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My 8 year old pees her pants during the day
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My 8 year old pees her pants during the day

My 8 year old daughter frequently wets herself because she does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  She has done it at school, at home, at friends homes, pretty much anywhere she is.  It does not happen all the time.  When my wife and I question her she says she just couldn't hold it.  Any suggestions?
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164559_tn?1233711618
First I would have a medical examination just to rule out any problems.  

is she dry at night?
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Avatar_n_tn
Yes, she is dry at night.  She has never had a bed wetting problem.
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164559_tn?1233711618
Does this happen every day or once in awhile?  If it is just once in awhile I wouldn't worry.  Kids get busy and don't want to leave their play.
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree that if this is occuring infrequently, don't worry.  Its not uncommon for kids to not want to stop an activity to use the toilet.  However, if it has started to happen often she should be seen by her doctor to rule out any physical problems. Best wishes...
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212795_tn?1194956174
I agree - take her to the doctor to rule out a medical condition that could be causing this situation.  In addition, I don't think it is normal for an 8 year old to be peeing on themselves in the situations you've described as they generally get very embarrassed and teased by the other children - which is not a positive social experience.  Is your daughter feeling embarrassed?  

I would always send her out with a change of clothes in her backpack and a sweater just incase she has an accident.  I have seen this before with a child of her age, and she had a medical condition and was unable to hold her bladder or sense the urgency in her bladder.  This little girl was extremely embarrassed and this was a big issue for her.  We made a schedule for her to use the bathroom.  She went to the bathroom before meals and after meals, and once per hour - even if she didn't have to go, we made it a habbit for her to go to the bathroom.  This helped reduce the number of accidents.
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My 8 year old daughter ALWAYS has wet pants, day and night.  Pediatrician says she has Irritable Bowel Syndrome which causes her to become extremely constipated.  This "compacted bowel" presses on her bladder, forcing small amounts of urine to be squeezed out throughout the day.  Over the course of a day it amounts to quite a bit.  I now give her miralax every day after school.  If she gets too loose, I give her less.  I've decreased her dairy intake & given her a calcium supplement because dairy seems to worsen the constipation.  I can foresee bad days when she awakens with a tummyache and can't have a B.M.   I admit that she, too is so accustomed to wet pullups that she has no motivation to change out of them.  She also sleeps so hard that she wets almost nightly.  Pediatrician has me wake her up a little bit before I go to bed so as to send her potty and to pull her back from this deep sleep.
I wish you the best as I know how humiliating it is for not only your child, but for you the parent.  Other adults just don't understand why any child of 8 would have wet pants and can be rather unkind about it.
I hope this offers you a useful point of view.
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Avatar_n_tn
when i was around that age i had that problem not alot during the day but expecialy at night when i was sleeping my grandmother used to literly beat me for it and when they took me to the dr turned out i had an abnormaly small bladder and some times i jsut coulndt make it and when i was sleeping i didnt even know i had to go untill i woke up
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I have a six year old that started going potty in her pants.  She has always gone in her pants off and on for a couple of years now.  I took her to the doctor and she is completely fine medically, but muy daughter tells me that she doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go.  She only goes in her pants when she is doing something fun, like playing at the park or on the playground at school with her friends.  I explained to her that if she would go in the toilet she could come back to what she was doing and she wouldn't loose her turn or miss out on anything.  She could pick up where she left off, but she is still doing it.  Last night her rear end even burned and I had to put creme on it and I'm sure it is from them being wet at school and her not changing them.  I have put clean underwear in her backpack and she still doesn't change them, because she if afraid someone might see her get them.  I don't know what to do.  I do know I would never resort to diapers or pull-ups.  I want to help her, not degrade or humiliate her.  Any suggestions?
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Avatar_f_tn
i think you should consult your doctor.
i am a nurse and ive been talking 2 other patients who have children that do that.
they have all consulted their doctor.
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Avatar_n_tn
my six year old, out of the blue, started peeing on himself. i don't understand why and i need help. i took him to the doctor and had his urine tested. it had a little blood and protein in it but she said "nothing to worry about" the test results came back neg. when they sent it to the lab. What can i do? some days he has to change at least four times. Today i tried punishment by no tv time and he went outside to play and came back in wet. HELP! it's been going on for about 3 months. He started wetting the bed and then it stopped and now it's just in the day time and being wet is not bothering him now. he used to change immediatley. when he was potty traing he very rarley wet the bed at night and if he did he stripped his bed and got dry clothes and a blanket all by himself. We live in the woods so he has always stopped playing and went outside but now he doesn't.
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My 7 year old step daughter is peeing in her pants, and I had my mother try to talk to her and see why? My step daughter said she holds it because it feels good. Maybe the girls are having the same sensation. Now with my step son. He would pee in his pants b/c he didn't want to stop playing. So their father would spank him, but it never worked. So I started taking away his favorite toys and he would not get them back until he proved to me he would not pee in his pants again. It has been working so far and he just turned 5.
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Avatar_m_tn
My 8 year old daughter has the exact same problem.  She does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  And she does not wet the bed at night.  During the week, when she's at school, she always comes home with her underwear wet.  The weekends are the only time I do not have a problem with her because I am there to tell her to go to the bathroom.  Did your daughter's problem go away?  
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my son has the same problem he is turning 8 I send him to school with extra clothes in his backpack and he uses them frequently.Like your daughter it is only during the day never at night. We have tryed the Mirolax all that did was give him diarrhea, we tried the schedual that works if I am with him but not for school. We tried ignoring the problem to not bring attention to it. I am now starting to take away TV on the days he has accidents. If anyone knows if this acctually end please let me know I am at the end of my rope.
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Avatar_f_tn
When I was little, I had a lot of problems with wetting my pants at school and Dr.s were telling my parents I was trying to get attention or get out of school so they kept trying reward/consequence things for me...finally they got me to the Mayo Clinic, and it turned out my bladder hadn't been growing in accordance with the rest of my body and was way to small for my size...so it was something I had no control of. :o(  
I'd get by the dr and if there's no sign of bladder infections, ask if it's possible that her bladder is too small, they'll probably do an ultra sound..if that's the case, it'll save you guys a lot of time and stress... Good Luck!!
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Avatar_f_tn
First, check her condition to her doctor. If everything is okay, then the problem is not on her urinary tracts. May be it's because she like playing so much that she doesn't miss everything if she has to go to the toilet. You should teach her to go to pee whenever she feels the urge to pee. Tell her that she can continue to play again after peeing and that her friends and her toys are still there when she comes back. Also tell her that if she doesn't want her friends make fun at her, she has to show that there won't be bedwetting again. You can also cooperate with her teacher to solve this problem and ask your daughter to tell her teacher whenever she wants to pee.

Good luck
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Avatar_n_tn
I have an 8 year old son with the same problem. He never used to wet his pant (day or night) until recently. He just wets a little bit (he is not peeing) and is happening frequently.
I have taken him to Dr. He has tested him for infection and there is no infection. My son is unfomfortable with this new change in him and is asking me why this is happening.
What other causes can this problem have?
Please let me know if anybody has found a solution for that.

Thanks

AF
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My 7 year old daughter wets herself, she stopped for a few months. She will be sitting on the stairs doing nothing and pee herself, then change and hope I blame our dog. I see her wet clothes and ask her why she did it and she replies "I don't Know". She doesn't have a problem at night because I wake her up at night to go. Any help would be great
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767661_tn?1234843589
I also have an 8 yr. old son  who has been doing this. I am unsure what to do. His Dr. checked him for constipation and no luck there. He had this issue roughly 6 months back and I thought it was finished. Now it has started all over this week. Any input or ideas on this would be great! Btw. my son is ADHD and also in a single parent environment.
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I brought my daughter to the Dr. she was cleared of any medical condition, so she is fine. However, she will not stop what she is doing to go pee. We  and her teachers tell her to go every half hour and still she pees in her pants now up to 4 times a day. We have never been able to get night time down... Which is fine I know she is only 4 1/2 . We have tried ever kind of reward and punishment. ignoring it, talking about it until we are blue in the face and nothing works.. We have her in panties and have a reward chard and literally nothing has worked... I know 99% of these accidents are preventable and 1% are accidents and we just don't know what to do anymore... Lossing toys, getting rewards, praise praise and more encouragement ...HELP nothing works!!!!! We know she can do it!!! she has pulled it together for months at a time then we end up back at square one.. With her peeing in her pants up to 4-6 times a day.. And all she will tell you is I didn't want to stop what I was doing, or I don't know why...We have been working on this since she 18 months  old when she started to show an interest.... HELP!!!!!!! Does anyone have anything that has worked...

Crying Mom!!!!
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It seems as though there are a lot of us with the same problem but no solution!  I too have an 8-year-old daughter who pees and poops in her pants basically every day, sometimes 3 to 4 times in one day.  She wets the bed, too.  I kind of dismiss the night time thing because I wet the bed until I was like 10 or 11.  But during the day, never.  I too have tried everything from ignoring it to taking away privledges to praises when she stays dry, (very rare).  I even have her do her own laundry; wash dry and fold, if she has an accident.  But now we've graduated to lying about it because she doesn't want to do her laundry.  I now find old peed on clothes stuffed under her bed, or her sister's blanket she used to wipe her poop off with, (and her sister slept with the blanket for 3 days before I found it....yeah, I was livid!)  I have no idea what to do now.  I took her to the doctor and spent hundreds of dollars to try to figure this out.  She is completely fine medically.  When we ask her about it, she has no clear answer.  I would think the kids would make fun of her, but they don't.  And her teacher tries to cover it up so she doen't feel embarassed, but then she just thinks there's no problem.  I am completely at a loss.  I don't have money for diapers, either.  I will pray for all of you...please do the same for me.  I really hope that someone out there has a solution...
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My 8 year old daughter has the same problem.  She pees her pants every day more than a few times a day.  I took her to the Urologist and he stated that she was not emptying her bladder all of the way.  He wanted her to sit on the toilet a little longer to try to get everything out.  He also suggested that we take a tennis ball and put it in between her lets right above her knees 3 times a day to strengthen her muscles (sort of like Kiegal exercises).  He also said that we need to put her on a schedule but again like everyone else stated that is hard to adhere to when she is not with us so the accidents occur.
This is just about the most frustrating thing..I hope the above will help
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My son is 9 and we as well face this dilemma....He says nothing is wrong and he feels that I am making this a situation. He has accidents occasionally at night, but....when he is playing I notice him sqwirming...and I have to tell him to stop what he is doing and tell him to go to the little boys room. He thanks me everytime! I just don't know if he is super interested in what he is doing or do I need to take him to get checked out?  He also has ADHD...can this be a part of it
??? Help Please....
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I have this problem too and just makes me want to cry.  My daughter will be 6 next week, and she will poop sometimes.  She give me different excuses.  Either she says she is upset, she didn't feel like she had to go, she is involved in what she is doing.  I try not to get upset , reward her, promising her something good.  It just doesn't seem to matter to her.  We have never really mastered the night thing..    We took her to the regular doctor and they did a uniary test and feeling her abdoman, don't know if we need to take her to the urologist or a psychologist...i am at my wits end.
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This might help:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis
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I dont feel alone anymore.  It is early in the morning here and I cant sleep because my 6 year old son has been wetting himeslf during the day.  He has chronic constipation and sees a pediatric GI.  He says whe he gets constipated ,since it has been a lifetime thing for my son, his bowls dont always know when to send the urge to poo and his bladder is being pressed from the poo so he pees! He taked miralax every day at dinner.  He sits on the toilet every day after dinner and it was fine till july 3rd.  because he is peeing his pants again.  
At first ( a few years ago) I spanked him (back when I believed it was ok to spank) and then I was devistated to know that I was spanking him and yelling at him for something he had no control over (thats why we do time out now).  I will never forgive myself for that.   btw...my son is ADHD.  We have tried almost everything to encourage the bathroon.  I dont know how to fix this I am just learning how to handle it in a more positive way.  I still get mad at him and my DH is worse but this is a medical issue and we have to some how deal with it.  
I guess we are driving the 3.5 hours one way to see his ped gi doc again.  Ugh.
Anyone have anything to add?? Any help or suggestions?? A part of me just cant rap my head around this.  
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I have a 8 year old son that has been wetting himself everyday for the past 2 years. I have taken him to the doctor several of times however they don't tell me nothing new. They can't explain why he is doing this at all. I have had sonograms done, urine testing, blood work everything even counseling. I have even taken him to a urinologist where they did a battery of test nothing. I also have done positive and negative reinforcement NOTHING can make him stop. I am so seriously fed up that I can't cope with it anymore. I have resulted to putting on a pull up when he goes to school so the kids won't tease him. When I ask him why your doing this he can't tell me why he just looks at me and starts crying. I hope some doctor out their might be reading these comments some how and atleast help us desperate parents with a answer. Best of luck to all of you. I feel your pain.
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I am dealing with the same thing with my 6 year old. It is so frustrating. We are going back to his doctor next month to see if there is anything going on. I wish I had some advice for you. We have tried telling my son to go pee every recess at school, but he doesn't. We are getting so frustrated with all of this.
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Avatar_f_tn
My 9 yr old pees her pants daily, sometimes several times a day. she has done it for years, but now it's getting more frequent. She is highly embarrassed, and says she doesn't feel like she needs to go, until it's too late. She's had her urine tested several times, but they say nothing is wrong. Idk what to do for her. She stays constipated too, but if I give her the meds, it makes her have diareah so bad, she is scared she will poop on herself at school. I feel so bad for her.
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Avatar_f_tn
It has been awhile, buy my son was  about 10 when he had an ongoing problem with soiling himself during the day. And the usual would happen, he would ignore it, and I would find it in the laundry or little bits of matter here and there. Finally we went to the doctor, he suggested a suppository for that night, but my son was too old for me to do that and he would not do it; we bought a laxitive to use that night and the next night, to get him back on schedule. he did not want to use the bathrooms at school - he hated the bathrooms at school.  We bought new underware and and talked about the problem and it went away. It had been going on for about 4 years before this.  That was the last of the problem.
I think this problem was not as bad as many of the problems I am reading about  in this forum. I am now researching why my niece has started to wet herself at age 7.
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Miralax does not cause diarrhea unless there is constipation.  Miralax softens the stool.  If constipation is really bad, the soft stool will seep around the constipation and result in a diarrhea-like BM.  The 'cure' for this is to make sure the constipation gets cleared out.  Our doctor suggested enemas, 6 of them!  One a day for 3 days and then every-other day for the other 3 enemas.

