My 8 year old pees her pants during the day

[Fejrednal]

My 8 year old daughter frequently wets herself because she does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  She has done it at school, at home, at friends homes, pretty much anywhere she is.  It does not happen all the time.  When my wife and I question her she says she just couldn't hold it.  Any suggestions?

[anxiousmomtobe?]

First I would have a medical examination just to rule out any problems.  

is she dry at night?

[Fejrednal]

Yes, she is dry at night.  She has never had a bed wetting problem.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Does this happen every day or once in awhile?  If it is just once in awhile I wouldn't worry.  Kids get busy and don't want to leave their play.

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree that if this is occuring infrequently, don't worry.  Its not uncommon for kids to not want to stop an activity to use the toilet.  However, if it has started to happen often she should be seen by her doctor to rule out any physical problems. Best wishes...

[koukla29]

I agree - take her to the doctor to rule out a medical condition that could be causing this situation.  In addition, I don't think it is normal for an 8 year old to be peeing on themselves in the situations you've described as they generally get very embarrassed and teased by the other children - which is not a positive social experience.  Is your daughter feeling embarrassed?  

I would always send her out with a change of clothes in her backpack and a sweater just incase she has an accident.  I have seen this before with a child of her age, and she had a medical condition and was unable to hold her bladder or sense the urgency in her bladder.  This little girl was extremely embarrassed and this was a big issue for her.  We made a schedule for her to use the bathroom.  She went to the bathroom before meals and after meals, and once per hour - even if she didn't have to go, we made it a habbit for her to go to the bathroom.  This helped reduce the number of accidents.

[LizaTV]

My 8 year old daughter ALWAYS has wet pants, day and night.  Pediatrician says she has Irritable Bowel Syndrome which causes her to become extremely constipated.  This "compacted bowel" presses on her bladder, forcing small amounts of urine to be squeezed out throughout the day.  Over the course of a day it amounts to quite a bit.  I now give her miralax every day after school.  If she gets too loose, I give her less.  I've decreased her dairy intake & given her a calcium supplement because dairy seems to worsen the constipation.  I can foresee bad days when she awakens with a tummyache and can't have a B.M.   I admit that she, too is so accustomed to wet pullups that she has no motivation to change out of them.  She also sleeps so hard that she wets almost nightly.  Pediatrician has me wake her up a little bit before I go to bed so as to send her potty and to pull her back from this deep sleep.
I wish you the best as I know how humiliating it is for not only your child, but for you the parent.  Other adults just don't understand why any child of 8 would have wet pants and can be rather unkind about it.
I hope this offers you a useful point of view.

[Ashley88]

when i was around that age i had that problem not alot during the day but expecialy at night when i was sleeping my grandmother used to literly beat me for it and when they took me to the dr turned out i had an abnormaly small bladder and some times i jsut coulndt make it and when i was sleeping i didnt even know i had to go untill i woke up

[Lori170]

I have a six year old that started going potty in her pants.  She has always gone in her pants off and on for a couple of years now.  I took her to the doctor and she is completely fine medically, but muy daughter tells me that she doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go.  She only goes in her pants when she is doing something fun, like playing at the park or on the playground at school with her friends.  I explained to her that if she would go in the toilet she could come back to what she was doing and she wouldn't loose her turn or miss out on anything.  She could pick up where she left off, but she is still doing it.  Last night her rear end even burned and I had to put creme on it and I'm sure it is from them being wet at school and her not changing them.  I have put clean underwear in her backpack and she still doesn't change them, because she if afraid someone might see her get them.  I don't know what to do.  I do know I would never resort to diapers or pull-ups.  I want to help her, not degrade or humiliate her.  Any suggestions?

[emmaxx]

i think you should consult your doctor.
i am a nurse and ive been talking 2 other patients who have children that do that.
they have all consulted their doctor.

[wetpants]

my six year old, out of the blue, started peeing on himself. i don't understand why and i need help. i took him to the doctor and had his urine tested. it had a little blood and protein in it but she said "nothing to worry about" the test results came back neg. when they sent it to the lab. What can i do? some days he has to change at least four times. Today i tried punishment by no tv time and he went outside to play and came back in wet. HELP! it's been going on for about 3 months. He started wetting the bed and then it stopped and now it's just in the day time and being wet is not bothering him now. he used to change immediatley. when he was potty traing he very rarley wet the bed at night and if he did he stripped his bed and got dry clothes and a blanket all by himself. We live in the woods so he has always stopped playing and went outside but now he doesn't.

