My eight year old is extremely fearful at night time

  My daughter, ever since she was born has had difficulty being on her own when it
   is time to go to bed.  She never slept through the night until she was 4 years old...and that was only for one night.  
  When she started kindergarden, she slept a little better...but even now still wonders down into our bed at night.  
  Why is it that she seems so fearful when we tuck her into her bed at night?  She will often cry in hysteria for a couple of hours
  then finally falls asleep (and this is at 8 years old).  She says that she does not want to be away from me and asks that I check her several times in the night.
  She will get out of bed after about 30 minutes to see where I am.  I feel that I am hitting a brick wall with trying to understand why she appears to be so scared (even she can't tell me why..."its just a feeling inside me mommy".
  We have another 6 year old daughter that does not do any of this....
  Please advise.....

[HVM Ph.D. - KDK]

_
Dear sj,
Take heart - your situation will, more than likely, improve.
There are some children, but very few, who literally have some impairment in the mechanisms (in the brain) that allow people to go to sleep and to remain asleep through the night. On the basis of the information you provided, there is no indication that this is the case with your daughter. The average eight year old child will sleep  a little over 10 hours each night. Sleep patterns are established quite early in a child's life, during the first year. What children 'learn' during those early months is important in relation to their ongoing sleep/wake patterns. While you did not go into details, it is quite likely that the interactions you established with your daughter around her sleep behavior as early as her first year have been influential in her persistent difficulty falling asleep and remaining asleep in her own bed. It is also probable that your current interactions with her are, unwittingly, maintaining the problem. Your daughter may be manifesting, through her sleep problems, a condition referred to as Separation Anxiety Disorder (unusual degree of anxiety, in some circumstances, being apart - e.g., through sleep - from those to whom the child is attached). If this is true, then you have the power and ability to help your daughter change. You may need some help with this, but such help is, generally speaking, readily available through Child Behavioral Health/Mental Health providers and/or Sleep Disorder specialists in your area. In 1985, a local MD, Richard Ferber (from Children's Hospital in Boston) wrote Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (published by Simon Shuster). It is an informative and useful book and provides a primer in pediatric sleep disorders and a manual for solving the kinds of sleep problems your daughter is experiencing. It would be wise to consult a clinician about your situation and you will very likely be able to devise a plan to help her (and probably you) sleep better.
This information is provided for general medical education purposes only. Please consult your physician for diagnostic and treatment options pertaining to your specific medical condition.
*Keyword: sleep disorder, separation anxiety