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My 8 year old pees her pants during the day
My 8 year old daughter frequently wets herself because she does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  She has done it at school, at home, at friends homes, pretty much anywhere she is.  It does not happen all the time.  When my wife and I question her she says she just couldn't hold it.  Any suggestions?
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Wow! Here is some news you all want to hear about, it's called EMDR therapy
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing)
I experience very much the same thing with my youngest daughter for years.  I thought all the same thoughts.  But the problem still existed by age 8, tests all normal, diet balanced, so she must be just to lazy.  Well here is a new flash THE BODY TALKS TO YOU IF YOU LISTEN and what peeing in their pants is telling you is that something isn't right so LISTEN!
I was blessed to have someone share with me this type of therapy and I kid you not after 3 session she was dry.  So here is the jest of it;

Trauma, what ever it might be, is processed in the brain during rem cycle.  If the brain doesn't process it properly then there can be triggers. When the trigger happens a hormone is released into the body which causes symptoms (sweaty palms, stomach pains, ridding bodily fluids (vomiting or peeing).  Kids REALLY don't know why it is happening.  But through EMDR, my daughter was able to understand body talk and able to know why it was happening to her.  I suggest looking up a therapist in your area, the worst thing that can happen is you'll finally break the cycle and help your child have a normal life.  
Good Luck!
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I would love to know what you are doing now...my 8 year old daughter is doing the exact thing!!!!!
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give her concicquences or make her wear dipers
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Like that is going to help if she has a medical problem?
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I have a baby who has constipation a lot, but is fine if he takes magnesium everyday. Magnesium is a natural source, and the amount can be adjusted to the individual. I don't know if this will help you but it has helped us. It is called "calm" and you can get it with calcium or without. It also is quite pleasant to drink.
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I have an almost 7 year old daughter. We've been PT'ing since she was almost 3. She has about 5-6 accidents a day on a bad day...on a good day, it is only 1. Strange things: She gets up a couple times each night to empty her bladder. No amt of praise, consequence, etc makes a difference. Each pt'ing system (reward charts, candy, you name it we've done it, including makinng er walk around holding a diaper. Not proud of that moment...but we were desparate and did that for one day. etc) weve tried for over 2 months. To be sure we've given it a long enoough time. Her excuses : I didnt know i did it. I cant feel when i have to go, i dont know why". I call bs, because she doesnt pee her pants every single time...she does use the toilet frequently throughout the day. She rarely has accidents at night, and the only time this has happened, is recently.
We took her to the urologist around age 4. Hte said she had an overactive bladder and put her on Ditrapan or something like that. WARNING that made her CRAZY. Off the hook behavior problems. I think it did permanent damage because she has never been the same since. She is currently being treated for depression, bipolar, odd, etc. N ever had issues before that medicine. He did say it was possible to have behavior issues when usng it..Anyway....BIG MISTAKE THERE.
I want to take her to have an ultrasound on her bladder to see if there is an issue there. Maybe like another poster...her bladder is too small. BUT, ev3en if it is...whhy can she wake herself up at night...but not make it to the toilet during the day???
Oh and she doesnt do this at school. She has minimal accidents there. She will be starting 1st and in full day in a few weeks, so we'll see how that goes.
For now, we are treating her how she behaves. Babies pee their pants. If you want to do that, ok...but you cant have your tv in your room and you dont get new cool big girl clothes. Prob wont do a damn thing,but we are so frustrated we dont know what to do.
Oh and we are also making it a huge deal. She makes a  mess...she cleans it up . She has to shwoer after ever accident,even if its 5 times a day. Then after that she washes her clothes, changes herself, washes the bathroom floor up. That is her routine. EVER DAY. That was suggested to us by the counsellor. I'll post if he has any other ideas as we are going to see him today.
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189897 tn?1441130118
   My first thought is have you seen any other urologist since she was about 4.   That really was a long time ago.  It could be a medical problem.
   Is she on any meds now?  I will be glad to check out side effects of any meds she might be on.
   And, I also should mention that kids with ADHD have 4 times more wetting accidents then the normal child.  So you probably ought to take a look at the ADHD symptoms.  Pretty good site here - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1   .      If you need more information on ADHD, post over on the ADHD web site so I won't miss it.  Site is here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
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You folks need to start putting your foot down and doing some proper parenting.  If your child will not stop playing and go to the bathroom then you should take their toys away until they decide to be more responsible about something they SHOULD be responsible about at their age.
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I am happy and sad that I have found this forum...Happy to see that I am not alone since I have a 6 year old, she will be 7 in two months, but sad to hear that we all seem to have to wait until they outgrow this wetting problem. I too am at wits end dealing with wetting problems. My daughter has accidents just about every day and does sleep so hard at night that she doesn't wake up to go to the bathroom. We are using pull ups at night and are not worried about that nearly as much as we are about the daytime wetting. She wets her pants regardless of where she is, at school, at the store, playing with friends. She says she didn't know she had to go. She lies about being wet all the time. I know that she does have the urge to go because at times she will go on her own. I have her on Milk of magnedia everyday, which she has done for over a year now so I know that her peeing is not due to constipation.
I have tried every positive reinforcement and pretty much every negative reinforcement thinkable to make her stop wetting. She now has to clean up her own messes and wash herself every time she has accidents. If anyone out there comes up with something that works for there child please share with the rest of us as we all want the situation resolved.
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All you people who punish a child for wetting themselves are nothing but cruel! You are psychologically damaging your kids every day.