[michsully80]

My 7 year old step daughter is peeing in her pants, and I had my mother try to talk to her and see why? My step daughter said she holds it because it feels good. Maybe the girls are having the same sensation. Now with my step son. He would pee in his pants b/c he didn't want to stop playing. So their father would spank him, but it never worked. So I started taking away his favorite toys and he would not get them back until he proved to me he would not pee in his pants again. It has been working so far and he just turned 5.

[HarleyMom1113]

My 8 year old daughter has the exact same problem.  She does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  And she does not wet the bed at night.  During the week, when she's at school, she always comes home with her underwear wet.  The weekends are the only time I do not have a problem with her because I am there to tell her to go to the bathroom.  Did your daughter's problem go away?  

[cyndi44m]

my son has the same problem he is turning 8 I send him to school with extra clothes in his backpack and he uses them frequently.Like your daughter it is only during the day never at night. We have tryed the Mirolax all that did was give him diarrhea, we tried the schedual that works if I am with him but not for school. We tried ignoring the problem to not bring attention to it. I am now starting to take away TV on the days he has accidents. If anyone knows if this acctually end please let me know I am at the end of my rope.

[Seven145]

When I was little, I had a lot of problems with wetting my pants at school and Dr.s were telling my parents I was trying to get attention or get out of school so they kept trying reward/consequence things for me...finally they got me to the Mayo Clinic, and it turned out my bladder hadn't been growing in accordance with the rest of my body and was way to small for my size...so it was something I had no control of. :o(  
I'd get by the dr and if there's no sign of bladder infections, ask if it's possible that her bladder is too small, they'll probably do an ultra sound..if that's the case, it'll save you guys a lot of time and stress... Good Luck!!

[freshparenting]

First, check her condition to her doctor. If everything is okay, then the problem is not on her urinary tracts. May be it's because she like playing so much that she doesn't miss everything if she has to go to the toilet. You should teach her to go to pee whenever she feels the urge to pee. Tell her that she can continue to play again after peeing and that her friends and her toys are still there when she comes back. Also tell her that if she doesn't want her friends make fun at her, she has to show that there won't be bedwetting again. You can also cooperate with her teacher to solve this problem and ask your daughter to tell her teacher whenever she wants to pee.

Good luck

[Afsaneh]

I have an 8 year old son with the same problem. He never used to wet his pant (day or night) until recently. He just wets a little bit (he is not peeing) and is happening frequently.
I have taken him to Dr. He has tested him for infection and there is no infection. My son is unfomfortable with this new change in him and is asking me why this is happening.
What other causes can this problem have?
Please let me know if anybody has found a solution for that.

Thanks

AF

[Stokesy80]

My 7 year old daughter wets herself, she stopped for a few months. She will be sitting on the stairs doing nothing and pee herself, then change and hope I blame our dog. I see her wet clothes and ask her why she did it and she replies "I don't Know". She doesn't have a problem at night because I wake her up at night to go. Any help would be great

[italian75]

I also have an 8 yr. old son  who has been doing this. I am unsure what to do. His Dr. checked him for constipation and no luck there. He had this issue roughly 6 months back and I thought it was finished. Now it has started all over this week. Any input or ideas on this would be great! Btw. my son is ADHD and also in a single parent environment.

[TayJaeMommy]

I brought my daughter to the Dr. she was cleared of any medical condition, so she is fine. However, she will not stop what she is doing to go pee. We  and her teachers tell her to go every half hour and still she pees in her pants now up to 4 times a day. We have never been able to get night time down... Which is fine I know she is only 4 1/2 . We have tried ever kind of reward and punishment. ignoring it, talking about it until we are blue in the face and nothing works.. We have her in panties and have a reward chard and literally nothing has worked... I know 99% of these accidents are preventable and 1% are accidents and we just don't know what to do anymore... Lossing toys, getting rewards, praise praise and more encouragement ...HELP nothing works!!!!! We know she can do it!!! she has pulled it together for months at a time then we end up back at square one.. With her peeing in her pants up to 4-6 times a day.. And all she will tell you is I didn't want to stop what I was doing, or I don't know why...We have been working on this since she 18 months  old when she started to show an interest.... HELP!!!!!!! Does anyone have anything that has worked...

