Whenever we visit or are visited by someone she feels the need to draw attention to herself by acting obnoxious and silly. This is more severe than the usual "ham" stuff, she will lose all control over herself and would appear to have no sense of proper behavior. This is mostly with people that are new or that we do not see regularly. She does seem to be ok with friends of family that she sees on regular basis. Tonight she became very excited when company came, acted half her age for most of the time and ended up wetting herself. She does not even seem to be embarrased when doing things like this. We have talked to her about this, explaining that it is ok to be silly sometimes. She seems to understand, but as soon as the doorbell rings-she loses her mind. She has always needed to be center of attention- she gets plenty, but never seemed to recover from havng to share our attention when her sister was born six years ago. What can we do to help her gain some self control.
My sense is that your daughter is not so much trying to be the center of attention, as she is anxious about the presence of unfamiliar people. Her difficulty seems to be confined to such a context.
It might be useful to chat with her about what it is like for her to be in the company of people she doesn't know. It would also be useful to develop a specific plan, part of which might limit the amount of time she actually spends around the unfamiliar people. For example, she might prefer to spend some time alone reading or playing quietly.
Part of the plan should be to clearly spell out rewards and punishments she can expect, contingent on the behavior she displays.
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