My Child is out of Control, I believe

My child will be 6 next month, he started Kindergarten last Monday. Every morning he has to be pulled out of the car kicking and screaming at the teachers. The school called me less than a week, and they had to paddle him. He is a smart kid, but he will not do any of his work at school, he want talk to anyone, he want eat or use the bathroom all day while he is at school. He does not even lay on his mat at nap time. He is not quit or shy at home just around strangers and school. He was in preschool for 3 years and he cried every morning there also, and he wouldn't perticipate in anything or eat all day. I don't know what to do. We have punished him and took everything away but he it doesnt bother him, he hates to say he is sorry.

[RockRose]

It sounds like he has severe anxiety,  mommy.  I'm surprised the school paddled a child who doesn't talk, eat,  or use the restroom while there.

He needs a psychiatric evaluation.

Best wishes.

[razeberryrain582]

oh sorry 2 hear that i know its hard on u as well!!! maybe he can go and talk 2 someone elese they maybe able 2 help u deal with this!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

I didn't even know it was still legal to paddle a child.

Can you take the poor guy out of school?  I sure would not put my kid into such an unhappy situation, that crying every day thing (and the fact that despite his tears you still dragged him to school) really bothers me.  Sure, some kids do cry about going to preschool, but they should not cry every day for years.  

[jdtm]

I think RockRose is correct - your child is suffering from severe anxiety.  The fact he does not speak to strangers also suggests he might be selectively mute (one of the behaviours of severe social anxiety).  I  might suggest you google the phrase "selective mutism" or "severe social anxiety in children" or similar words/phrases to read about this issue.  One of the best sites on the internet for information is "selectivemutism.org" which I might suggest you begin by reading the FAQ's.  One of the best  books on this topic is "The Ideal Classroom Setting for the Selectively Mute Child" by Elisa Shipon-**** (you should be able to order this from the internet).  It appears your son's school desperately requires this information in order to help him and the book is relatively inexpensive.  By the way, anxiety is very common in today's stressful society.

But, the first step is to contact your family doctor or pediatrician.  If he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referral to a medical mental health specialist as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist.  If anxiety is the issue, then your son will require professional help to learn how to manage his fears.  Our child suffers from severe social anxiety so I know the path you probably will be taking but there is hope at the end of the tunnel.  It appears that your son's anxiety is so severe that it is preventing him from speaking, eating, using the washroom, learning, doing his work, sleeping (just like our child) - he is not choosing this; he is unable to function in social environments which he perceives to be unsafe.  That is why is is able to function at home - he feels safe and comfortable.  One more thing - if anxiety is the issue, your son will not outgrow this nor will it go away but, with treatment, he will learn how to manage his fears and anxieties.  Please write if you feel if you have any additional questions.  I wish you the best ....

[Sandman2]

  Lots of good ideas from all above.  But in re-reading your post, I noticed you said, "he want talk to anyone, he want eat or use the bathroom all day while he is at school."
      Do you mean he WANTS to talk to everyone, or he WON'T talk to everyone?  It makes a HUGE difference in our answers!

[skrom]

I had a similar problems with my kid when she was in preschool. That time I agreed with the teacher, and was in the same room with my daughter, after several days, I moved to the chair next to the door, then started to leave for some time, and then she was fine. Of course it took time for her to adjust and get used to other kids and teachers.

[mommyof2boys28]

I MEAN HE WON'T TALK TO ANYONE.

[Sandman2]

thankyou!
  This makes jdtm's comments even more relevant.

[benjimom]

please tell the school you do not want him to be paddled! I wasn't sure anyone did this anymore.  He is anxious.  

I would call your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist. I would also ask the school if they have any further resources for him and can help him.  Does the school have a behavioral specialist that can come on board and help?

My son was having a lot of issues in kindergarten adn now he's in a special classroom,he is doing much better. He also has senosry issues and is getting therapy for it.