not forget that that one out of every10 of our children are being categorized as having emotional/behavioral problems. This is medically unreasonable.
Hi Sano. My son also had some minor fine motor issues and it really does make them not want to write. check out some writing programs to help him along and it might improve things.
Allymymarbles, the issue is that the teacher can see he struggles verses other kids his age. That is always worthy of helping a child out with.
Allymymarbles, the issue is that the teacher can see he struggles verses other kids his age. That is always worthy of helping a child out with.
Re: Your August 24th response.
What you have described I consider to be completely normal behavior for most children. For adults too, for that matter. Were it not, then 90 per cent of us would be ADHD.
What you have described I consider to be completely normal behavior for most children. For adults too, for that matter. Were it not, then 90 per cent of us would be ADHD.
Hi Sandman2,
Thank you for your reply. I have been working on his fine motor skills. Yesterday he was the top of the class, I think the strategies have been working for him, as I have implemented some myself at home to get him focused. So far, all good. I am just waiting for his psychologist give me her final report on it. I will let you all know what is happening.
Thank you all for your support!
Sana
Thank you for your reply. I have been working on his fine motor skills. Yesterday he was the top of the class, I think the strategies have been working for him, as I have implemented some myself at home to get him focused. So far, all good. I am just waiting for his psychologist give me her final report on it. I will let you all know what is happening.
Thank you all for your support!
Sana
COMMUNITY LEADER
So glad that you have taken these steps. There is a reason why you were so desperate and you are now getting close to knowing why.
Do keep in mind that its more then just outside noises that will be distracting. It will be anything if he is not highly interested in something. Homework time will drive you crazy. There are lots of techniques to help you and him. The book I recommend the most is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. Its only about 10bucks on Amazon. If you find that you need more info - keep in touch.
Do keep in mind that its more then just outside noises that will be distracting. It will be anything if he is not highly interested in something. Homework time will drive you crazy. There are lots of techniques to help you and him. The book I recommend the most is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. Its only about 10bucks on Amazon. If you find that you need more info - keep in touch.
Thank you so much for all your wonderful posts. It was really rewarding. I took my son to a child Psychologist, which she noticed by everything I told her plus Joshua's behaviour, that he's very mild ADHD Inattentive. He really gets distracted by outside noise. However, to give me a final report I have completed one questionnaire and also took one to his teacher to do it while he's doing work with others as she needs to see how he's with others 5-6 years old in the classroom. His gross motor skills are fine, it is his fine motor skills that upsets him the most too.
So a Big thank you to all of you who have managed to put my thoughts into ease.
Sana
So a Big thank you to all of you who have managed to put my thoughts into ease.
Sana
Specialmum, I had a look at this page, and my son fits in it. He's very sensitive to laud sounds, and really I cannot take him to the movies because it is just too laud. As I mentioned before, his ears are very sensitive and he can hear sounds that we can't. Yes, he gets distracted with sounds at home and in the classroom.
His fine motor skills I think is the major problem for him. As I have previously written. I just don't understand how he can manage to build Lego things using tiny pieces and still having trouble in coordinating his hand writing. I understand the motion and the use of hand is different, but I think for him to be able to be happy and write he needs a bigger pencil (thick in size) for better grip.
But I am willing to know what you have done to help your kid.
Looking forward for your advice and tips on this.
His fine motor skills I think is the major problem for him. As I have previously written. I just don't understand how he can manage to build Lego things using tiny pieces and still having trouble in coordinating his hand writing. I understand the motion and the use of hand is different, but I think for him to be able to be happy and write he needs a bigger pencil (thick in size) for better grip.
But I am willing to know what you have done to help your kid.
Looking forward for your advice and tips on this.
Sandman2, I could pin point 6 characteristics of ADHD Inattentive disorder. This could be the case too, but it's very hard to be diagnosed because of his age. However, I am taking him to a child psychologist to assess him in this matter. If he doesn't show any signs after two tests, then I can clear my mind and focus mainly on his fine motor skills. Yes, he can build amazing stuff with Lego, but when he needs use his fine motor for writing where hand motion is needed, I think it is when he gets frustrated and don't want to keep on going. He knows his stuff. His teacher already told me that. But I think after reading specialmum's comment, he could easily fit in that category too.
Thank you for your support.
Thank you for your support.
specialmum, you are spot on. It is not about maturity but about focus. Sometimes he can be focus for a long period of time; sometimes he finishes his work, but most of the time he doesn't, or it's not interested. But I am pretty sure that his fine motor skills is not fully developed yet. Because handwriting required such hand motion, I don't think he could grasp this skill just yet, and makes him frustrated when looking at his peers who can, and he just can't. Although his hand writing is improving, but a lot of work needs to be done.Thank you for your website you posted earlier. I will have a look at it and let you know.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Just a comment on, "However, when putting lego tiny pieces together he can build really good stuff." Kids with ADD or ADHD have the ability to almost hyper concentrate when they find something interesting. The problem arises when something is boring or not as interesting, then their mind wanders a lot. I am not saying that this is what is going on - just what is a typical AD/HD behavior.
I am not finding fault with the teacher, but not all children mature at the same rate. Maybe your son just needs more time. It is interesting, by the way, that with the more modern approach of starting children on the academic path earlier it does not result in better educated people. In fact, in my city, the state exams have been made easier than they were.
I would look up sensory integration disorder. It's very similar to add/adhd but slightly different. This is what my son has. He also had some mild speech issues when young which is common with sensory kids. He also had some trouble with hand writing and fine motor skills. This too is part of sensory. Kids that have mild sensory issues often cope a lot of the time and have difficulty at other times. They don't use medication for sensory but do something called occupational therapy. My son does occupational therapy and it helps very much! Also, he has a 'sensory diet' of activities that he does that helps him maintain focus and to sit better in class.
A good site to learn about sensory is "SensoryProcessingDisorder" here is the web site:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/
Check this page out and see what you think. Not every kid with sensory is the same but they often have some similar things going on. And days with a sensory kid can be different from day to day. So, sometimes it takes a bit of time to understand if that is going on. But what you've written does match some general sensory things.
If you think it matches at all, I'm happy to offer some suggestions. We've had great success with our son.
Let me know what you think.
A good site to learn about sensory is "SensoryProcessingDisorder" here is the web site:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/
Check this page out and see what you think. Not every kid with sensory is the same but they often have some similar things going on. And days with a sensory kid can be different from day to day. So, sometimes it takes a bit of time to understand if that is going on. But what you've written does match some general sensory things.
If you think it matches at all, I'm happy to offer some suggestions. We've had great success with our son.
Let me know what you think.
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my son would not have matured out of his issues. it's not just about academics or academic achievement but being able to focus. Being able to complete work given. If the majority of other kids that are not learning disabled are completing it, one must look at why their child isn't. maturity doesn't really account for that.
I personally believe that by addressing issues early, children overcome them faster and more completely. luck to the poster and look up sensory integration disorder and let me know what you think. peace