My daughter is 13 and has ADHD and Aspergers.  She has wetting accidents caused by the combination of not wanting to stop what she is doing plus constipation.  Her urologist treated her for reflux for years.  (It was probably due to her holding in her urine so she didn't have to break away.)  Any medical issues are now ruled out.  This is 100% behavioral.  She was on timed voiding for so long, when she feels her bladder is full, she waits for someone to tell her to go to the bathroom.

She thinks it's OK to not change her clothes if she is wet so long as she sits on her foot or something so the chair doesn't get wet.  She recently ruined a pair of suede boot doing that.  Yesterday she was wet.  I told her to change her clothes.  Instead, she went to her room, sat on her bed and was reading.  She is in the 8th grade and on the honor roll.  She has 1 - 4 accidents daily and bedwets.  At school, she pulls her shirt down in back, wears a jacket around her waist or carries her books over her bottom to hide her accidents.

For Christmas this year, all I want is for the day-time accidents to stop.  Heck, I'll settle for once a week.  52 a year would be much more manageable than 15 - 20 per week.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.
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hello all im a father with a 9 year old girl who seems to like peeing in her pants at school and home, she doesnt do it all the time only when she feels like she is going to miss a tv show or something important that her brothers or sister are doing,,,she will blame it on her siblings tieing up the restroom but we have two of them to use,,,i ask her why she does it or i ask her dont she know that is nasty and the only response i can get is " i dont know",,,when i confront her on it she will cry and say she is sorry  and say she cant help it but medical problems have been ruled out.
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I came here looking for answers. My seven year old still is peeing and pooping on herself. She has demonstrated she can can use the bathroom consistently but then she'll just stop. We have had her checked by children's urology and she is fine. Like so many others here, she often just doesn't want to stop what she's doing. I'm afraid she lonely, she really has no friends except for her 4 year old brother. At her age the children can can already be cruel. I can't make her help herself.  At least I know I'm not alone. People just don't understand how this issue takes over a family. You can't let your child go to a birthday party without you there, what would happen if she poops her pants. It's awful. At least I know I'm not alone.
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Wow, I feel so relieved that other families are going though the same issues.  My daughter is almost 8 and has had problems since she was almost 3.  She potty trained day and night by 2 years old, then suddenly that all changed and she started wetting.  The wetting got worse and worse and at certain times she soils herself aswell.  We have tried all avenues for information starting with health visitors, doctors, urinary clinics etc who have suggested everything I have read above, (we've tried it all).  Yet, here we are still having problems.  What I can't understand is that sometimes she wets or soils herself and doesn't tell anyone until we smell it, it's disgusting.  She gets tummy ache all the time, but, has been checked out by our doctor?  I wish somebody had some answers as it makes life so difficult.  
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I have a six year old that has been doing this for over a year now. I'm REALLY glad I'm not alone. I have had her to the doctor, pediatric urologist, psychiatrist....all with no results..well....other than the urologist telling me that it's a stage that all kids go through and she will outgrow it. Well, it's been over a year with no change, except for it getting worse. I've even tried giving her a dollar for every day that she stays dry all day. That worked for about a week, then she had to pay ME a dollar everyday that she was wet. Needless to say she ran out of money real quick. Take away toys...no biggie to her. TV? Oh well.
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Avatar_f_tn
While we didn't have this problem, exactly, I did notice my daughter had little 'warning' when we were out and about and 'suddenly' would excruciatingly need to go to the bathroom - very problematic!  

We started using a 1-10 scale and I would ask her every 20-30 minutes what her 'pee pee status' is - which she found funny and understood exactly.  Anything that was 6 or greater warranted an immediate pee break, if at home, or we would start looking for a bathroom if out in public.  This seemed to refocus her attention on her bladder, even while doing very fun activities, and helped us tremendously!

Also, ask her if she ever put anything 'up' her 'pee pee hole' (or whatever term you use) - I can't believe the number of children I've seen with foreign bodies in their bladder, that can cause sudden urgency and most of them remember and can tell you!  
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I'd just like to say THANK YOU! My husband and I have been dealing with this problem quietly for over a year now and were feeling very alone.
My 8 year old son has consistantly wet his pants at school, friends houses, and pretty much anywhere we go. He has told us that he just doesn't want to stop playing, so he just goes in his pants.
I've tried to stress to him that kids can be very mean and will start making fun of him. He just doesn't seem to get it! Every morning we go over the same thing, going potty every break with no exceptions. Some days it works and some days it doesn't.
Although I wouldn't wish this on any parent, it is nice to know we aren't alone.
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Hi,

    I was reading your posting about your 8 year old who pees and poops on herself,  I have an 8 year old who does the exact same thing and I am at a total loss as to what I need to do to resolve the issue.  As I was reading your posting I laughed to myself because you described exactly what my daughter is going through and doing. My daughter has also went to the point of becoming aggressive with her younger brother for telling on her. I thought she would become embarrassed by the whole thing and of course she has not.  I have made her wash her own laundry, clean herself up, taking away privileges, and even spanking.  I have even tried to bribe her, with things if she can go a whole week without doing it. I know she can because I have seen her do it.  I am at a complete loss, and if anyone can help that would be great.  
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I to have a daughter 6 who wets herself or poops her pants but it isnt a medical problem.  Now i know how u all feal and it is embarising and iv even had people call social services on me because of it but they cant even find out why.  Me and the mother dont live together and i make shure when i have her wich is 1-24 times a year i make her go every hour on the hour nomater what and by the 2nd day left she is going on her own but i dont give up cause thats what she wants.  When i get her back she is back to peeing and pooping her self agan.  I try to treat my childeren like i want to be treated and not talk like there a baby but my ex dose and i think that makes a diference as well.  Now some of u probibly dont know that ur doing the baby tone and some probibly arnt but are uther people? if so and u ketch it get it to stop it will help trust me and dont give up i half to go through that 1-24 times a year and yes im fighting for costedy.
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2 years and counting..... That's how long my 5.5 year old daughter has been doing this (2 other kids, DS-15, DD-3, no issues, 3 year old trained herself, just said I'm using the potty today at age 2 and never turned back). We've done the tests and the studies and no issues Dr. says. It's all about her making the choice to do other things moe important to her than going to pee and sometimes poop (really not getting the poop thing although infrequent, she is content to sit in it for hours if not discovered). We have had no life changes, moves or any of the other common stress related issues. We went back to pull ups because it was becoming a sanitary issue for the teacher. NOW she will just continue to pee in them until she pees through them. Doesn't matter how raw her little bottom gets, she just walks funny so it doesn't hurt as bad. The teacher/principle have given her permission to go to the potty whenever she feels she needs to go...she won't go or if she does she will just sit there and not go pee.. In the beginning she would make a effort to send her to the potty every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Then she started taking longer and longer to come back. The teacher would send the assistant to check on her and she would fnd her in the bathroom playing, in the office talking to the principal or other teachers. We got her one of those potty watches that you can set alarms for the entire day...she would either ignore it or we would spend time after school everyday playing watch hunt. The kids say something to her about wearing pampers and she just tells them "SO" or " I don't care"  ( a good quality under different circumstances)...Today they sent her home from school and will do so everyday she wets herself and doesn't makes the effort to go to the potty or get dry clothes....but what 5 year old wouldn't want mommy and daddy to leave work and spend the day at home with them??? I'M AT MY WITS END!!!

I'm torn between being happy to find these posts so that I now know I'm not alone in this situation and being angry that there are so many parents having the same issue and no feasible solutions besides just wait......so easy to say when you are not dealing with the emotional ups and downs and tears.. TIme voiding, Myralax, potty watches, pull ups, bladder probe games/tests,  BAH HUMBUG!!!! Dr. says my last resort is putting a Cath on her every few hours during the day to kep her dry CAN YOU SAY PAINFUL FOR HER AND ME (DH isn't down with being the one tasked with doing it so mommy will be the one inserting the daily Cath) But after today, I'm seriously thinking we are there, even have a call into her Urologist to get all the details... This is our second school ( the first was just daycare and they started complaining about having to frequently call in (pay) someone to clean the carpets in her classroom) and they have been more than helpful. I know they are confused as well and as a Private Catholic School, I know they want the best for her ( the other place could obviously care less). They know each kid and parent by name, it's amazing. She is very smart (sometimes too smart, can't spell things around her anymore thanks to Phonics) adn she loves her school/teacher.  Sometimes I think this is part of the problem and from ready other post, high intelligence seems to common in kids with this issue. She is a social butterfly, tons OMG's, Awesomes with friends and hugs for everyone all the time...She is also way off the growth chart.... At her 5 year old check up she was above the average height for a 7 year old and has grown atleast an inch since then. Any other kids with this issue, taller than most their age?? Her bladder size is normal, although she feels the urge to pee at about half the fullness of most kids her size, so she has the urge to go more often, just doesn't go..... Such a caring, loving, beautiful child XOXOXO
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Thanks for allowing me to vent, despite the spelling errors as I type with emotion and tears. I have a migrane (migraine) now!
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My daughter is 6 and will very soon be 7. She has been wetting for this all along as well. She has wet her pants at least 5 to 10 times a day. I have had her tested and in with the urologist. At first there was an issue with a blockage in her bowel but that has since been remedied and she has now been cleared of all medical issues. But the wetting continues! I am ready to look into renal problems but not expecting anything new. Our Dr. gave us little tricks and tips to help "get it all out" but nothing has worked. I am at a loss.! It has become a health issue and she has begun to routinely get UTI's
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I too have a 5.5 year old with the same problem!  Night and day.  She has so many amazing characteristics about her and then there is this!  She could have gone to school this year but because of this problem I held her back to see if one more year would help.  I am so glad that I am not the only parent going through this but so discouraged that no one has an answer!  I went to my library to look for more information about this.  They had one book that was written in the 1970's.  This problem is fairly common obviously, why do we not have answers!!  Has anyone looked in to the Enuresis Center?  www.nobedwetting.com/ I talked with them over the phone their program is very expensive but they have a 95% success rate.  There are two companies like this that I have found they both have success rates in the 90%s and one has a money back guarantee.  The guy I talked to told me that the reason kids that pee the bed sometimes pee during the day too is because they don't use their muscles at night so during the day they are just as weak.  It made sense.  I too had a problem when I was younger and I just had to "grow out of it".  This guy was telling me things that I felt were true because of my own experiences.  He said to try kegal excersises even explained to me how to explain it to her.  We have tried doing the exercises ... maybe she wasn't doing them right but it didn't work.  So confused about what to do... I have been to doctors, even one that isn't exactly "conventional" however have proven to be right with problems my Mom, Dad, both sisters, my husband and I had.    (I really believe in this guy!) He checked out my daughter and said she had a bacteria in her that made it difficult to tell when she has to go.  He gave us some herbal stuff that tastes horrible and she has to keep in under her tongue for 30 seconds.  Well I forced her to do that for about 3 weeks and when I didn't see any progress I gave up.  I don't know what is worse... having her wet all day and night or holding her down while I stick that stuff in her mouth!  So I took her to the pediatrician.  They tested her they didn't find anything.  So confused about what to do next.  I also thought about the vibraLite watch.  Anyone tried that?  I know it won't solve the problem but if we could at least prevent some of the accidents I would be so grateful!!!  Any help would be appreciated!  Please Please please!!  
Crying desperate mom!
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My 7 year old daughter has been dealing with this problem every since potty training as well. It is nice to see that I'm not alone, but it's discouraging that no one seems to have found a solution. She does not have any problems with bowel accidents, but has been peeing her pants on a regular basis since being potty trained. She has had brief periods where she was doing better, and would actually get herself to the bathroom to pee, but those are few and far between.

As for the Enuresis Center, we did that last year with her. She had been an every night bedwetter, and it seemed to solve that problem. Then it came back, and we started using an alarm with her. She doesn't wet the bed with the alarm on, but when we try to go off the alarm she starts wetting again- which leads me to believe that it is largely behavioral at this point. Bedwetting does run in my husband's family, so I'm sure it wasn't all behavioral to begin with. I am planning to follow up with them again, but the problem is actually making her do all the work that goes with it.

She is in first grade. Last year in kindergarten she had many accidents, more than one a week (though some weeks she would have none, it seems to go in phases). This year, thankfully, she has only had one accident in school, but is often wet by the time we get home. She almost never uses the bathroom in school, and I suspect that the only times she does are the times when she needs to have a bowel movement. We have a rule that she needs to use the bathroom twice per day in school, but she doesn't.

At home, she will pee and just sit in it until someone notices. When I tell her she's had an accident, she will cry and insist that she had no idea. I can't imagine that this is true, it's like she is in total denial.

She says she can't tell that she needs to go, at all. And that she can't tell when she has had an accident.

I have no idea what to do. I know that it's hurting her self-esteem and her confidence terribly. She is a very bright girl, has been reading since before she was 4 years old, does well in school. She has never been diagnosed with anything, but I have suspected ADD. I don't know if there's a connection to that, though. If I thought that ADD meds would help with this problem, I would put her on them in an instant. This has to be so hard on her, and it is heartbreaking for me.
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I am so sorry that you all are going through the same thing. My son is 8. He has been on ADD medication for 2 years now and we have also tried the Miralax, various stool softners, etc. Nothing has worked for us. He wets daily, several times a day. He also wets at night, but like some other parents say...this is the least of my worries. I can so deal with that. It's the day time that kills us. He will deny knowing he is wet and say he didn't know he had to go. He has been tested and all results came back fine. The doctors don't know what to do either. I just get the ole "He will eventually grow out of it...when he gets old enough to be embarrassed" Are you kidding me? He is 8 and doesn't care. Has anyone tried food allergy testing? I am thinking this could be my next cross my fingers and hope for a cure. But as sad as this sounds, I am glad to know that we aren't the only ones suffering out here. I will keep you all in my prayers and hope that God fixes this for our children! I can't imagine what they are going through. Because it kills me!
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Reading this forum has given me so much hope... I had no idea the number of families going through this.

I have a little girl (now 7) who is and always has been a day time wetter.

She is taller than average, super intelligent and every post above summarizes the experiences we are having with this -  even the responses my daughter provides when this happens.

I have always held back on taking her to doctors for fear that it may cause her stress (and lead to more accidents)... Last week we had her first test for UTI; negative results.  And we have an appointment next week with a pediatric urologist, where we will test for the small bladder (thanks for mentioning that).