Of course kids lie about having wet themselves. They are embarrassed and scared of the consequences. And they just want to get on with life, not having to think about toileting issues all the time. That is also why sometimes they do indeed not bother with going to the toilet because they always have to go very urgently immediately and I totally understand why they get so very frustrated by having to drop everything and run to the toilet all the time. They are KIDS!

This is a medical issue, people. I guarantee it! NO 7 yo chooses to go through this out of stubbornness or for wanting attention. And the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can get your child the helps she needs.

I went through it with my daughter who is now nearly 8. I first tried the sticker charts, the negative consequences, you name it. Then we tried increased fluid intake which was a disaster as her accidents just got bigger and no other effect. I put her on laxatives with no effect.

She finally was diagnosed with an overactive bladder by a pediatrician. The treatment involved taking Ditropan and doing bladder training. My daughter had to try wait with going for wees. First 5 minutes, then 10 minutes and so on. This treatment plan didn't work either and in the end I had to stop it as it put all the responsibility back on my daughter who was in no way responsible for having a faulty bladder.

Finally we found a urologist who told us her bladder was simply underdeveloped and prescribed Oxytrol patches. Not other treatment, though if she still has the problem after she turns 8, she will be referred to a specialist service for bladder training advice. No use starting with that before that age as they just don't get it.

She's been on the Oxytrol for about 6 months now and the daytime accidents stopped almost completely soon after we started. We still had one a week at first, now maybe one a month. But what's even better, after 6 months she is now dry at night!

As an experiment, we decided to stop the patches for a few days. Her daytime accidents did not come back, but she wet the bed every night she wasn't wearing the patch. So she is now back on them because it gives her the quality of life she deserves.

So stop punishing your kids, find a good specialist and get them on medication. And give them time to recover from the trauma of the daytime wetting before you do anything else.
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And to those people who come here to tell us that we are bad parents: get a life or go and be judgmental elsewhere. The only link to parenting here is that parents need to realise that these kids deserve to get the medical attention they need. And in this case, they need a knowledgeable urologist who can prescribe the right treatment. And lots of TLC because this is a very debilitating condition that has a massive effect on their social life through no fault of their own . Give your kids some credit and support them trough this like a good parent should.
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And one more...

The poop accidents will very often be caused by constipation and bad voiding habits. If the constipation gets bad, it kind of blocks the bowel and more fluid poop will seep past the blockage and the child won't feel it come out. The solution is mild laxatives (those powders, forget what they're called) and making sure the child knows that trying to hold off doing a poo will make the problem worse.

Also, reduce softdrinks, but avoid caffeinated drinks altogether. I have noticed firsthand how Coke has a bad effect on the bladder.

And the reason why kids often have more accidents during school term is because they are not able to just drop everything and run to the toilet. An underdeveloped or overactive bladder causes immediate urgency. At the first sign the child's brain gets that they have to go, they have to go very urgently immediately. If they then have to ask the teacher for permission to go and walk to the toilets in school, it is often too late. My daughter had lots of accidents on the way to the toilet at school. This isn't an issue at home because the toilet is closeby and she can go immediately.

And please try to avoid pull-ups at school. Other kids might notice and they will get teased. Use incontinence pads if you have to. I bought my girl 'monkey bar pants' that she could use the pads in and wear under a dress and no one noticed. But haven't needed them for over 6 months and don't expect to again either.

