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My 8 year old pees the bed and poops his pants constantly! Help!
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My 8 year old pees the bed and poops his pants constantly! Help!

We are having a terrible time with my child.  I have tried to work with him on the night time peeing problem, it is a common issue, but the pooping in his pants is definitely out of control.  Not only does he mess his pants, but he hides the dirty underwear and clothes all over the house for us to find later.  We keep smelling it, and we finally will come across it.  I have thrown away 20 pair of old dirty underwear.  I have tried making him clean them himself, spanking, grounding etc.  Today, he went in to take a bath, and when I went in, it reaked, in the floor was his original underwear with old poop stains and his long johns full of fresh poop.  I cleaned that up and I still smelt something, only to find another old pair, full, hidden in the tissue box.  Of course, he received a spanking and is gounded.  I have taken him to his pediatrician about this in the past and was told that he was just lazy.  He doesn't do this at school, why is he doing it at home or at his friends house?  Help me please!  Is this medical or is this psychological?
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The fact that your son displays encopresis at home and not at school would suggest that it might be related to stress at home. It would be wise to seek an evalaution with a child mental health professional. At his age, it is fine to insist that he clean himself and his clothing, but do not spank him. This will not help the condition and, in fact, may only serve to make it worse. Punishment is not a particularly effective response to this behavior. More dividends will be reaed from an incentive program whereby you reward your son for days on which he keeps himself clean. Now, most instances of encopresis are due to serious constipation, not to psychological factors, so it is also important to have him examined medically to be sure his bowels are not impacted. Finally, it may be that he is soiling himself at school as well, and that you are not aware of it. Check with the staff at school to be sure.
10 Comments
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Avatar_n_tn
I don't feel that it is medical due to the fact that he has bowel movements regularly.  Not hard, but normal.  It is not uncommon for him to soil (not just stain) his pants twice a day.  We had a big discussion last night with him, and he promises that this won't happen again.  We have been going through this for over 6mths., and have tried everything.  He is grounded until we see a normal pattern of going to the bathroom with no more soiled pants.  This seems to be the punishment that he hates the worst, so it is worth a try.  If after a week and no soiled pants, he will be off of restriction, and this should also tell me whether he can control it, or if it is a problem that he cannot control.   Once I see the results, if he cannot stop doing this, I will take him back to the pediatrician for further analysis of this.  Thank you for your guidance and quick response.  I will post once we figure it out in hope of helping others with the same problem.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'VE JUST READ A FEW OF THE OTHER PROBLEMS - WITH THE 8 YEAR

OLD BOY WHO STILL HAS POOPS IN HIS PANTS -- BUT ONLY DOES
IT AT HOME -- WELL MY SON IS 8 YEARS OLD AS WELL -- AND ITS
CONSTANT -- IVE BEEN TO EVERY DOCTOR -- AND THEY CANT
SEEM TO FIND OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM -- HE'S BEEN THROUGH
ALOT SENCE HE WAS AN INFANT - AT FIRST THE DOCTORS KEPT TELLING
ME IT WAS COLIC, - WELL THAT WAS THE FIRST YEAR -- THAN THEY
MADE ME KEEP CHANGING HIS FORMULAR THAN AS HE GREW OLDER THEY
MADE ME CHANGE HIS REGULAR FOOD DIET -- BECAUSE HE USE TO HAVE
BOWEL MOVEMENTS THE SIZE OF SOFTBALLS--  AND HE SCREAMED  CONSTANTLY WHILE THIS WAS HAPPENING--  WELL NOW THATS HE'S
OLDER ITS CONSTANT LEAKAGE -- IN HIS UNDERWEAR --IV'E
BEEN TO PSYHRIST AND I'VE BEEN TO THE SPECIALIST WITH GASTRONOLOGIST -- AND THEY SAID HE WAS FINE -  I ALWAYS ASKED
MY SON WHY CAN'T HE GO TO THE TOILET WHEN HE FEELS IT - HE SAYS
HE CANT FEEL IT --  BUT THE DOCTORS HAVE PROVEN THAT HE CAN??
HE HAS NO PROBLEM URINATING -- AND YES HE DOES WET THE BED AT NIGHT -- I'VE MADE HIM EMPTY OUT BEFORE BEDTIME - AND ALSO MAKE
HIM TRY AND DO A BOWEL MOVEMENT WHILE SITTIG ON THE TOILET -
TWICE A DAY - FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES -- NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK ---IM NOW GETTIN CALLS FROM HIS SCHOOLS AND DAY CARE CENTER (SOMEONE HELP) IM LOOSING MY PATIENCE---
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Avatar_n_tn
One of the signs of sexually abused children is soiling and wetting problems.  You may want to talk to your doctor or mental health professional about this possibility.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have the same problem. It could very well be medical (I kept denying it too). Check out:
http://hsc.virginia.edu/cmc/tutorials/constipation/encopre.htm
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Avatar_n_tn
I also have an 8 year old boy that soils hiself daily and also wets, both day and night.
He has done this since pre-school and after trying to get help for four years, and school constanly hinting that there must be problems at home, we are finaly being listened to. My sons is seeing a peadatricain reguarly and they have confirmed that it is a medical conditon and is really quiet common. It can also be a symptom of a number of other conditions in the autistic spectrum disorders and also A.D.H.D. i am currently fighting for my child to be assessed for these things. If the results come back negative and he has none of these conditions, fine, but his origanl problem is still a medical problem. So the more you punish your child for thses accidents the more damage you will do.
My son has had bowel and bladder scans that have come back clear so there are no obvious reasons other than his brain is not communicating that he needs the toilet, it is not his fault and the medics assure me it is very very common espeacialy in boys.
So please dont punish your child, just encourage your child to tell you this has happened, the reward idea for clean days is a good idea but if your child has an accident dont make a big deal over it, it just makes him feel worse.
.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a six year old son who has been peeing in the closets; first it was his a few months ago and tonite it was his sisters.  Has anyone else had this problem?
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a problem too i have a 6 year old daughter that poops in her pants. There for awhile she was using the bathroom ok.
Then she started back up to poop in her pants. Iasked her doc.
And he said it was either from lazyness or just to wait till she was ready on her own. To use the bathroom. I really don't understand any of this i tryed everything . She does good for a while and boom and then she does it in her pants.
She also has lots of bowel movements a day even at night. And sometimes she says she didn know that she had to go.
I really dont know what to do anymore this has been going on for about little over a year.
Does anyone out there have any ideas what else to do.

