I have a 9 year old son who refuses to listen to anyone. He is pushing the limits on acceptable behavior & actually knows he is just plainly making bad choices. There are so many factors involved in my current situation, that I feel like I am making excuses instead of progress. He was tested for ADD & ADHD & ODD & all the test proved was that he is literally a genius (for his age, which can be lost) and that he is "normal" otherwise. Unfourtionatly we have moved a lot, he has been in 3 different school in 3 different years (I know that this does not help). I finally got us settled & he is in an excellent school yet he refuses to do his homework, take resposability for his education & just leaves the class when he doesn't want to participate. He has an attitude of life is just going to get handed to him. I never spoiled him; I didn't have the financial means to. My mother is undermining me continually but I feel inspite of that, that he should listen to the rules I have & that the school has regaurdless of "grandma's ways".
I have tried talking to him repeatidly about why he does act out (he recently kicked a teacher) & why he is constantly going for the "bad choices" that he knows he's just going to get in trouble for & the only responce I get from him is "I don't know"... I have lost jobs because of having to deal with him at school or having my mother constantly berate me over my parenting. I am not a rotten parent, just strict in proper behaviour. (as I was raised, go figure?)
My only back up is from my aunt. She agrees that regaurdless he should be listening to my rules & that he is highly intellegent & knows that what he does is wrong. I am scared to see him change from a truly sweet, loving, poliete & decent child into this monster that was created by my mother & that she blames me for. I can not help right now living with her (first time since he was born & due to current economic state) & I keep trying to encourage him that we will be in our own place again & I keep trying to remind him of how happy we were when we got along ect ect... but then no sooner have I think I have turned a corner with him, he goes right back to acting like a spoiled brat who thinks the world owes him something (that attitude came from my mother, I intentially have gone "against the grain" with her line of thinking & attitude, thus we do not get along well)
As I said, there are A LOT of factors that contribute to this issue but I need to get my son to understand that he can NOT continue this behaviour.
Is there a certain way to get it through to a 9 year old boy? Are there certain words? I have gone from one end of talking, to losing my mind & yelling (I hate that, never had to ever yell at him before). I don't want to lose the awsome little man I had, but I don't know how to reach him & make him understand that he is going down a rotten path & that scares me. I never thought I would use a web site for help, but I am at a loss & I don't know what else to do.