That will be all the probing we will do. When (if) 'medical conditions' are ruled out, then I will just do what seems right - be her mom, and love her, and support her and help her get through this as best we can... together, as a family.
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I have an 8 year old daughter that is going threw the same thing she is started to pee on her pants i feel bad for her she says that thier little accidents that happened in school and she dosent feel like peeing and bye the time she notice she is already peed it has me real worried and this is only happening in school she does not wet the bed and at home she does it very little i am contensly telling her to drink water i dont know what else to do.
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I have an 8 1/2 yr old daughter who also wets herself on occasion.  l know it is just because she is having fun and does not want to take time out to go.  I was the same way as a child, although I stopped around 4 or 5 yrs old.  My mom offered me a treat if I went without being told (it was on the honor system and worked great).  For my daughter I have to admit, I have been concerned, but by reading the posts here I see that it will resolve  itself and there is no need to worry.  In some ways I am comforted that she is not horribly humiliated because it is another example of her strong personality, able to get through tough times and not let it get her down.  I have her clean up her own messes, so she also learns responsibility and has time to think about taking time out to go in the future.  

To TaeJay, I think your daughter maybe stressed out by the whole situation.  Back off for a little while.  Let her wear pull ups.  Don't talk about it at all.  Just tell her that when she is ready she can wear panties again.  I admit that I started my daughter potty training at 18 months as well.  She did great for 6 months and then was constantly having accidents.  She just needed a break.  It was too much pressure for her (a true perfectionist).  So we learned to ease up and she is learning to not be so perfectionistic as well.  I hope this helps someone out there.  Thanks to all the previous posters for the help as well!
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i am glad i found this forum and know i am not alone.  my daughter also pees and occasionally poops on herself. she is currently 9 years old. we have been dealing with this since i can remember, don't feel my daughter was ever potty trained. she has daytime and night time accidents.  we just went to her ped. uriologist to be told after a urodynamics study was done on her, that she is dealing with 3 things: constipation, not emptying her bladder all the way and an overactive bladder.  he suggests we see a ped. gastro. doctor about the constipation.  once the constipation is taken care of, and she still has accidents, we can look more into why the accidents still occur.  we have tried different meds. already, even miralax, which didn't change her bowels at all.  he suggested a preventative med. to start taking at night, to prevent any bacterial infections, which she currently has and is on an antibiotic for.  she has had ultrasounds, vcug, mri...don't know!  wish i did have an answer....we continue to deal with it.  just know now, i am not alone in this.
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My daughter just turned 8 she has been having this same problem for last few yrs. Feel so much better after reading everyones posts to know she isnt the only one. I too have tried all I know to do. She has been to multiple drs and most times she has a UTI but after admin antibiotics and it going away drs tell me she is just going thru a phase and it will pass. She has had many tests run on her but all have come back with nothing wrong. She is overweight for her age and doesnt have BMs the way that she needs to I dont think. She also says when asked why did she not go to the bathroom that "she didnt realize that she needed to go" this also while playing with other children. She is a hard sleeper and I know this is part of the reason she wets at night. But reading these posts has helped. I think now Im going to try the Miralax daily and help her with her weight and see if this helps.
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Thank you all for let me know that I am not alone on this.  
I have a 6 year old so to be 7 who been wetting her pants for over a year now.  It has gotten worse lately.  Since the begining of the year she has gone in her pants over 30 times in school.  The school has requested she wear pull-up to school.  Ever since she stared the pull-up she now started poohing in the pull-up too.  I am at my wits end.  The Dr. said there is nothing wrong with her.  I have no insurance and had to shell out over 700.00 at the urologist to find nothing was wrong with her.  The urologist suggest she have biofeedback and a pee flow test.  I said when I have insurance I would think about it.  When I ask my daughter why she pees in her pants her answer is she didn't feel it.  She is not constipated to my knowledge. One Dr. suggested I teach her keogels but how do you teach a 7 year old how to hold there pee in mid swing and then release.  When they can't control when they go?    Normaly she is fine on the weekends and at night it is when she is at school there is a problem.  The teacher tells her ever hour to go to the bathroom.  But she dosn't have the time to make sure she is going.  Forget about asking for an aid to assit on this matter the school is cutting them left and right.  The school feels the child should have a control on there bowels by the time they enter kindergarden.  And my daughter is finishing first grade.  The teacher has done very well at covering up for my daughters accidents but soon the kids will figure out what is happening and then they will start picking on her.  She is a very shy girl and I thing when they start to pick on her whe will crawl in deeper in a shell.  
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I had no idea so many parents were going through the same thing. My daughter is almost 8 and has been wetting her pants frequently for the past 2 years. She does not wet at night - she will wake me to go during the night. I have taken her favourite toys away, made it so she can pause tv and offered rewards for not wetting but nothing seems to be working. I have even made her go every hour but she says she doesn't need to go and then will wet herself. I am extremely frustrated as she was completely toilet trained by the age of 2. Doctors say there is nothing wrong. I have had urine tests and ultrasounds done to rule medical conditions out. Yesterday again she wet at school. I asked her if she was embarrassed and she said no. I am worried she will be teased at school. Any suggestions would be great.
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I am happy to know I am not alone!  My 7 year old will pee and sometimes poop his pants because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing to use the restroom.  We have talked to the Dr about this for a couple years now.  My sister talked with her son, who is now 19 and used to have this issue, as to why he used to do it (until about 6th grade) and he had no insight for me.  Her son has ADHD and she did not know if that was part of the reasoning why he did it.  My son has a type of Epilepsy which can cause nighttime wetting, but it should not cause him to wet himself during the day.  When I ask my son why he does it I always get the same "I don't know" response.  He says he knows when he has to go, albeit he waits until the last possible second when he does go in the toilet.  My Dr said there is a medication kids can take for this situation, however we're still trying to get his Epilepsy medication at the right level so she didn't want to put him on something right now.  She suggested that if it keeps happening to go see a pediatric counselor, which I think will be my next step.  He has had an x-ray to check and make sure things look ok and they did.  I tried an ice cream reward, again the other day, but within one day he had already had an accident.  I don't know what else to do.  
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Wow, its amazing to know I am not alone in this...I have 2 daughters 7 and 4 and both were potty trained at age 2 and once they hit 3 started peeing during the day and at night. I have taken both to the Dr. and my oldest was originally diagnosed with urinary tract reflux (urine travels up before coming down) and was perscribed medication, which at age 3, she hated. I stopped giving her the meds because she refused to take it, and just decided to deal with it on my own. Then I moved and took her to a new Dr. who found nothing to be wrong with her. I have trid absolutly everythint! Recently we purchased a bedwetting monitor for her to wear at night and low and behold it helped her and suddenly she stopped wetting all together! I still can't believe it! My little one was diagnosed with overactive bladder, and is now on medication, but she still wets all day and night.  She really doesn't care though, which worries me. I hope that someday there will be more help for parents like us!
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I have the same problem with my 5 year old. I have taken her for tests and ultra sounds. She has been put on medication and taken off of them. She had blood in her urine but none of the tests told why. I'm just so upset that I cant help her. I don't know what to do. She has small accidents all day every day. In one day she goes through 15 to 20 pairs of underwear. She doesnt like having wet underwear on (I dont blame her) so I know it bugs her. I just wish someone somewhere knew how to help all these kids and families. I feel helpless, but not alone anymore. Thanks everyone.
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I came across everyones comments here in this community.
I would also like to know what to I have a daughter who is almost 9 and she wets herself every day multiple times.
Back when she was in 1st grade she would stay dry for a couple weeks and then back to wetting she went. Now she doesn't stay dry at all and if so it is rare.
I don't know what has caused this in her, but I sure wish I did.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through this.
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My daughter will be 8 soon and starting 3rd grade. She has many potty accidents and the smell is very strong, this has been going on since Kindergarten. She was fully potty and poop trained by 2 or 2 and 1/2. We took her to a urologist last year and had a sonogram, everything was normal. Now, her potty accidents are compiled with small poopy accidents! It is terrible and sometimes by the time we are home and I can bathe her, it is very painful. I guess we are going back to the doctor again. Some of these posts are old, has anything changed? Do we have any answers? I don't know whether to punish her or not??? She does not get embarrassed. She is very smart and has many friends, and she is very active and eats well, although not much. She is very skinny and tall.  She has regular BMs everyday, not constipated. I am with you all hanging out at that place called " The Wits End" Help!!
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I have the same problem with my almost 7 years old daughter.  She was potty trained by the age of 3 and have been stay dried for years.  But she started peeing on herself last year.  I took her to the Dr. and nothing wrong with her.  But she started peeing on herself daily and many times during the day at school or at home for almost a year now. she has to be told to go to the restroom so many times, and when being told, she said she doesn't feel like going to the restroom.   When asking her why she pees in her pant and she told me she doesn't know why.  I used the punish/reward system but didn't work.  I feel so helpless.
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I can't offer any help, but I thought I had a problem with my son who enjoys sucking his thumb (age 11, 6th grade), I'll take this problem any day.  Good luck to you all, but there is one thing I noticed, and that is that the children are all the same age, evidently, they do grow out of it; the other thing is to stop wasting money on the medical doctors, it is a psychological situation.
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Wow... I've been going through the same things as everyone here, lots of pee accidents for my 6 year old during the day. She'll sit in wet panties until someone notices and tells her to change. We've started making her take a shower everytime she wets herself. She's been on medication thru the pediatric urologist for over 6 mos now and altho the accidents aren't as bad as they were a year ago, there are still 2-3 each day. The doctor recommended trying a physical therapist who specifically deals with urinary incontinence. We're going for an evaluation soon. We've also started seeing a behaviorist to help all of us deal with the "Oh, I'm wet?" reaction. It's affecting her 4 and 2 year old sisters, who now think that it's ok to be wet. Hopefully in a year from now, we'll be in a much better situation. My advice is to seek out a different pediatric urologist that you feel more comfortable with. We're on our 3rd and are finally getting some answers to our questions of what to do. Also, I'm interested in the physical therapy approach. Wish us luck! And good luck to all of you. It's so nice to know that we're not alone in this.
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I'm def. not feeling alone anymore!
My daughter will be 7 the end of October and she's wetting in her pants still.  She has went through "sperts" since being potty trained.  She wet the bed for a long time and then stopped but stateed wetting during the day. VERY frusterating! I am embarresed for her and I feel like I am doing something wrong myself!  She is always very involved in whatever she is doing and although I do not get an answer from her as to why she does this I've assumed she doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom!? She has also be recently diagnoised with ADD.  I have taken her to the doctor to see if she had any urinary problems. Her doctor told me she is like any other woman in america.. and is too busy.  The only difference is that we can hold it and she can't.  I just wish so bad that I would stop.  I get tired of leaving what we are doing or yelling at her because, once again, she has had an accident! =(
Has taking away priviledges worked for anyone? We've tried this.. we've tried making her clean herself up.. we've tried time outs... nothing seems to work! I think it's very exhausting for everyone involved!!
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I am a step-mother to an 8 year-old who has been peeing in his pants, during the day only, since I met his father. It has been almost three years now. My husband and I are so frustrated over the situation that it has simply become an argument between. I was thankful to read these posts and although I still have no idea what to do about the situation, since we have exhausted just about every option at this point, I feel like maybe I need to step back and try very hard not to be upset with my step-son or argue with my husband over it. I will say that my step-son also has ADHD and perhaps that is part of it. I noticed several posts that mention that. I will say that his doctor has not indicated that to be something that presents in a child with ADHD, but I will be doing some further investigation into that theory. Thank you all for sharing your stories and best of luck to you.
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My stepdaughter who is 5 years old has been wetting hersef a lot also. Her father and i dont know what to do anymore. When we ask why she does it she says she doesnt want to stop what she is doing.Also she says he is afraid of the automatic toilets, but only the red flashing light on the backof them. So because of this she wont go to the bathroom anywhere there are the automatic toilets. If we are in the car she wont let us know she has to use the bathroom.Is their anyone else who has had the same problem with their child being afraid of the automatic toilets and what did you do to get them comfortable. No matter what i try she kicks and screams and refuses to use the toilet. Please help!!
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I don't want to offend anyone by this comment because there are a ton of different reasons for why kids wet their pants but I do want to mention that as painful as it may be to look into, occassionally children wet their pants because they have or are being sexually abused. I am in no way accusing anyone, but speaking from experience. After I was sexually abused I wet myself often because I had decided if I made myself gross I wouldn't be wanted. Please pleas don't think that I am saying this IS happening to your children but I do want to let you all know that it is a very real possibility for SOME kids.
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I dont know what to do!!  My 8 yr old still has pee accidents, and always poo!!  Her pediatrician has had me have her wear panty liners for the poo accidents.  She was born with a sysndrome and her anus was displaced at birth.  She will always have constipation issies but the pee issues is gettin way out of hand.  Kids are beginning to make fun of her, e.t.c...What to do?
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I saw that you are a nurse. And I had a question for you. My daughter is 6 she has been potty trained since she was 3. She has been getting Uti's since she was potty trained. Just recently she started having accidents almost evry day. I took her to the doctors and they thought she had a uti so they put her on meds but then a couple days later they called and said it wasn't a uti so they said to stop all meds. I did so and as soon as I stopped the meds she started back up having accidents. What's going on. She has never been like that before
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I decided to comment here - even though it's an old post - because I read this post when I was at my wits end a couple of months ago. And quite a few others like it. And even though it's always good to know that your child isn't the only one with the problem, usually noone updates these posts when the problem is fixed or goes away. So when you're desperate for answers, all you can find is endless stories of people in the same position saying they don't know what to do either!

My daughter is 5 years 10 months and has been wetting herself pretty much daily for close to 7 months now. She was better at home than at school, but that was only because it took too long to get permission to go at school and rules like "sit cross legged when listening to the teacher" and "no running in the corridors" weren't helping her either.

She also went through 2 periods of soiling herself very regularly which was just utterly heartbreaking for me.

I just came from the paediatrician and everything makes sense now. This is the summary of the diagnosis:

She has an overactive bladder. It means the bladder capacity is smaller than usual and the bladder doesn't relax properly. It is not known what causes this but quite common, especially in girls at this age. It can be tested by keeping a diary of fluid-intake and pee-volume for a couple of days. This will show if they have a unusually small bladder capacity.