Please follow my advice. My daughter's accidents were really, really bad and went on for years and the problem is now completely gone.
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189897 tn?1441130118
    Thank you for sharing, this sounds like very good advice!
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in my case, the panty-wetter is my daughter's 11 yr. old friend.  We've known this girl, and her family since both girls were about 3 yrs. old.  This little girl has ALWAYS been peeing in her pants during the day.  She does the crotch-grab, hopping around, the whole bit - and when you ask 'do you need to go to the bathroom?', she says No!  Then she wets her pants.

Her mother has had her to the doctor.  I don't ask a lot of questions but the last time she wet her pants at my house (over 2 yrs. ago) I flat out told her it wasn't an 'accident'; she chose not to go to the bathroom, accidents don't happen by choice.  I made her clean up after herself and she's never wet herself at my house since.  My girls are together a lot, have sleepovers - it's never happened again.

But she does wet her pants at school, on school outings, on outings with her parents and most recently at the bookstore with my daughter.  My daughter was so mad at her for two reasons; one, because this girl is not embarrassed and seems not to even care, and two, because my daughter is embarrassed by her friends panty-wetting in public!

My daughter is being approached by other kids who ask her why this girl wets her pants and that too is stressing her out - trying to explain her friends behavior - which quite frankly makes no sense to her to start with.  

I am concerned for my daughter's friend - but I'm more concerned with how this is starting to affect my daughter.  It's creating a resentment towards this girl that I think will eventually be the cause of the end of their friendship.  I see middle school (next year) and the pressures of 'fitting in' being a catalyst for my daughter to pull farther away from this girl.  

I would like to talk to this girl's mother - but I don't know how that will be received.  I would appreciate any thoughts from parents who have girls this age who still pee in their pants.  Thanks.
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well my daughter is 8 going to be 9 in a few months and she does the same thing. I ask her why she peed her pants and she goes "because I didn't want to go to the bathroom". We've asked her if it embarrasses her and she says no. she doesn't do it at school only at home. she also doesn't wet the bed at night. she hides her panties also and says its cause she doesn't want to be in trouble. when we ask her after that once again why she just didn't go to the bathroom she says cause she didn't want to stop playing, or she just says "i didn't want to." So saying it's not normal for a child to do that is ridiculous. She just blatantly refuses to go. I've tried it all to get her to stop. She has no medical problems, no infections, nothing. Just refuses and is okay with it. She can go no road trips where we don't stop for HOURS and she's just fine.
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well my daughter is 8 going to be 9 in a few months and she does the same thing. I ask her why she peed her pants and she goes "because I didn't want to go to the bathroom". We've asked her if it embarrasses her and she says no. she doesn't do it at school only at home. she also doesn't wet the bed at night. she hides her panties also and says its cause she doesn't want to be in trouble. when we ask her after that once again why she just didn't go to the bathroom she says cause she didn't want to stop playing, or she just says "i didn't want to." So saying it's not normal for a child to do that is ridiculous. She just blatantly refuses to go. I've tried it all to get her to stop.
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I've tried rewarding her with new outfits for every week she stays dry. She's 8 been potty trained since 2. Just started doing it about a year and half ago and won't stop. I don't know what else to do with her either. i've taken her toys. grounded her, rewarded her for staying dry... everything.... she only does it at home. not at school, on the road, or even at friends house. she just doesn't care. at wits end. any luck figuring urs out please share.
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The most likely reason why she doesn't have accidents at your home but does at school and on outings etc is because the toilet is so close at home. She can run to the toilet immediately when she feels she has to go. This is not possible when she's at school or out somewhere. Kids with an overactive or underdeveloped bladder get NO warning. When they feel they need to go it is very urgent immediately.

