My Son Does not want to go to day care in the morning

[yukaren]

My son is 2.5 years old and been in a family day care for 7 months. He used to love that place and going in there without problem. In these two weeks, he started refuse to go there and when we arrive the day care, he will just standing outside of the family day care and does not want to go in. Doesn't matter if my husband or I drop him off in the morning, he just cry and didn't want to go. What should we do?

[d&gmominkc]

We've had the same thing. I think it's totally normal behavior. Your best bet is to be quick and firm when you leave. Take him in, hug him and tell him you love him, then leave immediately. Usually the crying/sadness stops within a few minutes. I researched it a lot on the Web and that was usually the recommendation. The only other thing to be sure of is that there's not something at the daycare that could be an issue -- that the provider isn't hurting him, another kid isn't bothering him, etc. If it doesn't get better, maybe consider whether another type of childcare environment might be better. Bottom line in my opinion is little ones want to be with their parents so nothing else is going to be as good as you. :)

[mum2beagain]

My son (3) has been in morning daycare for nearly a year and a half. He was okay at first but after a couple of months went through a real clingy phase and cried everyday, usually only for a few minutes. I had a baby in January and about four weeeks ago he started doing it again, it lasted 3 weeks and this week he has been fine. It is perfectly normal for any toddler to go through phases like this. If you are confident that the childcare provider is good and has not changed anything there then I wouldn't worry. Keep drop off to a quick goodbye and then leave, the longer you stay the harder it is for them.

[Consuela2]

Please Help. My neice does not like going to DayCare at all and I mean at all. After I get her up in the morning, I always say lets get ready for school. From that point on, there is constant screaming and hollaring from that point on. Once we pull up at day care, she immediatley begins bursting with tears crying. It makes me not want to go to work in the morning because of it. I also feel bad after leaving her there. This will be here third week there. And yes, she cries throughout the day. What is it that i need to do. I even tried prasing her for not crying or to stop crying and that does not seem to work. I may also need to add that she has never been to daycare before. She just turned two at the beginnging of August and we are working on potty training. What helpful advice would or could someone give me?????

[babygirl6152]

I am a preschool teacher of 'early two's"/ We had 1/2 of our 8 kiddos scream and cry on day one. Separation anxiety lessened every day all except for one baby. The sad thing is- when one would start to calm down and another boy realized his mom was gone- all in the matter of 30 seconds- he would start screaming again. We have 6 hour days and this boy screams all day when he is in the room. When he goes out of the room, he calms. I have no idea why. The other teacher is loving and patient. I love little ones. The thing that hurt me the most is that I overheard the mother says that I don't like her son. I feel as if she had slapped my face it would not have hurt more. It is almost like she said I abuse him. I adore all these babies.
She does not work and I really do hope for the boys sake that she stops bringing him- he doesn't have to be there- she is just determined to get her 2 days off a week. He is not ready to be away from mom. He cannot be consoled, and I have no idea what to do to calm him. Singing softly and rocking him works for about a minute, then the screaming starts all over again. He is miserable!!!! The director tries to calm him, etc etc. Nothing works for more than a few seconds except removing him from the room. All I can think of is that it is a small room and maybe he feels claustrophobic.
An in home sitter is the best thing for you maybe, if she has to have a sitter. At least she will be around familiar things.  Is it a tantrum and not just crying? If it is a tantrum and screaming you may want to try rewarding her at the end of the week with something big. Tell her she can cry for a little bit after you leave if she is just sad, then when the caregivers tell her that is "enough" she needs to try to soothe herself. She may be mature enough to reason with, and she may not. But we had one  2 year old this week tell me that if she didn't scream, her mom would take her shopping after school and her mom followed thru. This little girl is allowed to cry for a bit but not SCREAM- we told her it upsets the other babies and she understood us. Does the niece have a pacifier? Lots of our kids used a pacifier last year. Any other lovey?
Just don't blame the teacher- believe me, if we had some magic formula to make them happy- we would use it!

btw i have scoured the net looking for ideas so i am open to suggestions also.

i have found that for the first 4 weeks separation anxiety is normal and should continue to get a little better every day. After 4 weeks it is diagnosed "separation anxiety disorder" and will probably not improve. Of course, I am sure at some point, they will improve but maybe not for a long while. The whole situation should be rethought and some intervention for short term care.

[Onetime153]

I have been separated for 10 months and my sons goes threw faces where he does not want to go to school at all. He gets in a bad mood and just refuses to do it. I have to call the father and at times he is the one that comes over and talks to him and the only way it works is by him telling him I promise you a gift and for a bit it works but then he goes back to the same thing. Can some one tell me what I should do?

[MrsMoroni]

I am a mother of 7 and believe me, it was not easy.  But I decided something early on,  I would not put my kids in daycare.  No one loves them as much as you.  I also didn't want to miss the joy of motherhood with watching my kids grow and develop.  We were NOT rich, but I learned ways of cooking from scratch so I wouldn't have to spend much on meals, I even sewed some and could repair clothes others would of just thrown out. I learned to shop at second hand stores and found I loved to go to garage sales. When you consider the cost of daycare, gas, clothes for work, lunches, and picking something up at the store for dinner cause your to tired to cook, is it really worth it????  If you still need income, there are so many ways to earn money and stay at home.  I started a preschool and made a fantastic income, and no, I don't have a degree.  We even took big tax breaks because you can deduct so much for having a home business.  Home electricity, car payments, telephone, gas, even home payments and lots more.  But nothing can compare to the fun and sometime pulling out your hair, of raising your own kids, watching them learn and make discoveries, Do yourself a favor, and stay home.