There is a treatment too! They can give bladder relaxants - don't have the prescription yet - that will allow the bladder to relax and increase it's volume. These are harmless to use as the bladder muscle is unique in its kind and can therefor easily be targetted.

Constipation and faecal impactation make the issue worse also and can result in soiling if it goes on for too long. Unless the child has an unusual diet, these are usually caused by the child getting into the habit of holding on too long and ignoring the brain telling them they have to poo. If they do this often and consistently, the brain will start ignoring the signals, the bowel will fill up with poo and stretch and poo will leak out without the child even being aware. The full bowel also puts pressure on the bladder which makes the symptoms of the overactive bladder worse. This needs to be treated with stool softeners, which are also harmless to use long-term. Usually keeping the stools soft for 3 months will fix this problem.

So don't despair, don't give up. This is rarely a purely psychological problem and there is a solution.

I will update this post again when we have completed the treatment.
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OMG... feels like we are not alone anymore...
But still worried...
My son is 9 and he's wetting in his pants EVERY DAY several times a day. It is driving us crazy. We feel very helpless and hopeless. We tried different doctors, different treatments, ultrasounds, even for constipation because he is constantly complaining about stomach aches, but never had accidents with poop... He is very sensitive so smells and sensations and that make us very concern about why he is peeing  and dont"caring" about it or notice it. We've assumed he doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go to the bathroom! He has also be diagnoised with ADHD.  So after that the doctor prescibed him treatment for ADHD, he said he will focus better and that would stop... That was a nightmare! Lots of other consequences and the peeing in his pants never stoped.  We give him time outs, we put privilidges away, we talk to him, my husband is constantly remainding him to go potty, we talk to him how people might  start being mean with him but nothing works.  He even wore pull ups for a while, first I tougth that might make him feel uncomfortable but then we was taking them off full of pee. We are so  tired of arguing, fighting, yelling and punishing him because he has another "accident".
A lot of times I just ignore the situation and hide the thruth for my husband just to have a "normal" day but I end up yelling at him.
I just want to stop hurting his self steem and I want him to feel better, this situation make all of us very uncomfortable and it doesnt make anybody happy..
We want to find some help....
So, Linella, if that will work for you let me know, because, we already went thru that treatment and basically didnt work for him, of course, we didnt do it for the pee, it was just for his stomach aches, I never thougth that could be related at all, but still didnt help with the stomach or pee..
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I believe that constipation alone rarely causes urinary incontinence, though it may make it worse.

I also do believe that in most cases this is not behavioural and it is counterproductive to discipline the child for it. I believe that no child would do this on purpose. If it would be the occasional accident, it would most likely be caused by them getting distracted. But every day, or several times a day at that age: no way!

You have to get your husband to stop yelling at your son or make him feel bad about it! It is NOT your boy's fault! The punishments will hurt him more than the incontinence. Because that is what this is: it's urinary incontinence and he has no control over it.

Have you tried the treatment for an overactive bladder? Have you done the frequency/volume chart? Is he better at home than at school? Does he feel he has to go urgently as soon as he feels he has to go? These are ways to determine if there is a problem with his bladder muscle being unable to relax and reducing the volume of his bladder.

If that is not it, it may be a result of holding on for too long. That could result in his brain now ignoring the signs that he has to go. Again, not his fault! But the only remedy is 'bladder training'.

Do you have an 'continence advice' service in your area? They will take you seriously unlike lots of doctors.

Don't give up, don't blame your son, you will get through this.
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I'm so happy I found this site! My 7 year old has started having wetting her pants during the day.  The other day at aftercare a staff member went to check on her and found her hiding in the bathroom crying because she had an accident and was embarassed.  I don't know what to do - my husband thinks she just doesn't want to stop playing to use the bathroom but after reading some of the posts, I'm thinking it might be more than that.  She has had a history of UTI's since she was small - she only had another a few weeks ago.  I will be calling her pediatrician tomorrow.
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Read your post and something you said made me think.  My niece (8yrs old) who wets herself (1&2) during the day, is very tall for her age. I was wondering if anyone else has the same thing in common?  Thank you all for your posts. K, maybe I can't stop her but can anyone give me some stress management tips as this can be daunting!  My favorite posts have been adults who had this problem growing up. Would love to hear more from you who understand what our kids are going through. Also, some money saving tips as diapers and underwear can be expensive!  Also, feel like teaching my niece to do her own laundry. Sigh...thanks, feel better!!!  Aunt Mayra
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I did notice that the height/age and intelligence was a common factor for many but not all ( unless they didn't include that info). my DH is now 6 and in first grade, we have been dealing with this since she was 3. The peeing thing was al at first and then at age 4.5-5, the pooping was added. She will complain of stomach pains and usualy that day or the next couple of days she will have pee and poop and is perfectly content to stay in it.  I was told at one time that she had stomach migranes (migraines) but besides myrilax, no other solutions were given. Over the summer when there was less "learning" going on, there was a decrease in the amount and she only had accidents at nap time. even wearing panties during play time and just pullups at nap. But as soon as first grade started, she was right back to accidents all day again. after a month, we were asked to put her back in pullups for sanitary reasons.

The quest continues.
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My son has some of the same issues as most of the kids on here. He had finally started doing good this year, he had only a couple accidents that I knew of in about a 3 month period of time, then this month he has done it 7 times. We have talked to his doctor several times and had urine tests, she didn't find anything wronng. We are going to take him to a urologist as soon as we can. Most days he will go when needed and and will ask to go. I don't understand why he can't always do that. It gets so frustrating. We have tried rewarding him for doing good instead of punishing him, it worked for a while, but not so much any more. I am at ,my wits end.
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Avatar_f_tn
My 7 year old daughter too has these problems. she is now in first grade and says she just does not feel it. our pediatrician said that since she is not a night time bed wetter it was a psychological problem but at this point I just don't buy that anymore.

After doing some very extensive research of my own I found an somewhat unknown condition called voiding dysfunction commonly found in children. It is something that can be tested for and is treatable to some extent. Below is a link to a pdf that talks about this condition.

http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/urology/downloads/kurzrock_handouts_PDF/Wetting.pdf

Another solution I would suggest for those who, like me, can't supervise 24/7 to adhere to a potty schedule is a vibrating potty watch. When the kids feel like they really can't feel it then how can we expect them to know its time to take a potty break. I can't get my 7 year old to remember to put her toys away when shes done playing with them so why should I expect her to go try and use the restroom every hour when she doesn't even feel the physical need?

I got a very very helpful one from here: http://www.pottymd.com/ which is a fantastic site with tons of resources for potty problem parents. Hope my daughters struggles and our finds and experiences help some of you other parents find solutions to your difficulties as well.
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I am a single father of four daughters, ages 14, 11, 8, and 4.  My 8 year old daughter has again started wetting he pants while participating in an enjoyed event such as playing, watching a movie, ect.  She had this problem in the past but had taken control of it and overcame it.  But now, for some reason, the problem has returned.  She has seen multiple different pediactrics who have ruled out any and all medical problems.  If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I am all ears.  Prouddadof4
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Avatar_m_tn
I found this site a very long time ago and was extremely relieved to know my daughter and I weren't alone in this. She's 8 now and has been wetting herself since she was potty trained. I took her to the doctor, a therapist and even asked teachers. There was nothing wrong with her. When I asked her why she does this she says, "I don't know" or "I didn't need to go." I have a friend whose son also had this problem and she suggested my daughter stop wearing underpants. At first I was hesitant, of course, but she said that diapers and especially training pants are made to feel like underwear. She said it could be the feeling of having underpants on triggers, subconsciously, that it's ok to pee in her pants.(Because she's wearing protection or a barrier) Well, after 6 months now,  my daughter hasn't peed her pant's at all. She hasn't worn underwear at all and we've had no accidents. We're both sooo much happier. She's more confident and I'm less worried/stressed. Also, just so you know after I started this experiment I had another appointment with a therapist/mediator, I'm currently in a custody battle, I had told him about this and he wasn't surprised at all. He said it's actually quite common. I hope this helps some of you but I wanted to let anyone I could know about this as it's helped me tremendously. Good Luck and happy holidays.
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GOOD NEWS GOOD NEWS!!

Daughter (6) began Vyvanse and Ditropan on 12-7-10 and she has been pee/poop accident free since 12-10-10. I noticed the difference in her noticing she had to go on 12-9-10 and her pull up was dry. That night their Gma let them spend the night so I didn't know when I dropped them off at school that she wore panties (she hasn't done that months). When I picked her up from school her pants kept falling down (had them adjusted for pull-ups) and I noticed her panties and that she had on the same pants she had on that morning. She said she wore them to school and didn't have any accidents. She has been dry every since!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So how did we get her?

First let me say I  LOVE LOVE LOVE my pediatrician. I was just worn thin, so I sent an email letting him know where we were now. He contacted her Pediatric Urologist and they discussed her test (only showed that she felt the uncontrollable urge to go pee a lot earlier than most, basically normal) the year + we spent seeing her and her thoughts. He also talked to her OT and they discussed her hypersensitivity to loud sounds and some social situations ( which the social thing is now pretty much better just with age unless it is extremely loud), the fact that she will focus intently on things she is doing ( school work, computer time at school/home and certain TV shows) to the point that I sometimes have to physically touch her or clap my hands to get her attention ( HA, I still blame this on my DH's genes!). They added all this up, ruled out ADHD and thought that she is quite possibly having some processing issues. Ped gave her the Ditropan to increase that amount of fluid her bladder will handle and while they ruled out ADHD, the processing disorders have shown progress using the same type of TX, so they gave her Vyvanse. He opted for this one because it comes in a capsule form which gives us control over the dosage and the ability to mix it with her food/drinks. He also referred her to a developmental Ped, but since the State of OK tells insurance co's that they do not have to approve development ped's, the insurance co. decided to deny this coverage (HAVE TO LOVE  :- { GLOBAL HEALTH INSURANCE) luckily for us, we will be moving back to our old provider in January and they will cover the referral, so this will have to wait until then. For the first couple of days we gave her the entire capsule, but she kept getting up fully awake at 3AM telling me the time every 15-20 min and asking me if it was time to go to school. She did this until about 5-530 AM and then at 6:30 AM she was up again and ready to start her day. We switched to 1/2 capsule daily and WE now sleep all night again.

I know not everyone is interested in using meds, but they have worked wonders for her. We still don't have a name for the issue, but it appears to have something to do with processing. For me this made the answers "I don't know why I pee'd myself" or " I didn't know I did it" (even when she was walking funny because her bottom hurt from being in a wet pull up all day) make sense to me...I think she really didn't have a clue because her brain was no longer listening to her bladder yell I HAVE TO GO until it was too late. Maybe once we get to the developmental Ped, we will have a name. For now, I'm just happy to have some changes. It's only been 13 dry days, but it's more than we've had in years so I am grateful. Do I expect accidents or course, but hopefully just the occasional "normal" accidents!
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Forgot to mention that we are still in pullups at night. I just want to enjoy the day time dryness for awhile before I attempt that one.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so relieved to find this. I am at my wits end and went online, once again, to look for some type of answer.... I have a 7 year old boy who is absolutely perfect in every other way other than he has never been completely "potty trained".   He is my 5th child and I assumed that he would of course, be as easy to train by 2 years old just as the other 4 were.... Well, from the beginning, when I first started training him, it was daunting and he would become so frustrated. I remember feeling so sad for him. Well, he is now 7 and my husband and I can't believe that we are still doing this.
   I have taken him to the ped. so many times and they only look at me with blank stares and words that basically say that I am a bad mom and I don't know what I am doing. They just say that he needs to practice holding it... He is mentally and physically normal. I know that some kids may have abuse problems that lead to this type of condition, but that is not the case here. We have also tried to encourage, punish, threaten etc... to get him to be dry. He has never been dry all night, he wears pullups to bed, which aren't absorbant enough to hold all of it, so he wakes up soaked. Yes, we have tried to wake him and have him go potty, but it doesn't help. Also, I once bought "Depends" brand type adult (extra small) underwear hoping that they would absorb more, but they didn't.  He has pee problems and also the poopy problems.
    I believe that he has the same condition as others where he is constipated and it interferes with the overactive bladder problem. This is his problem exactly. He holds his bms too long and then is afraid to go because it will hurt once he goes, but it leaks into his underwear instead. It's never much, not a whole bm in his underwear, but enough that if he sits, there will be a spot. Also, the pee problem is worse. He goes very frequently. Sometimes he goes and then 5 minutes later, he goes quite a bit again, then he dribbles and doesn't even know it. I have seen him go and then stand there getting dressed and it's coming out and he doesn't know it. I started using panty liners a few years ago for the poopy and it helped a lot, but recently I started using slightly larger panty liners for the front. I told him they were "poop liners" and then "peepee liners". These have helped a lot, but I really worry about someone finding out and embarrassing him.  
   I am very reluctant to try drugs, but I don't know what else to do. He really hates it, and it certainly isn't a problem where he is too busy, or lazy to take the time to go. We have tried reminding him over and over again to go, but he still has accidents. I am considering having him wear pullups to school because he has so many accidents and I don't want him to be teased or known as the smelly kid. He is such a kind sweet child.
    Please, if you have any updates, or more information, please please post and help us all out. I feel like there is some hope after reading this. I was in tears reading everyones stories and I called my husband up and showed him. We came to the decision long ago that it wasn't his fault, no matter what the dr's or anyone else said, and we stopped punishing him. I am working with him daily to go potty and get it all out. Thank you for your time and help!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am  not the type of person to immediately go for medication, but my lovely paediatrician convinced me that Diatropan is totally safe. It relaxes the bladder muscle and since it is the only muscle of its kind in our body, doesn't affect any other muscles.

Also, you will be able to measure if the drug is working by regularly doing the volume test. A child at 6-7 is supposed to be able to hold about 200ml (sorry, I only know metric measures!) in their bladder.

My daughter had a major improvement without the meds for a few months, so I tried without. But now she seems to have more accidents again, plus her bladder volume is still too low, so we have just started the Ditropan.

My paed also stressed that the meds alone are not enough. We are also doing bladder training, making her wait 5 mins, then 10 and so on when she starts feeling the need to go. This of course means I need her cooperation, but since she knows that it is a medical problem and not her fault, she is so motivated to do whatever it takes to make herself better.

