My brother is afraid of everything!

[Drea0324]

My brother is 9 years old and has a lot of issues that have to do with fears. He still sleeps with my mom and dad in their bed, poops his pants because he's afraid of going to the bathroom by himself, and has an extreme fear of getting sick/throwing up. Whenever we go out to eat he smells the food first and asks "Can this make me throw up?". He's always checking expiration dates on things before eating them, I know he's being cautious but it's a bit extreme. He hates going out.. anywhere literally. He doesn't like going anywhere at all. A normal kid would never say no to places like Disneyland or the beach. He's been checked by several doctors and they have all said he's perfectly healthy. Theses examples I gave are just a few of the things he does. Our family is very concerned as we feel that all of these issues are keeping him from living a healthy and happy childhood. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Drea0324]

He says that the only place he feels comfortable in is school. There are actually four of us me being the oldest, two other sisters ages 11 and 3. The 11 yr old goes to school with him and she says he doesn't act the same at school as he does at home. He appears to be fine at school. He did have an experience about three years ago where he threw up at the DMV. I know for a fact that that was when everything started only it didn't get as bad until he was about... I wanna say 7 or 8.

     When my mom noticed she did talk to his teacher and other administration and he began to see a therapist. We did feel he improved but my mother being the workaholic she is, she missed a few sessions and he was dropped. My mom felt that he didn't need it anymore and didn't take him back. He was fine for awhile up until recently he started again. Now I know my mom has a lot to do with it. She has always worked a lot and I'm assuming she tried to make up for it by baby-ing him.

  As for the exercising, my dad put him in a soccer league to try and get his mind off everything. He's been playing for awhile but it doesn't seem to have any effect with the issues at home.

    I guess my question is if he should be taken to a therapist again or if there are things we as a family can work on together in order to help him.

Thank you so much for the feedback.

[RockRose]

Intense fear of vomiting,  "Emetophobia" is actually very common.  

All the rest of this stuff sounds like other anxiety issues.  

Does he get regular intense physical exercise?  Sounds like he'd be a great candidate for a trampoline.

[Sandman2]

   Well, he is not the only kid with some of the fears you mentioned.
  There are a lot of kids (well, at least boys that I personally know of) who had troubles with elementary school bathrooms.  Most of the time it was because the teacher would not let them go during class, so they had to go during break with a ton of other boys in bathroom - and the other kids could make it kinda of a bad situation.  Has he always had this problem, or just this year?
  I have also noticed that if a child has seen another child throw up (or worse - been sitting next to them), it can really affect them!  If a child throws up in a public place - like a school lunch room - it is highly embarrassing!  If your brother was a friend of this child (or was the child), it's something that will ingrain itself into his memory.   So it may be that a lot of this food thing has to do with a throwing up experience.
   Now having said this, if he is pooping in his pants at home on weekend or at night - thats a different matter.    Sleeping with your mom and dad in bed is really more their fault than his - and it is highly unusual at his age, and for all parties concerned.
   I guess the most important question is what is he like at school?  If a lot of these fears don't show up there, then its probably more related to home.
   There is a 9 year difference in your ages - if there are no other siblings between you - he probably has been "mothered" a bit too much growing up.
   When you say he doesn't like to go anywhere at all - is that because he would rather stay at home reading or playing video games?  And he is allowed to?
   I hate to say this because it may be hard for you to deal with.  But, I think that at least part of the problem is not him, but your parents.  Its time for them to start expecting and demanding more from him.  It won't be easy at first - because they have all adjusted to this life style.  But if they want him to have a more normal childhood, its time to start treating him like a 9 year old and not a 4 year old.  Don't go crazy with this.  Pick a thing or two to start changing and realize it won't happen overnight - he has/they have had 9 years to get into this routine.
   Finally, I should add that if he is also very fearful at school - and the teachers have commented on this without prompting - then professional help might be required.  Good Luck!  

[k10road]

Some fears are normal, but yes, I agree that his do sound a little extreme.  Most kids would never say no to Disney.  Sounds like he has had some traumatic experience with throwing up???  I personally hate throwing up too, but I'm not that extreme.  

The doctors that have seen him, have they been regular pediatricians?  Has he seen a child therapist or child psychologist?  If not, that would be the course that I would follow if it were my child.