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Avatar_n_tn
I unfortunately feel a kinship with the frustration that so many parents have had due to this problem.  It's embarrassing for my son and for my family when we are in a public place and we smell him.  But just the look on his face when he knows we know what has happened is enough to break to your heart.  We've tried the rewards, bribes, threats, punishment and ignoring the problem, just having him clean himself and wash his own laundry.  I thought that he just didn't want to break away from his playing to take care of his business. We've had several conversations with him about why this is such a bad thing, the fact that he is 8 years old and still soiling himself like a baby.  I thought we had this problem fixed, I was setting times in the morning and evening for him to use the toilet, but to no avail.  As a last resort I went to WebMD and found that this problem might be a medical issue.  That was enough for me to make an appt. with a doctor.  (And yes I did tell my son that he was going to the doctor and for what reason.)  There was little information on WebMd, regarding the name and treatment, so found this site and just knowing that others are going through the same thing, somehow makes me feel better, that I didn't do something that makes him afraid of the toilet.  I also went to the website as suggested for the Virginia's Childrens Medical Center which has more information on treatment and a name.  It also informed me that the treatment isn't a prescribed medication.  My son's Dr. appt. is tomorrow and I will post what the Dr. says.  I would urge each and every one of the people that are having this problem to contact their childs dr, with articles from this web page and those I mentioned above so that the dr. knows that this is a problem and chances are will not go away without some sort of treatment.
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Avatar_n_tn
Like eating disorders this might be a control issue. It also might be a sign of oppositional defience disorder. I also agree that mostly with boys, that this issue in slightly older children is a sign of sexual abuse. Many parents don't want to consider something so horrific could happen to their child but with 1:3 girls and 1:5 boys being molested before they reach 16,it is something we must all consider as a possiblity. Asking children if it's happened to them can be fruitless as most will deny it(especially boys). The best way to rule out sexual abuse is by psychologists working together with the medics. You will need to seek out professionals that specialize in child sexual abuse as most GPs haven't got a clue and may even dismiss the idea as you being paranoid or hypervigilant
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A related discussion, why does my 10 year old son still poop in pants was started.
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My 6 yr old daughter has started to poop on herself and wet herself at night. She has frequent leg cramps that causes this type of behavior. It comes and goes and has been like this for a yr now. It is driving me crazy. She was born at 25 wks gestation so naturally everything scares me. What is wrong with my baby? She says she can't help it. I have tried spanking, grounding rewards and everything I don't know what else to do. The dr says the leg cramps are growing pains and that she's just being lazy but I don't buy it. Please someone help.
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Avatar_f_tn
Please don't spank your children for accidents beyond their control. They are losing bowl movements and bladder control. They must be in some distress due to this and it must be related to either home or social environments! I would be very vigilant over the weeks with who they are around, what's being said, and seen, they obviously have stress problems. Spanking only adds more anxiety to these poor helpless little people. They need your solution to the problem. Not add more to it!!
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