Regarding the poop accidents, it is very easy to test for constipation. My paed could diagnose it just from feeling my daughter's tummy. But in the past we've had x-rays done that showed there was a build-up in her bowels. The stool softeners should take care of that and they also are very safe, even for long-term use.

Both of these meds are only temporary measures, even if they might have to be on them for a while. But once the bladder has been stretched to a normal size, it should stay that way, especially if you continue the bladder stretching training for a while.

Same with the stool softeners. They will fix the immediate problem with faecal impactation which stretches the lower bowels and allows soft stools to leak out without them even noticing. My dr told me the constipation problem was probably a result of my daughter waiting too long to go to the toilet for poos. But once it's there, they need help to fix it before they can even try to get into better toilet habits. Once they're free of constipation, they have to make sure they go to the toilet for poos as soon as they feel they have to go.

I hope this helps. Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a daughter also and she had a simliar problem when she was 11. She is 13 now and almost never does it. Her behavior was very similar to what you are describing. What we did was take away most of her electronics and fun toys and then hang a giant "dry chart" above her bed or anywhere in her room, make sure its large. Then we made sure to put pooping and wetting pants chart on it so everyone knew what it meant. For every week she was dry we gave her a toy back and had a sticker on the chart for that week. If she didnt make it a week, we would restart that week. Then also definantly put her back in diapers with little girl baby desogns on them and have her wear them to school, at night, to friends houses, in the pool, during the day, everyday all day. And have her change herself. Make her do this for at least until she is a month to 2 months completely dry. If she stops permenantly then its your choice to have her stop wearing them. Make sure that diapers are noticeable to everyone. Then in a cauple days when all of this is set up have her friends or sisters friends come over and see what she is doing and is wearing. At night when they are together for the sleepover go in and ask in front of everyone, do you have you night diapers on honey if not lets go change you. And then in the morning start the process as i described. I can almost guarantee this will work. Start asap, like today and make it as embarrasing as possible. Tell her if shes going toact like a baby youll treat her like a baby. Im sure this will work. Write back with how it goes. Good luck!!
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I forgot to mention of coure we had her medically checked out first and she was fine nothing wrong at all. Just wanted to clarify. Write back telling me when you strt and how it goes. Thanks and good luck again!
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm sorry, but using humiliation as a punishment for something like this seems medieval to me. I sincerely hope no one will try this, especially not with younger kids.

It's also not because one doctor claims there's no physical issues that they're right. Worth getting a second or even third opinion.
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In most situations i would completely agree with the embarrasment situations. My daughter emma however is not one of these situations. After my husband and i had her checked out by numerous doctors and ruled out any medical problem we thought we would give her freedom and try and see if she grew out of it. We were there for her i she ever needed anything and let her know that. But she had no change at all and she had started bed wetting/pooping a few nights a week and still had many accidents a week during he day time. We were very concerned and patient until we noticed she had started growing mean about it. After a very long discussion we discovered she just didnt feel like going (after she told us). She said she didnt feel like going to the toilet and that she figured we would just clean her up anyway or the nurse would clean her up at school. The kids at school were not aware yet and she behaved herself when friends were over. She said it was just easier and less work for her which is what she "deserved". I dont know where she got this entitlement but we were sick of it ecspecially for someone in 7th grade. Which is why we started the process we did. And it worked very well. If your child says they just dont feel like it and the doctor says there is nothing wrong you should immediately start this process i suggested. And write back telling me when you start and how it goes. The best of luck hope you use it!
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We had had basically the same issue that most of you have with our daughter.  She is turning 7 in April and we have been at our wits end for the past 4 year. We tried everything, Dr's, paediatricians, psycologist the works but no result.  I had a friends daughter suggest a paediatric chiropractor late last year, and I thought what have I to lose lets give it a shot.

Well, have we had a massive change he found that her pelvis was slightly twisted (which was probably from birth) which effects the neurological messages between the bladder and brain.  We started off with 3 weekly visist and are now down to around once a month.  We occassionally have slight relapses but after another visit she is back on track.  What amazed me most was that when he was testing her, the strenghth on the left side of her body was so far below the other side that I could see there was a problem here.  So it you've tried everything and don't want to go down the medication path, I'd try a paediatric/childrens chiropractor.

Good luck, (my stress levels have plummeted finally)
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Well first of all I'd like to say I'm glad I'm not alone, however I am in one aspect, my daughter is 11 and she's been doing this since she was 8.  She isn't growing out of it...  I'm a single mother of two we have no medical at the moment so I can't afford to take her to all the fancy doctors and have all the tests done and it doesn't sound like from reading your posts that any of you have had luck that way anyways.  She knows she's doing it she's aware its a problem but she will do it and literally sit in her underwear for hours and just plain not care.  We've talked about infections I have stressed to her how important it is to be clean and take care of herself and still nothing.  Occasionally she will have a bowel movement in her underwear as well but its pretty rare and same scenario she will literally sit in the same underwear all day and continue about her business.  I have talked to her about how embarrassing it would be for her if people found out and she has been doing this at school, friends, houses birthday parties and everything else so you can't tell me people don't know.  She just pretends it didn't happen, hides it so I won't get mad and eventually takes care of it when she gets home or when I find out whichever comes first.  I have her wash out her underwear when it happens and calmly express to her again how this isn't normal behavior and we need to figure out why it is happening and she needs to try harder not to.  I'm a truly at a loss and was really hoping I could find someone on here that had a success story at some point or an update because for me it doesn't seem like its going to end anytime soon.  The flip side of this is when she goes to visit her dad in Texas during the summers I am told she doesn't do it at all there, which I'm not sure I believe, why would she do it with me and not with them?  I'm at a loss I don't know what to do she's 11 and she's going to be starting her period soon, I'm sure you mothers all know where I'm going with this and my concern because we all know how big of a change that can be for us and its going to be on top of whats already going on.  I don't want my daughter to have infections and problems her whole life, I want a solution.  Some one out there just has to know something, PLEASE HELP.
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Could she have some kind of infection that just isn't going away.  If I were you I would try and find some place that would see her.  Most states have free clinics, and maybe you should try and get her into one.  We are not doctors here so we cannot help you in the way that you need.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow. My son is almost 10 and struggled with pooping issues from 2-8yo? I think. We finally got fed up with the Ped and the Miralax and Lactulose causing diarrhea and him still having accidents, and went to an ND (Naturopathic Dr.) After many tests and different diets, she finally sent us to have a full blood food allergy test. He came back with about 65 allergies to major food groups and minor food items. It is an incredibly difficult diet to follow for him and for us, but his situation has improved 100x over.  He is on no pharma meds, though he is taking some pro-biotics because he was found to have virtually no healthy flora. We are now starting to try to find someone who might be somehow able to treat this food thing, basically an intolerance, so he might someday be able to eat like a normal person again.

Now my daughter, just turned 5, is causing us the pee-during-the-day grief. She never wets the bed, but goes through spurts of peeing herself every single day, and then weeks dry every day. It makes no sense to me. She has a dr. appt. scheduled for June (love Kaiser!) but I guess I'm glad to know at least there are many others in this boat. I get very angry, even though I know this is not the right approach. The diaper thing isn't, either, I don't think, but it doesn't work for us anyway because she just takes them off and throws them away!! She would rather go without underwear, which actually does work, but clothes rub rashes on tender skin, so I don't like for her to run around like that too much, and also not with dresses, because I don't want her flashing the world. I will ask about the bladder capacity thing, though. Thanks for the info and the support.
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I have a 5 year old (boy) serial wetter at school and sometimes at home.. we usually catch his symptoms at home and send him to the bathroom or there would be more issues here as well. This is very new as there were some issues of bed wetting here and there but it is very new to have so many issues during the day now.

I've read this ENTIRE thing and love some of the suggestions.. here are the ones that I tracked down throughout all the postings

1. Kegel type exercises to strengthen muscles
2. Rating bathroom urgency 1-10 to draw attention to "needing to go"
3. Bladder training in gaining cooperation of child to try to wait it out in order to challenge bladder naturally
4. Miralax or suppository
5. No underpants - removes the "its OK to have an accident" understanding
6. Ditropan (and medication that relaxes bladder)

Hope that summary saves some of those desperate for answers the time of reading everything on this thread! Some are some great ideas and I'm going with some at home remedies before relying on any prescribed medication. I will update when we have more to share!
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There is an alarm your daughter can wear at night that will wake her up if she starts to wet herself.  Your doctor can prescibe this for you.  This will train her to know when she has a full bladder.  Most of the time, bed wetting happens because the children are in such a deep sleep, they don't wake up.  Unfortunately, I do not have a solution for the daytime wetting as I, too have an 8 year old daytime wetter.  I tried using the night time alarm on her during the day and it actually works.  She never wets herself when she is wearing that alarm because she is more afraid of the alarm than wetting herself but she doesn't like to wear it.  She is a difficult child with other issues.  Sometimes it is medical issue, contipation like one mom said and sometimes it is behavorial.  I think I am dealing with both.  Good luck parents!
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I know for some parents this is a medical issue.
For my step-son it is not. It is strictly him not wanting to leave play or his DSi to go to the bathroom when he needs to. He doesn't do it at school at all, only in evenings & on weekends. It's not consistent, and some weekends/evenings will go by & no accidents. Then, during play either outside or with electronics, he is just plain lazy & will not take the time to go before it is too late. He lives most of the time with his mother, although my boyfriend & I have him every weekend. This is not new, and there have been no changes to cause this. He is spoiled, and has the "I don't care" attitude. I'm sorry to be blunt, but I believe it's a discipline issue. I think discipline needs to be consistent, and there needs to be a consequence. My boyfriend is relucant to take toys/electronics away (a favourite thing) because he only has his kids on the weekends. The mother, also relucant to discipline. Also, if we have a discipline/consequences plan, my stepson will say, "I don't care" I'll get it back when I get to mommy's. I think parents need to come up with a discipline plan & stick to it. This is for those parents who know for sure there is no medical reason for it. Children at this age - 5-8 are really testing limits & finding out where they can have their own sense of control. It's a real issue that can cause real damage to their self esteem later on if not dealt with consistently.
My stepson is passing this on to my son, who in the last couple of weeks has either dribbled in his pants or all out peed his pants where he never has before. He will be 5 in August. It has been very frustrating for me to deal with a spoiled child syndrome. My boyfriend & I will be sitting down this weekend to come up with a consistent plan to deal with it. We are also going to get other family members involved (his ex-wife) so we are all on the same page. I'm hoping it works.
We need to be parents first & foremost, not their friends. Just my two cents worth....
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Wow I am so relived to see I'm not alone.  My daughter is 9 years old and she wets herself from time to time.  It's when she laughs she always crosses her legs and dances around and has a hard time holding it.  Or when we're out and about she tells us she has to go and it's a right away thing and it drives me nutts.  I have two younger girls and they don't have this problem so I am lost as to what this is and why it happens.
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm so sick and tired!! I have a 15 YEAR old that sits on her heel so she won't pee cause she is on the computer of playin her games. It's getting so bad that her room is starting to smell like fish! I smelt her floor and it's smells like pee. She doesn't take her peed clothes and put them in the washer like we told her to do. She has been checked out and all they a can tell me is that she has thick muscles around her bladder. She says she can't feel it until it's too late, but she was doing real well there for a time, she quit smelling like fish cause she would clean herself, and wearing dirty underwear and her room didn't stink. Now it's getting bad again and she is ruining our house.. She keeps getting infections cause she doesn't shower and wears dirty underwear, and when she does shower she just sits in the tub. She has lots of friends and she is smart, but Im sick of this. We can't afford to keep taking her to the doctor for infections, cause is 107.77 for the urin tests and thats WITH insurance. I just don't know what to do and It's been going on forever..
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a two boys, 7 and 3.  Recently I started permitting the 7yr old to see his paternal grandparents again on the weekends (after about a 6 month break - he's always been close with them). It may be a coincidence but he started having multiple accidents daily since then. He currently has  reduced his accidents to less than 5 times a week during the day and 2 or more times overnight. Without fail at least 1 accident happens the day he comes home from his grandparents house. Usually he wont tell me it happens or wont seem to even notice that it happens. One thing that I think is contributing to it is the cranberry juice that they give him while he stays with them. Cranberry juice is known for cleaning the digestive system and it may be the extra waste is leaving his system in a hurry. Part of the problem ties into them being big softy's and not realizing that theyre babying him or paying too much/not enough attention to the issue, they wont remove the catalyst but they talk to him about the accidents which adds an emotional attachment to the problem.

Other times I might smell pee, search the house and find that it's the clothes hes wearing making the stench which are by this time dry but smell awful. I ask him where he was when he had the accident so that we can clean it up, but he'll make up places or can't seem to remember how the pee got there. Other times to my dismay I'll take him over to see family and the kids will be playing tag and I'll watch him run around until one of the times he runs by with a big wet stain, and he's completely oblivious to it.

This has changed my life. As soon as I enter any room in my house I'm sniffing the air without realizing it. Its becoming a thing where I have to use my nose to seek out accidents even if I have no reason to suspect one, because one probably happened anyways. I have to check the bathroom for misses and I wake up at night wondering if I smell pee and have to go check on the kids. Sometimes I'm right and other times I just wake up out of paranoia (hopefully). That being said It's easy to get caught up in the bad behavior and it's really frustrating that my family is at risk for infections when the accidents aren't found right away. One of the times he peed his bed and didn't tell me. He had been weezing and coughing all morning and then went to go take a nap. While he was napping his cough worsened and when I checked on him I found that the culprit was a peed blanket that he'd been cuddling with. Upon washing the bed his cough stopped immediately. I explain to him that accidents happen and it's okay, but we have to be responsible and clean it up so no one gets sick. He says he understands but still never reports the accidents or lies about them. There are times where my boyfriend will wake up and find the pee from the night before and ask about it and get lied to, he will ask the my son not to lie about it anymore and have him clean up the bed (no fuss, just a short talk/friendly advice). I'll wake up and ask my son how his night was and give him the chance to talk about the accident and his eyes will widen and he'll twiddle his fingers like hes got something on his mind, but then say 'fine'. So I'll directly ask if there were any accidents he wants to tell me about and he'll say no, even though 20 minutes earlier he was asked not to lie about it by another adult. More then the accidents I'm upset about the lying and covering when he knows what happened.

