Ummmm, had a feeling that this might be the case. It will be interesting to see what the testing shows. Kind of think it will agree with your Pediatrician. That would be good news - and something to mention to his teacher if that is the case because it would put a bit more responsibility on her.
At 8 he is just barely at the age where what he does in school should be punished at home. But it does seem to be working. I would suggest not waiting for the weekend. All consequences (rewards or punishments at this age) should be as immediate as possible (and brief). Thats why the teacher really needs to deal with this. But I would deal with his daily reports. If he messes up - cut his video time or something by a certain percent. Definitely do nothing to punish him as soon as he gets home. And don't look for perfection. Maybe only if the 0's are more than the pluses. The best thing that you can do for him is to minic at home the things he should be doing at school. I also have the feeling that if the teacher could give him any added responsibilities in class, it would pay off. And I would certainly try to have an input into the teacher he gets next year.
I think you also might want to get the book, Parenting With Love And Logic by Jim Fay. I think it would be appropriate. Hope this helps
I forgot to mentione that I also put my son is basketball although it is his first time playing he is doing pretty good in being part of a team. Now and then if the ball hit him in the face he starts crying and I say it is alright and have him go back in to play.
Sandman2 thanks for the book referrals I will buy them today.
His birthday is July 3, 2003 and yes he is very smart and knows how to manipulate the teacher if he can feel that she is kind of soft. Last year the teacher was very soft. I went to read for the class once and these boys were playing and pushing each other on the floor and she just sat there without saying a word. I helped one of the boys get up from the floor.
This year the teacher is a little more firm but he knows what he soft spots are.
The teacher and I have a daily communication where she has a little table in his homework book were she checks + for good and 0 for bad. for example during pe he was good so that was a + then in language arts good + science talked in class 0. So far this week he had only 2 0's on two different days.
He learned a big lesson last weekend since the first week after the holidays he was great on the first day but on Wed and Thursday it was awful. So I told him that he was gounded all weekend and that he could not play on the WII, DS etc. I drive him to school every day and I remind him before he gets out of the car. Remember to behave try not to get any 0's today. He says mom I promised u.
Thank you for all of your great suggestions. Sometimes you wonder if you are the only person going through this and if you are doing the correct things.
This has helped me a lot.
Have a great weekend!
Thank you so much those are great ideas. I have tried a couple of them but will continue to do it.
Thank you again
Lots of great ideas by specialmom - and they all will help! Helping him learn how to handle his frustrations is very important and her ideas are very good. Basically, kids do need to be taught how to handle their anger. There are a couple sets of books aimed at this age group. One is, " How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger" (Laugh And Learn). That and several more are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Take-Grrrr-Anger-Laugh-Learn/dp/1575421178/ref=pd_sim_b_7
Another good set is the," Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!" The Children's Anger-Control Book. That and others in the set are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1
It sounds like he has good grades, but the teacher wants him tested because he is silly and cries? When is his birthday?
What is interesting to me is that you, "have been telling him if you behave all week you can play on the WII or go to a place you like. So far it has been working." Kids typically of this age don't do well with long term rewards ( and at this age - a week is long term). This would indicate he is capable of good behavior. Makes me wonder what the teacher is doing? Have you ever observed her class? Is he sharp enough that he is manipulating her? Did he have the same complaints from his second grade teacher?
Hi, the teacher may want him tested because some of these issues are also found in kids that do indeed have some nervous system issues. My son for example has sensory issues and social skills were very difficult for him.
Here are some things we did to help them that you can perhaps try with your son------ I'm a firm believer that if it doesn't come naturally that we should teach it to them ourselves.
My son really wants friends which is motivating for him. So we have discussions with him about how to be a good friend. I moniter his behavior and we talk about it frequently. As he says he wants friends, he will listen to this discussion and try different things.
We play with him at home like we are peers. He doesn't always get to win the games we play and we expect him to be a good sport. He has to share, he has to let us decide what we are going to do for the activity, he has to moniter his tone of voice and body language. Then, I identify various people that he has potential to be friends with and set up one on one playdates. Best to keep these to 2 hours tops and to have ground rules with your son beforehand. The guest gets to go first, for example, is one of our rules. I stay close by at all times listening. I step in if necessary to help my son on the spot (he is being inflexible and his play date is getting annoyed for example) and then we talk about the play date after the fact--- the good and bad of it. Every pllay date is an opportunity to practice his skills. We have them a couple of times a week. I also have in some activities that promote a feeling of friendship with peers. He is currently playing basketball on a team. I keep my ear to the ground for what boys are interested in his age and I make those playdates FUN. A hot game--- I try to have it. I make the best snacks. I'm always cheerful and friendly to his play date. I make a big effort for the pay off of building friendships. I highly recommend this. I also volunteer in school so I get to know kids and can also help my son with actions in school that make friendships hard to form. If you work, you can take an occasional day off of work to do this, it is really worth it for the info you will get and the connection to kids in his class/peer group.
One thing I've really worked on with my son is to understand how others feel If he is having an angry or frustrated moment and handles it badly, he makes his peers uncomfortable. So we work on appropriate ways to handle it, I have role played with him, acted it out, given him options to choose from. This helps him handle things better when he has a plan for when he gets mad. On a play date, I tell him that his number one priority as a 'good friend' is to make sure his friend has fun. Same at recess. This means letting them have their way at times, letting them pick the game, working to adjust his 'plan' as he plays. These are hard for him but having friends is more important. My son is never walked on because of this if you worry about that. He's still pretty firm in personality. So don't worry about that---- but kids like other kids that see having a good time together as the main idea verses just having it their way.
I would set ups situations at home for him to fail so he can learn to deal with that better. He's got issues coping with frustration or failure and you can help him with the skills to handle it better. Do it at home in a safe enviroment.
Try working on these things, it should help him. good luck