My 8 year olds sons behavior

[celeste]

My son is 8 years old, and when he was 6 1/2 years old, diagnosed with ADD.  He is on 20mg Ritalin, which you definitely see a difference in him.  But when he gets home at night, it is a fight with him to do anything.  He talks back, he thinks he is always in control.  I have tried the "time out" taking things away that matter to him, and I do not know what to do with him.  

Also I yell a lot and I want to learn to stop.  I do not want to yell, but I am so frustrated.  I am a single mom and I am tired when I get home.  And I yell a lot and I DO NOT WANT TO YELL !!!

Any suggestions, would help tremendously!!!

Celeste

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Celeste,

In spite of the frustrations that can arise in parenting, it is important to maintain our equanimity. If we, in our role as parents, don't maintain our self-control, it inhibits our ability to be of help to our children.

It's time to sit down with a child behavioral health clinician. Such a person can guide you in your parenting efforts and help you setle on a systematic way to manage your son's behavior.

It might also be useful for your son to have a dose of his Ritalin around 4:00 in the afternoon. This may give him some assistance in behaving. Discuss this possibility with the prescribing physician.

[sympathetic mom]

I think he needs to get some behavioral counseling.  I have a 7y/o son who is ADD and on 10mg ritalin a day. (He is small for his age)  I definately notice a difference in him as well.  When he gets up in the mornings before the med. he cannot stand or sit still constantly moving and pacing and cannot focus on any one thing.  Several minutes after the med he has calmed down enough to follow simple directions.  

As for the yelling I am a yeller at times as well.  I used to yell all the time, constantly. I finally started giving myself a sort of time out.  Taking a couple quick breaths and attempting to count to ten etc. trying to relax before speaking.  I did this because I did not want to yell anymore either and I could see it was really bothering my kids.  My oldest daughter was always yelling at her brother.

[Kyle's Mom]

Disengage, disengage, disengage!  I've BTDT and you are only escalating the problem.  Give positive praise for good behavior and try not to respond to the bad.  Your son is experiencing Ritalin rebound and cannot control his actions.  Does he apologize later?  If not you need to talk to him in a calm and loving manner and tell him that you do not appreciate the disrespect and if it continues his consequence will be no TV for 24 hrs or whatever he really likes to do.  And if you have to invoke the consequence do so in a calm, nonconfrontational manner then walk away.  

Read "The Defiant Child".  This will give you good tips on how to handle this.