I see him watching TV doing a potty dance lately or not thinking to pause his video games to go urinate but something else to consider is that watching TV has been compared to wakeful dreaming and it may be a little harder for them to wake up from the cartoon and see that somethings going on with their body that they need to address.
Alternately he'll go potty right away if he's doing school/homework, anything to get out of sitting down and studying.

My best suggestion is to really consider the juices/supplements that your kids are taking in. Some of them might be constipaters (like eggs) or have slight diuretic properties (like grapes). And simply replacing eggs with oatmeal 5 times a week for breakfast might make the world of difference without drawing too much excitement to the situation.  Rather then show the kids you're so absorbed with them going potty on a schedule, control the drinks (not limiting them, but being sure that they'll have ample time to get to a bathroom 30 minutes after they drink a lot of fluid) If you know you're going out try to not drink anything directly before leaving the house and wait until you're at the location before permitting them anymore drinks. (I'll be the first to admit that my son still doesn't make it to the bathroom on time at the movie theaters no matter what but it works in restaurants just fine) In this way rather then addressing the bad behavior and reinforcing it with attention, you're quietly controlling the frequency and it's easier to predict the time that they need to urinate. The idea is that you do this often enough to improve the kids chances of getting it right and maybe when you remove the problems and stress surrounding the potty from your home and then it could start to carry over at school. When s/he gets used to the comfort of wearing clean dry clothes and smelling nice at home maybe the kids will see the difference themselves when they have accidents at school, and find their own reasons to fix the school situation. That sounds over-optimistic tho...

If it happens a lot during TV time it might be worth it to cut down TV time and try different activities like board games or something where you can directly supervise them and see if they do the potty dance or just excuse themselves since it's a different situation.

This has been going on for about 3mos now and  the accidents have become less common, but are still overwhelming. I can't understand how he doesn't mind walking around in soaked clothes, and the lack of care when it happens in front of his friends. There's nothing I can do about it but try and prevent it. I like to think that only a few times a week is a good sign, but it's not worth settling for. On the other hand  I'm out of ideas to further narrow down the problem aside from addressing the lying and encouraging to clean up after himself.

I reward a good week on the potty with temporary tattoos (hasn't happened in a while) and when we have an accident that he lies about we take away video games or on really bad weeks TV as well. He has the option to earn these back if he does a certain amount of math or reading. He's not forced to but it gives him a chance to work productively and earn a reward if he chooses too. And it's the kind of work where he's excited to take a potty break and does so voluntarily. If he doesn't want to play video games and doesn't do the extra credit work that's just as fine.

Boy that turned out to be long.... I hope that some of what I shared at helps give some alternate ideas about how to reduce the issue. Like I said, the problems slowed down here, but it's still inappropriately frequent and I'm at my wits end even though things aren't as bad as some of the stories. My worst fear right now is that these exercises will never end. I recently met a 13 yr old boy who still obliviously has the same exact problems and has been doing this throughout his whole life. And who can blame him? His parent's weren't able to effectively break the habit from him and he does it as shamelessly now as he has his whole life. Facing the same behaviors in my own child I feel desperate to help him avoid that kind of fate. When is enough enough?  I understand that patience makes perfect but how long does it take before it becomes a learned attribute instead of just a phase? Does rewarding kids for good bathroom practices teach them that if they make mistakes 50% of the time that they have an opportunity to get a reward the rest of the time?
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I have a daughter who will be 8 shortly and she constantly urinates and poops her pants. I have consulted all sorts of doctors. Have had blood tests, urine tests, x rays, nothing appears to be wrong. She NEVER wets the bed. Always during the day. She has in the past walked into the bathroom, pulled her pants down, and gone right on my floor. She immediately stopped that when she was the one who had to clean it up. However I haven't been so lucky with the other stuff. She will go in her clothes and will not say anything, will wear those clothes all day long. She's forced to have toilet breaks every hour and has to sit on the toilet for at least 10 minutes or until she goes. I have spoken to councillors, child health units, hot lines, forums and have tried every option they had to give me: sticker charts, rewards, making her clean her clothes, pull ups. Nothing seems to work. She appears to be more proud than ashamed or embarressed. Mind you-she may not say anything or change because somebody might notice, however, if someone does point it out for her she isn't shy to show everybody of her "accomplishment". In the pull ups she showed EVERYBODY, with a huge smile on her face. She has seen several therapists and nobody can tell me anything. Whether she may have a mental health issue, I have not found out yet, as I am on the waiting list for her to be assessed (for 2 years). I just want to be able to handle these situations appropriately as I am becoming more and more inpatient everyday. Any other suggestions that anybody has would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!!!!
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Take her 2 the doctor and if that does not do anything speek 2 her teacher 2 c if they can go to the bathroom with her. This might bring her conference back out.
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I too have a daughter who is 7 and a half and see the same things happening.  Since she started school.  She has wet herself.  At camp in the summer too...the counselors have been great about sending her but she still has had the odd one this year too.  Last night she was outside playing with the neighbors and she came home to get ready for bed and took her clothes off and peed on the floor of her room.  I asked her why she did it and her response was "I dont know"  I made her clean it up and I usually make her wash her clothes out with accidents that happen when Im around.  But I have had no success.
I have taken her to the doctors...nothing.  
I dont know what to do.
I have taken her favorite toys away and still no difference.
If anyone can help please do so.  
I would really like to nip this in the butt!
She is never embarrassed by it either...she doesnt worry about the other kids making fun of her...she says they dont see it
when clearly i can see and smell it on her when i get home from work.
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hi, try a new approach; don't punish your child and make her clean it up. U do it and simply have her spend time with your while u do it and apologize to her for your past attempts that failed. give her a bath
good luck
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bath your daughter daily, or make sure she sits in the tub which is good enough
she is not getting infections because she sits in pee soaked pants

sitting on her heels is not going to keep her from urinating
move the computer to the living room
go to vitamin store; buy about $50 worth of Probiotics, enough for her to take 100 billion cultures daily, put them in a shake, yogurt etc. (empty the capsules)
do this for 2 wks

pick out her clothes each day and check them and have her change if necessary
don't give her a choice in the clothes, but be nice about it; they have to be clean everyday and as soon as they are not; bath and clean clothes
good luck
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There seem to be a few groups of people here... I will address what I am in the progress of working with as a stepdad of an 11 year old girl who came home from her 4th day of 5th grade wet today.  It seems the music teacher does not like to let kids take bathroom breaks.  She wets her pants on an eratic basis, going weeks without a problem, usually having just one wetting to get back on track but has had 2-3 incidents in one week at tiimes in addition to about 1 nightime wetting per month.  

The problem has been over the last 2 years during a growth spurt and the onset of puberty... which others have mentioned being a potential for an underdeveloped bladder that is small and will catch up with time.  We have tried more frequent urination but she is a bit ADD without medication and forgets to stay on schedule.

She also has an issue discovered in the last 6 months of having unusually large bowel movements (the size of a woman's fist)... she admits that those have been around for a couple of years too... leading us to start the miralax today,

If everybody's memory is accurate, the problem started happening during a time when home life was less than ideal.  This is dismissed as things would seem better now, but lingering effects could be affecting her.  It does not seem like the recent incidents line up with any stress that we are aware of.

Like many others have said, we were somewhat relieved to stop feeling alone in this from the plethora of others going through it.  The strength of the numbers compelled me to write even though our problem is small compared to others.  I will try to post again on the progress.
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It's reassuring to see this is a fairly common problem.  My 6 yo daughter is currently having 'accidents' during the day and has just pee'd on the hall carpet without explanation or embarrassment, which is driving me mad.  However I keep coming back to the idea that it's a food related problem as I know she's very sensitive to salicylates (which are basically found in all the fruit and veg you think are healthy, like strawberries, broccoli, etc etc) as if she has too much fruit or has foods with concentrated natural flavourings she literally cannot control her behaviour.  Bedwetting and incontinence of some kind is a common food intolerance reaction, too.  Seeing the number of you mentioning ADHD symptoms in your kids I wonder if you realise a lot of these symptoms are a sign of extreme food sensitivity e.g. to preservatives, colouring or just too much fruit and veg as some kids just can't process the quantities we think are healthy.  
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My son is a month off being 8 & wets himself at school a lot at first i thought it may be medical but he doesnt do it at home & can hold on if we are out in public he has since told me he just doesnt want to go at school cause he is busy & doesnt want to miss out. he is a bed wetter &a very heavy sleeper but we are slowly getting on top of the bed wetting with the help of a bed alarm. we are moving house soon which will require him to catch the bus & im worried he will get bullied on there over it by the othet kids. we just do not know what to do!
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My son is 10 years old and has been diagnoised with ADHD, he is wetting him self when he is out side playing, cos he dont want to stop the fun he is having, what do i do, do u punish him for doing this, as he kno's why he is doing it, it ant no accident, or do u just leave it, i never relised so many other parents were going through this, but its is a relive to kno i not alone, and my son is not any different from any other child, i used to do it when i was younger according to my sister, but it needs to stop,
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My son is 10 years old and has been diagnoised with ADHD, he is wetting him self when he is out side playing, cos he dont want to stop the fun he is having, what do i do, do u punish him for doing this, as he kno's why he is doing it, it ant no accident, or do u just leave it, i never relised so many other parents were going through this, but its is a relive to kno i not alone, and my son is not any different from any other child, i used to do it when i was younger according to my sister, but it needs to stop,
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My God daughter is 7 and is wetting the bed it had stopped for a few then it startd back up again bt worst...and I think its a case of the lazyness because she'll wake up a couple of days "hey I didnt go pee" nd when she does she's really quite nd distance...we rewarded her wit treats/gifts when she doesn't nd punish her when she does...her mom says she took her to the docts nd physiologically I don't kno what to do anymore I need help
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my step daughter is 6 and has exhibited most of the same habits (ADHD, daytime pants peeing and pooping, not wanting to stop what she is doing to go potty ETC.) i am ADHD as well, i was fortunate to get off the meds in the third grade thanks to an amazing teacher, but i digress.  i delt with some of these issues myself as a youngster, and i remember the most that i would get so hyper focused on whatever i was doing that i wouldnt notice that i had to go, my body would react and hold it back while i continued on with whatever i was doing, until i couldnt hold it back anymore and then it was too late, my mom ended up having a meeting with my teacher and at first i was sent to the bathroom every hour, that graduated to me being allowed to go to the bathroom whenever i needed to without first getting permission.  granted i did abuse the privilidge a little, but it helped out a great deal and i was able to conquor my monster, i am about to enact this treatment with my daughter, i hope this helps you all :)
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i am 18 and still poop in my pants so my mom makes me waer dippers
i have to do ever thing a baby has to do
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I wanted to say thankyou for your comment I was looking for answers or any suggestions for my son's wetting/pooping problems, and I came across your post. It's as if your daughter and my 7yr old son have the same exact problems! It is hard on both he and us, we've tried punishing him and all that stuff, he has to wear pullups to school everyday cuz Im scared the other kids are going to smell him and make fun of him! His is that a small amount of urine comes out and throughout a schoolday, that's alot of pee. He uses the toilet, and we remind him to go when he's at home, but he'll still have pee and pooping accidents. I have also read alot about encpresis, and with your story, I feel confident that at our Dr. appnt I will have better info. to find out how to help my son...I hope your family is doing well!
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i am also facing the same issue. my daughter who is 3.5 years old suddenly started going to toilet every hour when she is awake. when she is sleeping its very rare that she has to use toilet . is this normal ?
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Wow! Here is some news you all want to hear about, it's called EMDR therapy
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing)
I experience very much the same thing with my youngest daughter for years.  I thought all the same thoughts.  But the problem still existed by age 8, tests all normal, diet balanced, so she must be just to lazy.  Well here is a new flash THE BODY TALKS TO YOU IF YOU LISTEN and what peeing in their pants is telling you is that something isn't right so LISTEN!
I was blessed to have someone share with me this type of therapy and I kid you not after 3 session she was dry.  So here is the jest of it;

Trauma, what ever it might be, is processed in the brain during rem cycle.  If the brain doesn't process it properly then there can be triggers. When the trigger happens a hormone is released into the body which causes symptoms (sweaty palms, stomach pains, ridding bodily fluids (vomiting or peeing).  Kids REALLY don't know why it is happening.  But through EMDR, my daughter was able to understand body talk and able to know why it was happening to her.  I suggest looking up a therapist in your area, the worst thing that can happen is you'll finally break the cycle and help your child have a normal life.  
Good Luck!
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I would love to know what you are doing now...my 8 year old daughter is doing the exact thing!!!!!
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give her concicquences or make her wear dipers
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   Like that is going to help if she has a medical problem?
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I have a baby who has constipation a lot, but is fine if he takes magnesium everyday. Magnesium is a natural source, and the amount can be adjusted to the individual. I don't know if this will help you but it has helped us. It is called "calm" and you can get it with calcium or without. It also is quite pleasant to drink.
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I have an almost 7 year old daughter. We've been PT'ing since she was almost 3. She has about 5-6 accidents a day on a bad day...on a good day, it is only 1. Strange things: She gets up a couple times each night to empty her bladder. No amt of praise, consequence, etc makes a difference. Each pt'ing system (reward charts, candy, you name it we've done it, including makinng er walk around holding a diaper. Not proud of that moment...but we were desparate and did that for one day. etc) weve tried for over 2 months. To be sure we've given it a long enoough time. Her excuses : I didnt know i did it. I cant feel when i have to go, i dont know why". I call bs, because she doesnt pee her pants every single time...she does use the toilet frequently throughout the day. She rarely has accidents at night, and the only time this has happened, is recently.
We took her to the urologist around age 4. Hte said she had an overactive bladder and put her on Ditrapan or something like that. WARNING that made her CRAZY. Off the hook behavior problems. I think it did permanent damage because she has never been the same since. She is currently being treated for depression, bipolar, odd, etc. N ever had issues before that medicine. He did say it was possible to have behavior issues when usng it..Anyway....BIG MISTAKE THERE.
I want to take her to have an ultrasound on her bladder to see if there is an issue there. Maybe like another poster...her bladder is too small. BUT, ev3en if it is...whhy can she wake herself up at night...but not make it to the toilet during the day???
Oh and she doesnt do this at school. She has minimal accidents there. She will be starting 1st and in full day in a few weeks, so we'll see how that goes.
For now, we are treating her how she behaves. Babies pee their pants. If you want to do that, ok...but you cant have your tv in your room and you dont get new cool big girl clothes. Prob wont do a damn thing,but we are so frustrated we dont know what to do.
Oh and we are also making it a huge deal. She makes a  mess...she cleans it up . She has to shwoer after ever accident,even if its 5 times a day. Then after that she washes her clothes, changes herself, washes the bathroom floor up. That is her routine. EVER DAY. That was suggested to us by the counsellor. I'll post if he has any other ideas as we are going to see him today.
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   My first thought is have you seen any other urologist since she was about 4.   That really was a long time ago.  It could be a medical problem.
   Is she on any meds now?  I will be glad to check out side effects of any meds she might be on.
   And, I also should mention that kids with ADHD have 4 times more wetting accidents then the normal child.  So you probably ought to take a look at the ADHD symptoms.  Pretty good site here - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1   .      If you need more information on ADHD, post over on the ADHD web site so I won't miss it.  Site is here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
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You folks need to start putting your foot down and doing some proper parenting.  If your child will not stop playing and go to the bathroom then you should take their toys away until they decide to be more responsible about something they SHOULD be responsible about at their age.
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I am happy and sad that I have found this forum...Happy to see that I am not alone since I have a 6 year old, she will be 7 in two months, but sad to hear that we all seem to have to wait until they outgrow this wetting problem. I too am at wits end dealing with wetting problems. My daughter has accidents just about every day and does sleep so hard at night that she doesn't wake up to go to the bathroom. We are using pull ups at night and are not worried about that nearly as much as we are about the daytime wetting. She wets her pants regardless of where she is, at school, at the store, playing with friends. She says she didn't know she had to go. She lies about being wet all the time. I know that she does have the urge to go because at times she will go on her own. I have her on Milk of magnedia everyday, which she has done for over a year now so I know that her peeing is not due to constipation.
I have tried every positive reinforcement and pretty much every negative reinforcement thinkable to make her stop wetting. She now has to clean up her own messes and wash herself every time she has accidents. If anyone out there comes up with something that works for there child please share with the rest of us as we all want the situation resolved.
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All you people who punish a child for wetting themselves are nothing but cruel! You are psychologically damaging your kids every day.