You clearly have no idea what it is like to be a parent of a child with this problem nor what the child herself is going through. If you and your daughter cannot deal with this in a constructive way, it is probably best to just end all contact. But you might want to point her mother to this post so she might get her child the medical treatment she needs.
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I have a 8 year old daughter who situation is very similar to yours.  After reading your comment about the ADHD which my daughter has, it makes me think that is linked to her bathroom accidents and holding her BM's for days.  I too have taken her to an urologist and she said everything was normal.  My daughter will go for about 3 or 4 weeks at a time with no accidents then one day have one.  I ask her why and she always says she didn't feel the urge to go until it was too late. I think there is a connection with her brain not sending signals to the part of her body that controls the urge to pee.  I am not sure if her pediatrician can test for that.  Any suggestions?
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189897 tn?1441130118
   From articles I have read, its more that the child gets so involved in what they are doing that they wait too long to go.  And then once they gotta go - because they have ADHD and tend to react without thinking - they go.
    And yes, being constipated can complicate the matters.
    And many times being at school also makes matters more difficult due to kids being afraid to use the bathroom or teachers not letting the kids out of class.
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Hi I hope everything has gotten better. I am on the same boat my daughter is 6 she's been peeing on herself during the day everyday now for a year we've tried everything nothing works. She's never been potty trained for the nightime. Took her to the DR she keeps getting uti's because she's always wet. Honestly it is very frustrating as a parent because no one understands unless they are in the same situation and people just critisize you. I have an appointment now for the pshycologist . We recently got a divorce me and her dad so maybe it has alot to do with this. Behavior wise it just gets worse and worse by the day. Its nice to know i'm no the only one out there.
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Hi, Can you tell me if your child's problem with daytime wetting has resolved? My son has a same problem, and we don't know what to do? He feels awful about this... Please let me know! Thanks!
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I am having the same problem.  My daughter is nine and still pee's a little bit in her pants and occasionally wets them.  I have had her checked out by her Dr. and He said she is fine.  I have taken things away from her, and that didn't work, I try to remind her when she is at home to go.  I know some people say its laziness, but I don't know what else to do.  Any suggestions.
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with most American diets comes constipation and it presses on the bladder and this can cause accidents .
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Kcarlyle,
how are her bowels ? soft or Hard? If she gets constipated it could be pressing on her bladder.
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A bit of both. That was the first thought as she had a lot of blockage showing on ultrasound when she was still being seen by the ped urologist. She hasn't been back since she started  1/2 capsule of vyvanse daily. I reduced her ditropan to once dailt instead of twice because it she was complaining of stomach aches and then she would have a large soft bowel movement. About a month or so ago, i stopped it totally and she seems to being doing fine without it. She still has stomach migraines but only occasionally. She is doing better about knowing when she has to go but it still hits her like a Mack truck at times and instead of going she will just squat down in an attempt to wait until she can stand up and run to the bathroom.  Trying to get her to stop this now.
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My son is 9 and has always wet day and nite.  He has spd and low tone.  Been to urologist and neurologist.  All is well.  No constipation either.  He has reflex integration problems.  We are doing an exercise to integrate the moro reflex right now. The galant reflex does affect wetting (so they say)  but we have to integrate one at a time.  galant is 2nd on the list.  We have been working on the moro for one year!  In the meantime, we have put our son in pullups since the stress of him being wet has been very intense.   How has this gone away for others?   I am concerned that the reflext integration and the OT that we have in place for him may not be the answer.  He has been going to the chiropractor for 7 mos.  No changes yet!  ugh  
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Wow.. it is good to know that we are not alone.  Same symptoms as most everyone.. She is 8, she also suffers from constipation, she also pees her pants at school and at night and does not seem to care. She cannot offer a reason when asked why.  She also does it more when she is doing something she does not want to stop doing. We also took her to the urologist.  NO problem with her bladder (as opposed to what some folks have posted here regarding underdeveloped bladder) and the urologist blamed it on the constipation.  For a while, I sent her to school with pull-ups, but she begged me not to send her with pull ups because kids did see them and started making fun of them.  She is also starting to get teased because she is wetting herself.  She was doing well for a while, at least during the day (we would still have to have her wear diapers at night), when she was taking Miralax.  I mean, her panties would still smell like pee, but at least she would not get completely wet to the point she would need to change.  This lasted for about 3 to 4 months, but a couple of weeks ago, my wife stopped giving her Miralax to see if she would be ok, but she isn't.  She started peeing again. She is back to taking Miralax and I am hoping she gets back to not peeing at least during the day.  I also read what is in the link from webmd that someone posted: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis .   This is also very interested because it says that it is hereditary. My wife had that problem and through Elementary school and even until 8th grade and just like webmd says it typically happens, she just grew out of it.  My wife says that the reason she used to wet her pants is plain and simple -- SHe just did not want to go to the bathroom out of laziness.. pure and simple..  I guess all we can do  is deal with it until they grow out of it.  I just hope the teasing at school does not cause here other problems.  
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I am so glad I decided to google this. I am dealing with many of the same issues. My son will be 8 this year.  This has gone on for about 4 years now. He does not wet during the night time. Ironically, many nights he gets up to go to the bathroom. I tried taking things away, threatening pull-ups, which I was about to go buy tomorrow. He has seen doctors over the years.  He had a sonogram last week. Nothing appears to be wrong. His pediatrician still recommended taking him to urinologist.  I am angry and sad all at the same time. I wash clothes daily. He just started hiding underwear.  I found three pair behind his bed and I was so upset that it has come to this point. Some have suggested counseling. He claims that he can't tell that he has to use the bathroom until he has to go really bad. On the weekend, he once used the bathroom (b/c I sent him) 3x within 1 hour. I will definitely pray for all of you.  I just don't want him to get to the point where he gets teased. We have had some changes in our lives. I am not oppose to seeing a counselor. I don't know. I am off in the summers so, I will be home with him and hopefully can really focus on this. Good luck to all you in the struggle!