Crying Mom!!!!

[JennaRKEW]

It seems as though there are a lot of us with the same problem but no solution!  I too have an 8-year-old daughter who pees and poops in her pants basically every day, sometimes 3 to 4 times in one day.  She wets the bed, too.  I kind of dismiss the night time thing because I wet the bed until I was like 10 or 11.  But during the day, never.  I too have tried everything from ignoring it to taking away privledges to praises when she stays dry, (very rare).  I even have her do her own laundry; wash dry and fold, if she has an accident.  But now we've graduated to lying about it because she doesn't want to do her laundry.  I now find old peed on clothes stuffed under her bed, or her sister's blanket she used to wipe her poop off with, (and her sister slept with the blanket for 3 days before I found it....yeah, I was livid!)  I have no idea what to do now.  I took her to the doctor and spent hundreds of dollars to try to figure this out.  She is completely fine medically.  When we ask her about it, she has no clear answer.  I would think the kids would make fun of her, but they don't.  And her teacher tries to cover it up so she doen't feel embarassed, but then she just thinks there's no problem.  I am completely at a loss.  I don't have money for diapers, either.  I will pray for all of you...please do the same for me.  I really hope that someone out there has a solution...

[CatiesMom]

My 8 year old daughter has the same problem.  She pees her pants every day more than a few times a day.  I took her to the Urologist and he stated that she was not emptying her bladder all of the way.  He wanted her to sit on the toilet a little longer to try to get everything out.  He also suggested that we take a tennis ball and put it in between her lets right above her knees 3 times a day to strengthen her muscles (sort of like Kiegal exercises).  He also said that we need to put her on a schedule but again like everyone else stated that is hard to adhere to when she is not with us so the accidents occur.
This is just about the most frustrating thing..I hope the above will help

[housebunny]

My son is 9 and we as well face this dilemma....He says nothing is wrong and he feels that I am making this a situation. He has accidents occasionally at night, but....when he is playing I notice him sqwirming...and I have to tell him to stop what he is doing and tell him to go to the little boys room. He thanks me everytime! I just don't know if he is super interested in what he is doing or do I need to take him to get checked out?  He also has ADHD...can this be a part of it
??? Help Please....

[lildebbie0506]

I have this problem too and just makes me want to cry.  My daughter will be 6 next week, and she will poop sometimes.  She give me different excuses.  Either she says she is upset, she didn't feel like she had to go, she is involved in what she is doing.  I try not to get upset , reward her, promising her something good.  It just doesn't seem to matter to her.  We have never really mastered the night thing..    We took her to the regular doctor and they did a uniary test and feeling her abdoman, don't know if we need to take her to the urologist or a psychologist...i am at my wits end.

[ATRB]

This might help:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis

[3xtfun]

I dont feel alone anymore.  It is early in the morning here and I cant sleep because my 6 year old son has been wetting himeslf during the day.  He has chronic constipation and sees a pediatric GI.  He says whe he gets constipated ,since it has been a lifetime thing for my son, his bowls dont always know when to send the urge to poo and his bladder is being pressed from the poo so he pees! He taked miralax every day at dinner.  He sits on the toilet every day after dinner and it was fine till july 3rd.  because he is peeing his pants again.  
At first ( a few years ago) I spanked him (back when I believed it was ok to spank) and then I was devistated to know that I was spanking him and yelling at him for something he had no control over (thats why we do time out now).  I will never forgive myself for that.   btw...my son is ADHD.  We have tried almost everything to encourage the bathroon.  I dont know how to fix this I am just learning how to handle it in a more positive way.  I still get mad at him and my DH is worse but this is a medical issue and we have to some how deal with it.  
I guess we are driving the 3.5 hours one way to see his ped gi doc again.  Ugh.
Anyone have anything to add?? Any help or suggestions?? A part of me just cant rap my head around this.  