Of course kids lie about having wet themselves. They are embarrassed and scared of the consequences. And they just want to get on with life, not having to think about toileting issues all the time. That is also why sometimes they do indeed not bother with going to the toilet because they always have to go very urgently immediately and I totally understand why they get so very frustrated by having to drop everything and run to the toilet all the time. They are KIDS!

This is a medical issue, people. I guarantee it! NO 7 yo chooses to go through this out of stubbornness or for wanting attention. And the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can get your child the helps she needs.

I went through it with my daughter who is now nearly 8. I first tried the sticker charts, the negative consequences, you name it. Then we tried increased fluid intake which was a disaster as her accidents just got bigger and no other effect. I put her on laxatives with no effect.

She finally was diagnosed with an overactive bladder by a pediatrician. The treatment involved taking Ditropan and doing bladder training. My daughter had to try wait with going for wees. First 5 minutes, then 10 minutes and so on. This treatment plan didn't work either and in the end I had to stop it as it put all the responsibility back on my daughter who was in no way responsible for having a faulty bladder.

Finally we found a urologist who told us her bladder was simply underdeveloped and prescribed Oxytrol patches. Not other treatment, though if she still has the problem after she turns 8, she will be referred to a specialist service for bladder training advice. No use starting with that before that age as they just don't get it.

She's been on the Oxytrol for about 6 months now and the daytime accidents stopped almost completely soon after we started. We still had one a week at first, now maybe one a month. But what's even better, after 6 months she is now dry at night!

As an experiment, we decided to stop the patches for a few days. Her daytime accidents did not come back, but she wet the bed every night she wasn't wearing the patch. So she is now back on them because it gives her the quality of life she deserves.

So stop punishing your kids, find a good specialist and get them on medication. And give them time to recover from the trauma of the daytime wetting before you do anything else.
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And to those people who come here to tell us that we are bad parents: get a life or go and be judgmental elsewhere. The only link to parenting here is that parents need to realise that these kids deserve to get the medical attention they need. And in this case, they need a knowledgeable urologist who can prescribe the right treatment. And lots of TLC because this is a very debilitating condition that has a massive effect on their social life through no fault of their own . Give your kids some credit and support them trough this like a good parent should.
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And one more...

The poop accidents will very often be caused by constipation and bad voiding habits. If the constipation gets bad, it kind of blocks the bowel and more fluid poop will seep past the blockage and the child won't feel it come out. The solution is mild laxatives (those powders, forget what they're called) and making sure the child knows that trying to hold off doing a poo will make the problem worse.

Also, reduce softdrinks, but avoid caffeinated drinks altogether. I have noticed firsthand how Coke has a bad effect on the bladder.

And the reason why kids often have more accidents during school term is because they are not able to just drop everything and run to the toilet. An underdeveloped or overactive bladder causes immediate urgency. At the first sign the child's brain gets that they have to go, they have to go very urgently immediately. If they then have to ask the teacher for permission to go and walk to the toilets in school, it is often too late. My daughter had lots of accidents on the way to the toilet at school. This isn't an issue at home because the toilet is closeby and she can go immediately.

And please try to avoid pull-ups at school. Other kids might notice and they will get teased. Use incontinence pads if you have to. I bought my girl 'monkey bar pants' that she could use the pads in and wear under a dress and no one noticed. But haven't needed them for over 6 months and don't expect to again either.

Please follow my advice. My daughter's accidents were really, really bad and went on for years and the problem is now completely gone.
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    Thank you for sharing, this sounds like very good advice!
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in my case, the panty-wetter is my daughter's 11 yr. old friend.  We've known this girl, and her family since both girls were about 3 yrs. old.  This little girl has ALWAYS been peeing in her pants during the day.  She does the crotch-grab, hopping around, the whole bit - and when you ask 'do you need to go to the bathroom?', she says No!  Then she wets her pants.

Her mother has had her to the doctor.  I don't ask a lot of questions but the last time she wet her pants at my house (over 2 yrs. ago) I flat out told her it wasn't an 'accident'; she chose not to go to the bathroom, accidents don't happen by choice.  I made her clean up after herself and she's never wet herself at my house since.  My girls are together a lot, have sleepovers - it's never happened again.

But she does wet her pants at school, on school outings, on outings with her parents and most recently at the bookstore with my daughter.  My daughter was so mad at her for two reasons; one, because this girl is not embarrassed and seems not to even care, and two, because my daughter is embarrassed by her friends panty-wetting in public!

My daughter is being approached by other kids who ask her why this girl wets her pants and that too is stressing her out - trying to explain her friends behavior - which quite frankly makes no sense to her to start with.  

I am concerned for my daughter's friend - but I'm more concerned with how this is starting to affect my daughter.  It's creating a resentment towards this girl that I think will eventually be the cause of the end of their friendship.  I see middle school (next year) and the pressures of 'fitting in' being a catalyst for my daughter to pull farther away from this girl.  

I would like to talk to this girl's mother - but I don't know how that will be received.  I would appreciate any thoughts from parents who have girls this age who still pee in their pants.  Thanks.
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well my daughter is 8 going to be 9 in a few months and she does the same thing. I ask her why she peed her pants and she goes "because I didn't want to go to the bathroom". We've asked her if it embarrasses her and she says no. she doesn't do it at school only at home. she also doesn't wet the bed at night. she hides her panties also and says its cause she doesn't want to be in trouble. when we ask her after that once again why she just didn't go to the bathroom she says cause she didn't want to stop playing, or she just says "i didn't want to." So saying it's not normal for a child to do that is ridiculous. She just blatantly refuses to go. I've tried it all to get her to stop. She has no medical problems, no infections, nothing. Just refuses and is okay with it. She can go no road trips where we don't stop for HOURS and she's just fine.
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well my daughter is 8 going to be 9 in a few months and she does the same thing. I ask her why she peed her pants and she goes "because I didn't want to go to the bathroom". We've asked her if it embarrasses her and she says no. she doesn't do it at school only at home. she also doesn't wet the bed at night. she hides her panties also and says its cause she doesn't want to be in trouble. when we ask her after that once again why she just didn't go to the bathroom she says cause she didn't want to stop playing, or she just says "i didn't want to." So saying it's not normal for a child to do that is ridiculous. She just blatantly refuses to go. I've tried it all to get her to stop.
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I've tried rewarding her with new outfits for every week she stays dry. She's 8 been potty trained since 2. Just started doing it about a year and half ago and won't stop. I don't know what else to do with her either. i've taken her toys. grounded her, rewarded her for staying dry... everything.... she only does it at home. not at school, on the road, or even at friends house. she just doesn't care. at wits end. any luck figuring urs out please share.
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The most likely reason why she doesn't have accidents at your home but does at school and on outings etc is because the toilet is so close at home. She can run to the toilet immediately when she feels she has to go. This is not possible when she's at school or out somewhere. Kids with an overactive or underdeveloped bladder get NO warning. When they feel they need to go it is very urgent immediately.

