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My autistic son is hitting other children at school..
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My autistic son is hitting other children at school..

My 6 year old son has been in a special class for the past two years and we have not had any problems at all. Now this year the school has put him in a regular class room with over 20 children.
Since school started a little over a month ago, there has been constant problems. He is hitting him self, hitting other children, have really bad tantrums, having accidents in his pants.
I have tried talking to his teacher and she tells me that he needs time to adjust, I have talked to the head of the school and she told me that everything will be fine and that they will start sending my son to a different therapy and that it will help him with the issues he is having during the day at school. They will not move him to a smaller class room because the school is not set up to handle that. His teather is not trained to handle children with needs.
I think its the class size and the fact that there is not a routine. I think it is all to much for him. He does not handle stress well at all, he is not social.
Today I get a phone call from the school telling me that my son scratched another child in the neck pretty bad. I feel really bad for the other child! I feel really bad for my son. He was then sent to the office and had to sit in a chair for a long period of time and wait to be seen by the head of the school. He does not have a clue what is happening ad can not explain to them what happened or the reason why he did it.
I was told that I needed to take my son home and that they would be adding a record to his file about this. She also told me that everytime this happened I would need to come get him and take him home. But in the same breath she is tellig me that I will need to get a doctors note when I check him out because him missing school is not excused. I can not get a doctors note 2 or 3 times a week. I have to pay a co-pay everytime I take him.
I have tried talking to my son, taking things away and working on making right choices and wrong ones. The problem is he does not do this at home. He is on abusive of other people at school. I feel like the school is of no help at all. I tried to talk to them and ask for advice or tips. They do not have anything for me. I dont know where to turn or who to talk to....
I feel really bad for the other children that my child is hurting.
I know my son and he has never been like this before, I feel like there has to be something going on.
I would love to hear anyones advice or tips. Im lost here.
6 Comments Post a Comment
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535822_tn?1389452880
Has he any siblings , or family ,babysitters may do similar to him, I ask this as children even autistic ones copy and learn from others ..what about the children at school do any of them hit , is he the only one ? He sounds upset by something ..how do the teachers treat him ?
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377493_tn?1356505749
My cousin is autistic, and on the severe end of the spectrum. He too was mainstreamed, and I know it was pretty tough at times.  He also reacted aggressively at times, and my aunt and at least 1 of his therapists believe he was just overwhelmed intially with the amount of kids, the increased noise levels, etc.  They got him an aide.  The aide went to class with him and not only assisted him, but as he got close to her she became sort of his "safe person".  She could calm him quite quickly.  Eventually he did adjust and things went more smoothly.  I'm not sure where your son is on the spectrum, but perhaps something similar might be the case?  I'm no expert on autism, but I know that sensory overload can be problematic. It's good to get him used to it, but it might just be a time thing.  All the best to you.
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Avatar_f_tn
huni..your son does not have the problem,its others around him..which is so sad in this day and age..its them that do have the problem... i dont know where your from or how your educational system works,i do know that it differs from every town,to every city,to every country..and most of all..from every so called "class" of people,...but as a parent,u just have to fight... teachers,social workers.doctors,and all alike..just because they took exams and read books and passed exams..doesnt mean they right..doesnt mean they know your child the way you do..if there was an exam in motherhood..you would pass with flying colours..they wouldnt.. fight..except nothing less than the best...and fight
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171768_tn?1324233699
If he is diagnosed autistic, what does his IEP call for? This situation sounds completely unacceptable to me. I would contact his case worker immediately. Is this a public school? If not, I think you may be better off going in to the public school system. I cannot understand how this can be happening. Your child is entitled to an education in the public school system. They HAVE to make the accommodations called for in an IEP. If it calls for a 1 on 1 then he needs it. If it calls for a small classroom, then they have to give it. Please pursue this further. If you don't know how, then reach out to a local autism support organization or social worker to help you get what your son needs.
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1705346_tn?1349995806
M'am.  I think the school was rude to your son and to you because they did not set up a correct transition for him.  Being Autistic myself I can tell you this: If you switch my daily lunch of Ramen Noodles every single day at 12:00hrs then I have a hard time remembering how to perform my schedule as planned.  So, as an adult, I have conditioned myself to purposely disrupt my daily routines.  If you watch your child very closely you will see at what age he is ready for that.  But until that age of maturity comes it will be very, very upsetting for him to experience, sometimes even, the most minor of changes to his daily routine.  And something this drastic is absolutely overwhelming for him!  I hear it's gotten to the point he has accidents in class.  This tells me that his mind is so overloaded with new challenges that he can't function very well at all.  I will explain it this way and this may help you understand better.  Imagine that your son's brain is running the very first computer operating system or os.  Then imagine loading a software program off of the latest os! (I cannot name the system on here; but it should be easy to guess computer operating systems).  So, the result: so much information that it would bog down the older os and the computer would lock up!  It is possible that, that is what happened.  Your son's brain is not able to process that much new information at such a rapid pace and he locked up.  Add to that emotional stress that he doesn't even understand at this age, and he becomes terrified and scared.  I think you need to print documents off the internet detailing Autism, especially from government sites because they are highly credible. And get a local doctor to put it in writing, explaining to the school about your son's condition.  It sounds like they don't fully understand Autism.  And if you don't make a stand to help them learn what it really is, than this situation could repeat itself with another child.  That is where I would start.  Don't get angry or upset.  Try to think the best positives you can.  Maybe they just don't realize what Autism really is.  So offer to provide them with the information.  They may snap at you, but remain calm.  If they won't help you with this.  Go to your local authorities the activists for disabled human rights and Autism Awareness Advocates.  You won't solve anything by getting upset.  You have to keep strategizing on what your next move could be.  You have to remain calm under pressure.  Sounds like they are blaming you for your son's behavior.  So you have to be tough, calm, and patient.  Go through your phone book, ask around town, the local court house even, find the agencies that will stand up for you and your son's rights.  The bottom line is that he is not ready for regular classes yet.  The instant they saw that, they should have put him back in his familiar classroom and calmed him down, then waited and tried again at a much later time.  If he is higher functioning he can attend regular classes; but only when he is able to handle it.  He is Not ready at this time!  Please go through all the trouble it takes to get them to realize this, because it does hurt your son emotionally.  I know what it's like to have emotions and not be able to express them.  Even though I don't express my emotions openly, I still feel pain on the inside.  It's not fair and it's an awful challenge, but you can learn to be tougher than world M'am.  Do it for your son.  That is my advice from what I have read on here.  I wish you luck and prayers, you will need them both! :)

Um, I'm also going to apologize to you All for the improper posting of my wife "Autistic4Wife" on this and many other posts as well. She doesn't understand that this is a *Medical* Forum not a place to talk to people about your own personal life and especially not private matters. It's my fault for failing as the Commanding Officer of my home!   I am sorry to you all. Let me make this right before it goes any further. I am going to talk to her about sharing our entire lives on a *medical* forum. If she continues this behavior I promise you all that I will deal with it. I think she just doesn't understand how to correctly use the site and is trying to advocate changes to online security because of something the neighbor's child got involved with and so many other things - and this just plain and simple is Not the place for that.

So, please accept my apologies to Everyone on here.
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Avatar_f_tn
hi i dont think i have read a more helpful and supportive post in all the years i have been on medhelp...as well as kindness and constructive advice..  god bless you. with best wishes
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