[Sophia602]

I have a 8 year old son that has been wetting himself everyday for the past 2 years. I have taken him to the doctor several of times however they don't tell me nothing new. They can't explain why he is doing this at all. I have had sonograms done, urine testing, blood work everything even counseling. I have even taken him to a urinologist where they did a battery of test nothing. I also have done positive and negative reinforcement NOTHING can make him stop. I am so seriously fed up that I can't cope with it anymore. I have resulted to putting on a pull up when he goes to school so the kids won't tease him. When I ask him why your doing this he can't tell me why he just looks at me and starts crying. I hope some doctor out their might be reading these comments some how and atleast help us desperate parents with a answer. Best of luck to all of you. I feel your pain.

[oneother]

I am dealing with the same thing with my 6 year old. It is so frustrating. We are going back to his doctor next month to see if there is anything going on. I wish I had some advice for you. We have tried telling my son to go pee every recess at school, but he doesn't. We are getting so frustrated with all of this.

[mommyof2girls9n7]

My 9 yr old pees her pants daily, sometimes several times a day. she has done it for years, but now it's getting more frequent. She is highly embarrassed, and says she doesn't feel like she needs to go, until it's too late. She's had her urine tested several times, but they say nothing is wrong. Idk what to do for her. She stays constipated too, but if I give her the meds, it makes her have diareah so bad, she is scared she will poop on herself at school. I feel so bad for her.

[artmom2009]

It has been awhile, buy my son was  about 10 when he had an ongoing problem with soiling himself during the day. And the usual would happen, he would ignore it, and I would find it in the laundry or little bits of matter here and there. Finally we went to the doctor, he suggested a suppository for that night, but my son was too old for me to do that and he would not do it; we bought a laxitive to use that night and the next night, to get him back on schedule. he did not want to use the bathrooms at school - he hated the bathrooms at school.  We bought new underware and and talked about the problem and it went away. It had been going on for about 4 years before this.  That was the last of the problem.
I think this problem was not as bad as many of the problems I am reading about  in this forum. I am now researching why my niece has started to wet herself at age 7.

[mom_with_3_kids]

Miralax does not cause diarrhea unless there is constipation.  Miralax softens the stool.  If constipation is really bad, the soft stool will seep around the constipation and result in a diarrhea-like BM.  The 'cure' for this is to make sure the constipation gets cleared out.  Our doctor suggested enemas, 6 of them!  One a day for 3 days and then every-other day for the other 3 enemas.

My daughter is 13 and has ADHD and Aspergers.  She has wetting accidents caused by the combination of not wanting to stop what she is doing plus constipation.  Her urologist treated her for reflux for years.  (It was probably due to her holding in her urine so she didn't have to break away.)  Any medical issues are now ruled out.  This is 100% behavioral.  She was on timed voiding for so long, when she feels her bladder is full, she waits for someone to tell her to go to the bathroom.

She thinks it's OK to not change her clothes if she is wet so long as she sits on her foot or something so the chair doesn't get wet.  She recently ruined a pair of suede boot doing that.  Yesterday she was wet.  I told her to change her clothes.  Instead, she went to her room, sat on her bed and was reading.  She is in the 8th grade and on the honor roll.  She has 1 - 4 accidents daily and bedwets.  At school, she pulls her shirt down in back, wears a jacket around her waist or carries her books over her bottom to hide her accidents.

For Christmas this year, all I want is for the day-time accidents to stop.  Heck, I'll settle for once a week.  52 a year would be much more manageable than 15 - 20 per week.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

[biggordo]

hello all im a father with a 9 year old girl who seems to like peeing in her pants at school and home, she doesnt do it all the time only when she feels like she is going to miss a tv show or something important that her brothers or sister are doing,,,she will blame it on her siblings tieing up the restroom but we have two of them to use,,,i ask her why she does it or i ask her dont she know that is nasty and the only response i can get is " i dont know",,,when i confront her on it she will cry and say she is sorry  and say she cant help it but medical problems have been ruled out.

[Defeated52]

I came here looking for answers. My seven year old still is peeing and pooping on herself. She has demonstrated she can can use the bathroom consistently but then she'll just stop. We have had her checked by children's urology and she is fine. Like so many others here, she often just doesn't want to stop what she's doing. I'm afraid she lonely, she really has no friends except for her 4 year old brother. At her age the children can can already be cruel. I can't make her help herself.  At least I know I'm not alone. People just don't understand how this issue takes over a family. You can't let your child go to a birthday party without you there, what would happen if she poops her pants. It's awful. At least I know I'm not alone.