You clearly have no idea what it is like to be a parent of a child with this problem nor what the child herself is going through. If you and your daughter cannot deal with this in a constructive way, it is probably best to just end all contact. But you might want to point her mother to this post so she might get her child the medical treatment she needs.
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I have a 8 year old daughter who situation is very similar to yours.  After reading your comment about the ADHD which my daughter has, it makes me think that is linked to her bathroom accidents and holding her BM's for days.  I too have taken her to an urologist and she said everything was normal.  My daughter will go for about 3 or 4 weeks at a time with no accidents then one day have one.  I ask her why and she always says she didn't feel the urge to go until it was too late. I think there is a connection with her brain not sending signals to the part of her body that controls the urge to pee.  I am not sure if her pediatrician can test for that.  Any suggestions?
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   From articles I have read, its more that the child gets so involved in what they are doing that they wait too long to go.  And then once they gotta go - because they have ADHD and tend to react without thinking - they go.
    And yes, being constipated can complicate the matters.
    And many times being at school also makes matters more difficult due to kids being afraid to use the bathroom or teachers not letting the kids out of class.
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Hi I hope everything has gotten better. I am on the same boat my daughter is 6 she's been peeing on herself during the day everyday now for a year we've tried everything nothing works. She's never been potty trained for the nightime. Took her to the DR she keeps getting uti's because she's always wet. Honestly it is very frustrating as a parent because no one understands unless they are in the same situation and people just critisize you. I have an appointment now for the pshycologist . We recently got a divorce me and her dad so maybe it has alot to do with this. Behavior wise it just gets worse and worse by the day. Its nice to know i'm no the only one out there.
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Hi, Can you tell me if your child's problem with daytime wetting has resolved? My son has a same problem, and we don't know what to do? He feels awful about this... Please let me know! Thanks!
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I am having the same problem.  My daughter is nine and still pee's a little bit in her pants and occasionally wets them.  I have had her checked out by her Dr. and He said she is fine.  I have taken things away from her, and that didn't work, I try to remind her when she is at home to go.  I know some people say its laziness, but I don't know what else to do.  Any suggestions.
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with most American diets comes constipation and it presses on the bladder and this can cause accidents .
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Kcarlyle,
how are her bowels ? soft or Hard? If she gets constipated it could be pressing on her bladder.
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A bit of both. That was the first thought as she had a lot of blockage showing on ultrasound when she was still being seen by the ped urologist. She hasn't been back since she started  1/2 capsule of vyvanse daily. I reduced her ditropan to once dailt instead of twice because it she was complaining of stomach aches and then she would have a large soft bowel movement. About a month or so ago, i stopped it totally and she seems to being doing fine without it. She still has stomach migraines but only occasionally. She is doing better about knowing when she has to go but it still hits her like a Mack truck at times and instead of going she will just squat down in an attempt to wait until she can stand up and run to the bathroom.  Trying to get her to stop this now.
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My son is 9 and has always wet day and nite.  He has spd and low tone.  Been to urologist and neurologist.  All is well.  No constipation either.  He has reflex integration problems.  We are doing an exercise to integrate the moro reflex right now. The galant reflex does affect wetting (so they say)  but we have to integrate one at a time.  galant is 2nd on the list.  We have been working on the moro for one year!  In the meantime, we have put our son in pullups since the stress of him being wet has been very intense.   How has this gone away for others?   I am concerned that the reflext integration and the OT that we have in place for him may not be the answer.  He has been going to the chiropractor for 7 mos.  No changes yet!  ugh  
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow.. it is good to know that we are not alone.  Same symptoms as most everyone.. She is 8, she also suffers from constipation, she also pees her pants at school and at night and does not seem to care. She cannot offer a reason when asked why.  She also does it more when she is doing something she does not want to stop doing. We also took her to the urologist.  NO problem with her bladder (as opposed to what some folks have posted here regarding underdeveloped bladder) and the urologist blamed it on the constipation.  For a while, I sent her to school with pull-ups, but she begged me not to send her with pull ups because kids did see them and started making fun of them.  She is also starting to get teased because she is wetting herself.  She was doing well for a while, at least during the day (we would still have to have her wear diapers at night), when she was taking Miralax.  I mean, her panties would still smell like pee, but at least she would not get completely wet to the point she would need to change.  This lasted for about 3 to 4 months, but a couple of weeks ago, my wife stopped giving her Miralax to see if she would be ok, but she isn't.  She started peeing again. She is back to taking Miralax and I am hoping she gets back to not peeing at least during the day.  I also read what is in the link from webmd that someone posted: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis .   This is also very interested because it says that it is hereditary. My wife had that problem and through Elementary school and even until 8th grade and just like webmd says it typically happens, she just grew out of it.  My wife says that the reason she used to wet her pants is plain and simple -- SHe just did not want to go to the bathroom out of laziness.. pure and simple..  I guess all we can do  is deal with it until they grow out of it.  I just hope the teasing at school does not cause here other problems.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I am so glad I decided to google this. I am dealing with many of the same issues. My son will be 8 this year.  This has gone on for about 4 years now. He does not wet during the night time. Ironically, many nights he gets up to go to the bathroom. I tried taking things away, threatening pull-ups, which I was about to go buy tomorrow. He has seen doctors over the years.  He had a sonogram last week. Nothing appears to be wrong. His pediatrician still recommended taking him to urinologist.  I am angry and sad all at the same time. I wash clothes daily. He just started hiding underwear.  I found three pair behind his bed and I was so upset that it has come to this point. Some have suggested counseling. He claims that he can't tell that he has to use the bathroom until he has to go really bad. On the weekend, he once used the bathroom (b/c I sent him) 3x within 1 hour. I will definitely pray for all of you.  I just don't want him to get to the point where he gets teased. We have had some changes in our lives. I am not oppose to seeing a counselor. I don't know. I am off in the summers so, I will be home with him and hopefully can really focus on this. Good luck to all you in the struggle!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you foremost I definitely feel what you are going through to the T!! We are going through the same thing with our 10 year old daughter. The Dr. said there is nothing wrong with her and it feels like the more praise and redirection I do she gets more careless. She is my stepdaughter and I maybe thought that she did this because of being traumatized in her past. She was given up by her mother and also sexually abused by the boyfriend. She went through foster care before she came into the care of my husband her father. Since then she manipulates to get her way, lies, accuses people of touching her more often. She also sleep walks, and bed wets as well as during the day. She even has bowels and walks around like nothing. It has been a journey, but we haven't given up. I have high hopes that she will come around, sometimes I just don't know where to start. I do pray for you child as well, thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one. God Bless You!!
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Avatar_m_tn
To everybody on here:  When I was 8 years old, I started wetting my pants in school.  I have no idea why I did it, but other children in my class started to too.  My mom had a feeling it was because our teachers started asking us to "hold it" until they were finished teaching a lesson, and then let us go only during our lunch, recess, or after they were done talking.  We also had only two hall passes (one girl, and one boy) were only aloud out at one time.  This was not the reason why I was doing it, but I'm not sure about the other students in my class.  I don't know how many others were having the same problem.  My mom had taken me to the doctor, but I don't think anything came of it.  I really highly recommend taking your children to counseling/psychologist (not for medications, but to find out if something else is going on).  Your child could be going through something else you are completely unaware of.  I continued to have this problem throughout elementary, and into middle school.  I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but I know sometimes I still have problems.  I would only have the issue if I was at school, or in a public setting (including day trips with my family, or while I was away for a full week at summer camp). Once I reached middle school, it stopped happening at school, but it would happen other times, like summer camp. Since then I find I only have issues when I am in a situation where I can't stop what I'm doing for one reason or another.  I used to work as a veterinary nurse at an emergency hospital.  We would have long shifts (12 hours) that would end up extending into over time (up to 16 hours some days), it was extremely busy, stressful, and we were never given lunch breaks, or even coffee breaks.  There were times I ended up wearing a diaper to work.  I have since left that job, for more reasons than one, and I am going to therapy (age 27). I never had a problem pooping my pants, only urinating. I haven't had a problem since I left that job, and started therapy.  I really wish I had done this a lot sooner.  My mom never punished me for it, but I knew she would get angry about it.  I really don't believe punishing a child for doing something like this is effective way of managing this at all.  I think it is embarrassing enough that it is happening as it is.  Clearly this is something your child doesn't want to happen.  You, and your child, just have to find out why.  I don't believe this is something that is normal, in any case, with a child of 8 years or older.  Maybe it is more common in younger children, I don't know.  Either way, there is a reason why this is happening, and if your pediatrician can't find anything medically wrong, then I would highly recommend seeing a child therapist.  
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Avatar_m_tn
This sounds just like my daughter....Has the situation improved...please give me some hope, because I am at a loss and feel hopeless
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Avatar_f_tn
it is reassuring to know it is not just us going through this, tried lots with my nearly 7 year old daughter who seems to leak urine through the day, not a full pee so that her trousers are wet etc usually but very strong smelling damp knickers at the end of the day. just been looking for advice, took her to the doctors who thought she was fine and will grow out of it, she does get thrush often and I often suspect urine infections because of how strong dmelling her urine is and that her skin is often burnt by leaked urine. just been given cream to soothe these issues. Have been told we can get a mat with an alarm to help her realise when she has peed at night as dr believes it is just that she is a deep sleeper that she wets at night and this might help establish a routinem will let you know if it helps but dont see how it will benefit during the day, we have also been told to get her to ;double void' so she goes to the toilet then goes again after 5 minutes to make sure she fully emptied as may stop when desperate urge has gone and rush off without waiting til fully finished, hard to make sure she has sat on for long enough, though I ask her to sit on the loo when she has finished and think of a chorus of a song before standing up and wiping. hope these things are helping but damp knickers still a regular occurance. As for poop accidents, she never has these but my cousin who i was close to growing up did, her mum tried everything, once even losing it and chasing hitting her with a carrier bag full of tins because she had done it for the second time that day, Sometimes we could tell she needed to go because of the way she held herself but either she wouldnt, or sometimes she would and her mum would make her sit there for half an hour crying, then she would still have an accident later. her mum made her stay on there for hours sometimes because she wanted to be able to praise her for going on the toilet and wondered if it was a phobia and tried to break it. anyway it turns out that all the rewards and punishment, sticks of liqourice and beatings in the world wouldnt have helped because it finally got taken seriously by the doctors when she was at high school (her mum had taken her regularly about it up to then but was told no problem or mildly constipated, hence the liquorice) and it turned out that she needed an operation which stretched her anus, it had been really hard for her to go and extremely painful up to then but she hadnt been able to know that that wasnt the same for everyone because it had always been that way, so because it was painful and hard to get it out she had to wait for her body to force it out, the pain caused the stance that made us know she needed to go but even then she hadnt had control over when it came, after a small operation and 3 days in hospital her life was changed, she went from nervous girl to confident adult. Her mum felt awful about what she had put her through, but then she didnt know the problem and didnt want her stinky dirty and bullied and couldnt understand why she couldnt control it and blamed her own parenting for it happening. Because of this I dont want to punish my daughter or make it a huge issue if she really cant help it but I am keen to know if there are real causes for this leaking and to do what I can to solve it for her.
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Avatar_m_tn
It is common. I believe at age 6 one in 10 kids struggle with daytime wetting. That's 2 in every average class! The numbers go down with age but it still isn't that uncommon for it to continue till age 12.

If your doctor says it isn't a medical issue, see another doctor. Find one that will prescribe Oxytrol patches or similar. Don't accept oral drugs, they are nowhere near as effective. The patches are super easy to use and kids don't find them much of a hassle at all. They worked for us, reducing the accidents from at least one or two a day to one every week or 2 weeks.

Our urologist recommended using them for a while and then to start my daughter on a bladder training regime after she turned 8. But we stopped the patches, after using them for about a year and she stayed dry. Still have the occasional accident when she can't get to a toilet easily, but nothing to worry about really.

Then we started using the bedwetting alarm recently - 6 months after we stopped the Oxytrol. This method is really mostly psychological so the child has to be motivated. But it is working quite well for us.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow. I started this google search thinking that there would probably be no one out there that had to deal with a child like mine. I'm so relieved and devastated at the same time to hear so many others are going through the same thing and I've read from the beginning of the thread to 2009 and no one really seems to know what causes it or how to fix it. A little about my story. My daughter is turning 9 on Thursday. This should be a happy time but it's not. I'm so fed up with the multiple daily wetting. I've literally done everything. You can ask my dad who is a therapist I've done it all. I've tried encouragement, heart to hearts, punishment, potty charts, allowance, taking away tv, taking away toys, boxing up all her toys, having her do the laundry, buying toys/books, scheduled bathroom breaks, going to the doctor, going to the urologist, xrays, ultrasound, VCUG (insert catheter, insert camera through the cath and watch her pee...very painful), I've ignored it and explained it to her, prayed,and of course the miralax (got up to 3 capfuls 2x daily), I've even tried to embarrass her out of it and NOTHING! Nothing has changed. She doesn't know why she does it. She doesn't care that she does it. And in the last four years that it has happened there has only been 1 time she showed she was upset and embarrassed about it. That was last week. Since last week the wetting has hit its all time high. Some say it's stress. She's a kid in the summer. Her biggest stress is choosing which tv channel to watch or what toy to play with. I've heard some say they are single parents and so am I (the father left before she was born and never came back). So maybe that's it but not everyone on here is single parents. So I'm begging to have someone please hit REPLY and give me the key, the golden ticket, the answer to make her stop. I thought that it was a temporary problem and it's been four years. Potty training as a toddler was easy. This has not been. There's actually been a couple of times where she went to the bathroom on time and before she made it to the toilet she peed her pants cause she stopped to pet the cat or check herself out in the mirror. Really?! Thanks for the help in advance!!
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Avatar_m_tn
I have a 7 year old girl who will literally go through 6-8 panties a day. We put her on a fluid regiment and by her drinking more she will feel the larger amount of fluid and won't want to pee all over herself and everything else. So far we have seen a very positive reaction. We are down to a change here or there if we forget to keep her drinking. She does get irritable with our constant reminders but 1,2,3, is good for that. Hopefully one of the answers below will help. Good Luck God knows it is a pain on their *** if they don't change.-My bad attempt at humor.


Treatment for daytime wetting that is not caused by another medical condition may include:

•Medicine. Oxybutynin (Ditropan) may be used to treat daytime wetting in children and adults. It helps control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See the Medications section of the topic Bed-Wetting for more information.

•Surgery. If the child has daytime wetting that is caused by birth defects within the urinary system, surgery to correct the defect may be needed. But sometimes the surgery does not make the accidental wetting stop.

•Counseling. Sessions with a counselor may be helpful for the child who has accidental wetting that is caused by emotional stress. Counseling may involve psychotherapy or hypnosis (hypnotherapy). The goal is to reduce or help manage the stress or to prevent stress.

Home treatment

Home treatment may be all that is needed to improve daytime accidental wetting, especially if the wetting is not due to any medical condition or stress. Try the following:
•Encourage your child to go to the bathroom whenever the urge happens.
•Reward your child for being dry. You may use hugs, stickers, or special treats as rewards.
•Teach your child special exercises to control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See exercises to help a child gain bladder control and bladder-stretching exercises.
•Don't make your child wear a diaper. Wearing a diaper may make him or her feel babyish. Also, it may be hard for a child to get the diaper off when using the toilet. Wearing disposable underwear, such as Pull-Ups, may be helpful. But it may also make the problem last longer because the child may have less motivation to learn bladder control.

If your child delays going to the bathroom and holds on to urine until he or she loses control and wets, try the following:
•Encourage your child to use the toilet when you notice signs that he or she may need to go, such as squatting, squirming, crossing the legs, or standing very still.
•Offer more liquids to drink. Drinking more liquids will increase the amount of urine in the bladder, causing your child to need to go to the bathroom more often.
•Have your child go to the bathroom every hour during the day.
•Encourage your child to take extra time on the toilet so that he or she will be more likely to empty the bladder.


Let me know!!
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Avatar_m_tn
I do not believe that this is not a medical problem. The most likely reason why she seems to not care is because if she would allow her to feel embarrassed each time it happened, she would be an emotional wreck by now. It is self preservation.

An under-developed bladder is very common in kids. There isn't much to show for it. Usually the only give away is that the bladder appears small for the child's age.

And not all medication was created equal. We tried Ditropan with no noticeable effect. But when we switched to Oxytrol patches, the effect was immediate. My daughter used them for about 6 months and after that she stayed mostly dry, except for at night. We started using a bedwetting alarm for that, but that's another story.

We were advised by a urologist to see an incontinence specialist regarding bladder training too, but after the Oxytrol course there was no need for that anymore. It is vital that you allow the bladder to "calm down" for a while after starting Oxytrol before you do anything else. And it is very important that your child knows that you accept it is beyond her control. That is the first step in gaining her cooperation to take steps towards treating it. She needs your trust and help.
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Avatar_m_tn
I too have a daughter 8yrs who pees in her pants and not even know it.  When asked, will either deny or my body did not tell me I had to go.  I'm at my "wits end", all her accidents happen at school and at home.  Were you able to find a solution for your daughter?
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Avatar_m_tn
My advice is to shop around for a doctor that will prescribe Oxytrol patches. We ended up going to a urologist, but the paediatrician or maybe even a GP would be able go prescribe it too. Don't put up with doctors telling you that they cannot find a physical cause or that she will grow out if it. Just smile politely and immediately book an appointment with another doctor!  Not feeling when you have to go is not normal and is not psychological.

After the Oxytrol have worked for a while, it is advised to let the child do 'bladder' training. Most incontinence clinics and similar will be able to help with that. But I strongly advice you don't yet go that route until you have seen some results from medication. I made that mistake with my daughter and it put ask the reponsibilty for solving the problem back on her and was very damaging for her self esteem and confidence when it didn't work. The urologist told me that kids under 7 are too young for bladder training and also that you shouldn't do it if the bladder is likely to be 'irritated',  which is apparently what happens with this condition without treatment.

Good luck. I know what it's like and am very relieved it's now behind us.
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Avatar_m_tn
make her hold a sign in the street every time saying i pee my pants

I guarantee it will stop soon
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Avatar_m_tn
   That has got to be the worse advice I have ever heard.  What if the problem is caused my a medical problem.  How is holding up a sign going to cure that?  What is if it is caused by ADHD or an abuse problem, how is holding up a sign going to help?  
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8590589_tn?1398853074
I agree with sandman!
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Avatar_n_tn
Same problem here with 8 year old son.  Wish to hear from parents who have this history behind them, i.e. their boy/girl has no longer any problem. How was it resolved in the end? Boy in question here has been determined as perfectly normal in all functions and bodily makeup. No bullying, lots of friends, does well at school, but does have lazy streak. Also claims not to notice.
In addition to Oxytrol patch advice I would be very grateful to hear how others finally managed.  Many thanks in advance.
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Avatar_m_tn
Are his problems more at school? Or home?  Any particular time of the day?  Does he wet his bed?
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Avatar_m_tn
If you read our story, I think what my conclusion was that an underveloped bladder can be hard to diagnose. What the urologist told us was basically that her bladder looked smaller than average for her age and that was the only physical evidence to go by.

But if not for that, we wouldn't have tried the Oxytrol and wouldn't have solved the issue.

But at 8, it may be worth trying to find a clinic that does bladder training. Just be careful not to put too much of the responsibility to make this work onto your son. Whatever the reason, it is highly unlikely that he can consciously control this. So treat it like you would treat any other physical impairment and you are far more likely to gain his full cooperation with whatever strategy you choose.

We also used a bedwetting alarm for a while and that was quite an interesting experience. It worked really well for a while too, until her dad put too much pressure on her because he apparently was fed up washing sheets. But when it worked, it did demonstrate that you can train your subconscious brain up to a point.
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Avatar_m_tn
   Thank you that should be helpful!
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