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Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you foremost I definitely feel what you are going through to the T!! We are going through the same thing with our 10 year old daughter. The Dr. said there is nothing wrong with her and it feels like the more praise and redirection I do she gets more careless. She is my stepdaughter and I maybe thought that she did this because of being traumatized in her past. She was given up by her mother and also sexually abused by the boyfriend. She went through foster care before she came into the care of my husband her father. Since then she manipulates to get her way, lies, accuses people of touching her more often. She also sleep walks, and bed wets as well as during the day. She even has bowels and walks around like nothing. It has been a journey, but we haven't given up. I have high hopes that she will come around, sometimes I just don't know where to start. I do pray for you child as well, thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one. God Bless You!!
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To everybody on here:  When I was 8 years old, I started wetting my pants in school.  I have no idea why I did it, but other children in my class started to too.  My mom had a feeling it was because our teachers started asking us to "hold it" until they were finished teaching a lesson, and then let us go only during our lunch, recess, or after they were done talking.  We also had only two hall passes (one girl, and one boy) were only aloud out at one time.  This was not the reason why I was doing it, but I'm not sure about the other students in my class.  I don't know how many others were having the same problem.  My mom had taken me to the doctor, but I don't think anything came of it.  I really highly recommend taking your children to counseling/psychologist (not for medications, but to find out if something else is going on).  Your child could be going through something else you are completely unaware of.  I continued to have this problem throughout elementary, and into middle school.  I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but I know sometimes I still have problems.  I would only have the issue if I was at school, or in a public setting (including day trips with my family, or while I was away for a full week at summer camp). Once I reached middle school, it stopped happening at school, but it would happen other times, like summer camp. Since then I find I only have issues when I am in a situation where I can't stop what I'm doing for one reason or another.  I used to work as a veterinary nurse at an emergency hospital.  We would have long shifts (12 hours) that would end up extending into over time (up to 16 hours some days), it was extremely busy, stressful, and we were never given lunch breaks, or even coffee breaks.  There were times I ended up wearing a diaper to work.  I have since left that job, for more reasons than one, and I am going to therapy (age 27). I never had a problem pooping my pants, only urinating. I haven't had a problem since I left that job, and started therapy.  I really wish I had done this a lot sooner.  My mom never punished me for it, but I knew she would get angry about it.  I really don't believe punishing a child for doing something like this is effective way of managing this at all.  I think it is embarrassing enough that it is happening as it is.  Clearly this is something your child doesn't want to happen.  You, and your child, just have to find out why.  I don't believe this is something that is normal, in any case, with a child of 8 years or older.  Maybe it is more common in younger children, I don't know.  Either way, there is a reason why this is happening, and if your pediatrician can't find anything medically wrong, then I would highly recommend seeing a child therapist.  
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This sounds just like my daughter....Has the situation improved...please give me some hope, because I am at a loss and feel hopeless
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it is reassuring to know it is not just us going through this, tried lots with my nearly 7 year old daughter who seems to leak urine through the day, not a full pee so that her trousers are wet etc usually but very strong smelling damp knickers at the end of the day. just been looking for advice, took her to the doctors who thought she was fine and will grow out of it, she does get thrush often and I often suspect urine infections because of how strong dmelling her urine is and that her skin is often burnt by leaked urine. just been given cream to soothe these issues. Have been told we can get a mat with an alarm to help her realise when she has peed at night as dr believes it is just that she is a deep sleeper that she wets at night and this might help establish a routinem will let you know if it helps but dont see how it will benefit during the day, we have also been told to get her to ;double void' so she goes to the toilet then goes again after 5 minutes to make sure she fully emptied as may stop when desperate urge has gone and rush off without waiting til fully finished, hard to make sure she has sat on for long enough, though I ask her to sit on the loo when she has finished and think of a chorus of a song before standing up and wiping. hope these things are helping but damp knickers still a regular occurance. As for poop accidents, she never has these but my cousin who i was close to growing up did, her mum tried everything, once even losing it and chasing hitting her with a carrier bag full of tins because she had done it for the second time that day, Sometimes we could tell she needed to go because of the way she held herself but either she wouldnt, or sometimes she would and her mum would make her sit there for half an hour crying, then she would still have an accident later. her mum made her stay on there for hours sometimes because she wanted to be able to praise her for going on the toilet and wondered if it was a phobia and tried to break it. anyway it turns out that all the rewards and punishment, sticks of liqourice and beatings in the world wouldnt have helped because it finally got taken seriously by the doctors when she was at high school (her mum had taken her regularly about it up to then but was told no problem or mildly constipated, hence the liquorice) and it turned out that she needed an operation which stretched her anus, it had been really hard for her to go and extremely painful up to then but she hadnt been able to know that that wasnt the same for everyone because it had always been that way, so because it was painful and hard to get it out she had to wait for her body to force it out, the pain caused the stance that made us know she needed to go but even then she hadnt had control over when it came, after a small operation and 3 days in hospital her life was changed, she went from nervous girl to confident adult. Her mum felt awful about what she had put her through, but then she didnt know the problem and didnt want her stinky dirty and bullied and couldnt understand why she couldnt control it and blamed her own parenting for it happening. Because of this I dont want to punish my daughter or make it a huge issue if she really cant help it but I am keen to know if there are real causes for this leaking and to do what I can to solve it for her.
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It is common. I believe at age 6 one in 10 kids struggle with daytime wetting. That's 2 in every average class! The numbers go down with age but it still isn't that uncommon for it to continue till age 12.

