My child will not wear clothes in car seat, and will not wear pants, shorst and screams over panties...

My 3 1/2 year old daughter will not wear panties, pants or shorts.  When she sits in her car seat she has to be naked.  I have tried EVERYTHING you can think of.  She screams, kicks, gets out of car seat, and this would go on for hours if aloud.  She says that they hurt her but.  She had a constipation issue when she was two, she would hold it in until it hurts really bad, I had to give her laxatives for over 6 months and put her on toliet screaming and crying for months before she realized it didnt hurt to go poop.  I dont know if this clothes issue is coming from that or not.  She potty trained herself because it started with diapers, she just decided she didnt want to wear them anymore.  She would scream if I tried to put them on at night and she would have nothing to do with pull ups.  Then she started with shorts and pants around the age of two.  She will not wear them, period.  Now it is to underwear, she screams when I put them on.  We got through 10 pair before we get out the door and she takes them off to sit in car seat.  I am so very stressed out over this.  I do not know what to do, I have tried, ignoring, spanking, brives, threats to take away activities.  She does not care.  In swim class (we go through about five bathing suits every time too) she pulls at the bottoms of them, dance class she screams over wearing the tights and constantly pulls at her leatard.  The other parents all think its funny, "oh she dont like having a wedgie" or "oh its a phase she will get over it"  I just want to cry.  If anyone knew what I have to go through to get her dressed to leave the house and then re-dressed to get out of the car.  Its horrible.  I asked the doctor and the first thing the doctor says "is there any way should could have been abused"  There is not, I stay home with her, she never stays at anyones house other than my Aunt and my Grandmother.  The doctor even checked.  Recommened I take her to a counselor.  I have meet with a counselor and my daughter has met with her once.  She wants to see her every other week.  She wants to do play therapy with her.  I am not convinced this will help.  Cant she take the car seat into her office and go from there.  I really do not know what to do.  My daughter will be starting school next year and she will not be able to go if this continues.  I am afraid to handle this the wrong way and make it worse.  Any advice would be helpful.

[RockRose]

I think you need to meet with an Occupational Therapist,  not a counselor.

She apparently has sensory issues,  and they can help.  

There is an advertiser on this website who advertises clothing for children with sensory issues,  but I can't find it right now.  

What I DID find,  when searching with the google terms "clothing for children with sensory issues" is a LOT of helpful websites!  Google it and see if they will help you -

Best wishes.

[Sandman2]

   This really sounds like sensory integration disorder.  You need to read up on it and see if it fits.  Here is one web site and there are others.    
    http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html

[specialmom]

My son has sensory integration disorder and it can be very upsetting to a family.  But most importantly-------- very upsetting to the child!  They are so uncomfortable that it may even feel like pain with certain clothing and other tactile issues.

My son also exhibits tactile defensiveness (which is what you describe!).  At 4, he was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder.  He had other things going on besides tactile issues but those caused some big meltdowns.  He hated to have his hands washed for example and at preschool . . . they did it a few times during the 2.5 hours he was there.  He'd have a melt down every time.

An occupational therapist is the one that diagnoses and treats for sensory integration disorder.  Sensory is an issue with the nervous system and how the brain processes things.  Occupational therapy is so fun for kids but it is working out that nervous system and working on behavioral things to help a child develop better.  The hand washing situation with my child------------ within a month . . . gone.  I'm dead serious.  Now, when he is tired or sick he will tell me that he does not like having his hands washed--------- but no tears and no big displays of discomfort. They do this thing called brushing which is really helpful and compressions.  My son has an issue with socks.  They do make seamless socks which are great.  My son will still not wear those in our home but I'm okay with that.  He wears them whenever he wears tennis shoes.  No issues.

Your daughters tactile defensiveness sounds extreme.  I'd seek an occupational therapist evaluation and they will work on this and help her.  I imagine she has texture issues as well with food.  (My son does).  Anyway, I highly recommend occupational therapy as it has done miracles for my boy!! It changed the course of his life and made us a happier family!  good luck

[GoingCrazyKC]

Thank you everyone for your comments, I am in the process of trying to find a ocupational theapist, the one I contacted can not get her in until July I dont think I can wait that long.  We will see.

[benjimom]

this sounds like sensory issues, definitely tactile defensiveness. It may be funny to other parents, but they would not be laughing if they were in your shoes. It's hard hard work and frustrating too and like walking on eggshells.  Ask your doctor about a referral to an OT who can evalaute for sensory processing disorder. If you find a type of clothing she likes a lot, stock up on it. The clothes may hurt her.  

My son will only wear elastic waist clothing made out of soft fabrics, forget khakis or jeans.  Can't wear them.  He will only wear knit tops or jersey material tops.  Finding shoes is very difficult for him, we try on many pairs before we find a pair he will wear.  Getting him to wear socks after being in sandals all summer is hard too.  

[benjimom]

THe OT told me that a lot of kids with SPD have issues with toilet training.  It's a neurological condition.