If your doctor says it isn't a medical issue, see another doctor. Find one that will prescribe Oxytrol patches or similar. Don't accept oral drugs, they are nowhere near as effective. The patches are super easy to use and kids don't find them much of a hassle at all. They worked for us, reducing the accidents from at least one or two a day to one every week or 2 weeks.

Our urologist recommended using them for a while and then to start my daughter on a bladder training regime after she turned 8. But we stopped the patches, after using them for about a year and she stayed dry. Still have the occasional accident when she can't get to a toilet easily, but nothing to worry about really.

Then we started using the bedwetting alarm recently - 6 months after we stopped the Oxytrol. This method is really mostly psychological so the child has to be motivated. But it is working quite well for us.
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Wow. I started this google search thinking that there would probably be no one out there that had to deal with a child like mine. I'm so relieved and devastated at the same time to hear so many others are going through the same thing and I've read from the beginning of the thread to 2009 and no one really seems to know what causes it or how to fix it. A little about my story. My daughter is turning 9 on Thursday. This should be a happy time but it's not. I'm so fed up with the multiple daily wetting. I've literally done everything. You can ask my dad who is a therapist I've done it all. I've tried encouragement, heart to hearts, punishment, potty charts, allowance, taking away tv, taking away toys, boxing up all her toys, having her do the laundry, buying toys/books, scheduled bathroom breaks, going to the doctor, going to the urologist, xrays, ultrasound, VCUG (insert catheter, insert camera through the cath and watch her pee...very painful), I've ignored it and explained it to her, prayed,and of course the miralax (got up to 3 capfuls 2x daily), I've even tried to embarrass her out of it and NOTHING! Nothing has changed. She doesn't know why she does it. She doesn't care that she does it. And in the last four years that it has happened there has only been 1 time she showed she was upset and embarrassed about it. That was last week. Since last week the wetting has hit its all time high. Some say it's stress. She's a kid in the summer. Her biggest stress is choosing which tv channel to watch or what toy to play with. I've heard some say they are single parents and so am I (the father left before she was born and never came back). So maybe that's it but not everyone on here is single parents. So I'm begging to have someone please hit REPLY and give me the key, the golden ticket, the answer to make her stop. I thought that it was a temporary problem and it's been four years. Potty training as a toddler was easy. This has not been. There's actually been a couple of times where she went to the bathroom on time and before she made it to the toilet she peed her pants cause she stopped to pet the cat or check herself out in the mirror. Really?! Thanks for the help in advance!!
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I have a 7 year old girl who will literally go through 6-8 panties a day. We put her on a fluid regiment and by her drinking more she will feel the larger amount of fluid and won't want to pee all over herself and everything else. So far we have seen a very positive reaction. We are down to a change here or there if we forget to keep her drinking. She does get irritable with our constant reminders but 1,2,3, is good for that. Hopefully one of the answers below will help. Good Luck God knows it is a pain on their *** if they don't change.-My bad attempt at humor.


Treatment for daytime wetting that is not caused by another medical condition may include:

•Medicine. Oxybutynin (Ditropan) may be used to treat daytime wetting in children and adults. It helps control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See the Medications section of the topic Bed-Wetting for more information.

•Surgery. If the child has daytime wetting that is caused by birth defects within the urinary system, surgery to correct the defect may be needed. But sometimes the surgery does not make the accidental wetting stop.

•Counseling. Sessions with a counselor may be helpful for the child who has accidental wetting that is caused by emotional stress. Counseling may involve psychotherapy or hypnosis (hypnotherapy). The goal is to reduce or help manage the stress or to prevent stress.

Home treatment

Home treatment may be all that is needed to improve daytime accidental wetting, especially if the wetting is not due to any medical condition or stress. Try the following:
•Encourage your child to go to the bathroom whenever the urge happens.
•Reward your child for being dry. You may use hugs, stickers, or special treats as rewards.
•Teach your child special exercises to control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See exercises to help a child gain bladder control and bladder-stretching exercises.
•Don't make your child wear a diaper. Wearing a diaper may make him or her feel babyish. Also, it may be hard for a child to get the diaper off when using the toilet. Wearing disposable underwear, such as Pull-Ups, may be helpful. But it may also make the problem last longer because the child may have less motivation to learn bladder control.

If your child delays going to the bathroom and holds on to urine until he or she loses control and wets, try the following:
•Encourage your child to use the toilet when you notice signs that he or she may need to go, such as squatting, squirming, crossing the legs, or standing very still.
•Offer more liquids to drink. Drinking more liquids will increase the amount of urine in the bladder, causing your child to need to go to the bathroom more often.
•Have your child go to the bathroom every hour during the day.
•Encourage your child to take extra time on the toilet so that he or she will be more likely to empty the bladder.


Let me know!!
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I do not believe that this is not a medical problem. The most likely reason why she seems to not care is because if she would allow her to feel embarrassed each time it happened, she would be an emotional wreck by now. It is self preservation.

An under-developed bladder is very common in kids. There isn't much to show for it. Usually the only give away is that the bladder appears small for the child's age.

And not all medication was created equal. We tried Ditropan with no noticeable effect. But when we switched to Oxytrol patches, the effect was immediate. My daughter used them for about 6 months and after that she stayed mostly dry, except for at night. We started using a bedwetting alarm for that, but that's another story.

We were advised by a urologist to see an incontinence specialist regarding bladder training too, but after the Oxytrol course there was no need for that anymore. It is vital that you allow the bladder to "calm down" for a while after starting Oxytrol before you do anything else. And it is very important that your child knows that you accept it is beyond her control. That is the first step in gaining her cooperation to take steps towards treating it. She needs your trust and help.
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I too have a daughter 8yrs who pees in her pants and not even know it.  When asked, will either deny or my body did not tell me I had to go.  I'm at my "wits end", all her accidents happen at school and at home.  Were you able to find a solution for your daughter?
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My advice is to shop around for a doctor that will prescribe Oxytrol patches. We ended up going to a urologist, but the paediatrician or maybe even a GP would be able go prescribe it too. Don't put up with doctors telling you that they cannot find a physical cause or that she will grow out if it. Just smile politely and immediately book an appointment with another doctor!  Not feeling when you have to go is not normal and is not psychological.

After the Oxytrol have worked for a while, it is advised to let the child do 'bladder' training. Most incontinence clinics and similar will be able to help with that. But I strongly advice you don't yet go that route until you have seen some results from medication. I made that mistake with my daughter and it put ask the reponsibilty for solving the problem back on her and was very damaging for her self esteem and confidence when it didn't work. The urologist told me that kids under 7 are too young for bladder training and also that you shouldn't do it if the bladder is likely to be 'irritated',  which is apparently what happens with this condition without treatment.

Good luck. I know what it's like and am very relieved it's now behind us.
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make her hold a sign in the street every time saying i pee my pants

I guarantee it will stop soon
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189897 tn?1441130118
   That has got to be the worse advice I have ever heard.  What if the problem is caused my a medical problem.  How is holding up a sign going to cure that?  What is if it is caused by ADHD or an abuse problem, how is holding up a sign going to help?  
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I agree with sandman!
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Same problem here with 8 year old son.  Wish to hear from parents who have this history behind them, i.e. their boy/girl has no longer any problem. How was it resolved in the end? Boy in question here has been determined as perfectly normal in all functions and bodily makeup. No bullying, lots of friends, does well at school, but does have lazy streak. Also claims not to notice.
In addition to Oxytrol patch advice I would be very grateful to hear how others finally managed.  Many thanks in advance.
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189897 tn?1441130118
Are his problems more at school? Or home?  Any particular time of the day?  Does he wet his bed?
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If you read our story, I think what my conclusion was that an underveloped bladder can be hard to diagnose. What the urologist told us was basically that her bladder looked smaller than average for her age and that was the only physical evidence to go by.

But if not for that, we wouldn't have tried the Oxytrol and wouldn't have solved the issue.

But at 8, it may be worth trying to find a clinic that does bladder training. Just be careful not to put too much of the responsibility to make this work onto your son. Whatever the reason, it is highly unlikely that he can consciously control this. So treat it like you would treat any other physical impairment and you are far more likely to gain his full cooperation with whatever strategy you choose.

We also used a bedwetting alarm for a while and that was quite an interesting experience. It worked really well for a while too, until her dad put too much pressure on her because he apparently was fed up washing sheets. But when it worked, it did demonstrate that you can train your subconscious brain up to a point.
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Thank you that should be helpful!
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I have been visiting this site hoping to find help over the past year.  My daughter, now 9, has finally started using the toilet on her own.  So happy!  

She potty trained (daytime) at 18 months, but when she started pre-school she began ignoring her body's signals.  She didn't want to break the teacher's rules about getting up and using the toilet during the lesson.  Unfortunately, she lacked the ability to know when were appropriate times to go, so she chose to wait.  From then up until about 6 months ago, she would have wetting accidents at school, friends' houses, grandparents' houses, in the car, etc. and most of the time claim to not even know they happened!  Her body was giving signals (she would walk around all hunched over or "dancing") but she insisted she did not need to use the toilet.  It became a constant battle that I knew was not benefitting anyone.

The pediatrician gave her tests including UTI (negative) and ultrasound to check her bladder size (above normal for her age), and encouraged us to work on maintaining regular bowel movements, thinking that constipation may have been the culprit.

I have finally made progress with her through the Enuresis Treatment Center.  They helped my son with his bedwetting, but I waited to call because I thought she needed to be dry in the day to start nighttime training.  Not at all!  The two are totally related and the treatment for nighttime helps with daytime wetting, too.  It's an expensive option, but I am so happy to pay for it because we're all doing so much better!

The main expense comes from working with a professional counselor once every other week.  My daughter has physical therapy for her bladder in the form of kegels and an exercise where she drinks a measured amount of water, then practices holding her urge, and finally measures the output.  The second exercise alone has taught her to pay more attention to her body.  Nighttime wetting is decreasing, too.  She no longer wears Pull-ups to bed and if she does have an accident (thanks to a sensor that rings) she only has a small wet.

The training took about 12 mos for my son, so I'm looking toward the finish line I never thought I'd see! I hope this gives some of you an alternative to look into instead of medications or just trying to "wait until they grow out of it."
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Your comment really helped me in my situation with my daughter. O find myself getting upset about the accidents she's having, then I have to tell myself maybe its something medical. We have been dealing with this issue since before school.
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When I was young noone wanted to be around me because I use to wet my pants during the day. but when my daughter was going through the same problem, I decided to take action. I would not let her drink liquids one hour before she was to go to bed. And had her go to the bathroom before she went to bed. when I was ready to go to bed (a couple of hours later) I would wake her up and let her know that  she needed to go to the bathroom and it work, did it affect her sleep pattern, I don't know that but she automatically started to wake herself up .It took a couple of months and she got it.
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My son 5 year old was doing that too but instead of pee it was poop so every chance i got i would command him to go number 1 and 2 wherever we went every 30-40 mins would always tell me i dont have to go , but once he sat down it kicked in and if he dint it dint until he kinda got it and  i dint have to say it no more he went by himself
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Remind her to go to the bathroom avry 15 minuets and let her amity her bladder all the way and if it doesn't help try to talk to her about it ask her y shy won't use the bathroom when shy he's to go maby shy doesn't feel when shy he's to go and when shy dos it might be to late it's not her folt please don't get med at her take her to a doctor dos shy wet at night to ? Dos shy smell bed Puneshe her let her walk around with wet panties it's ok shy doesn't have to take a shwher it feels good it's ok if shy pees in her panties








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