My five year old son - help!

I hope someone out there has some insight for me. My son just turned five years old. He started his first day of play school today -- and the teacher told me the same thing that I have heard in the past -- after the first day! "His behavior isn't typical of his age group."
My son attends sunday school, and has learned to respect the teacher in there, and listen with very seldom getting into trouble where my husband and I have to come and get him. Let me first tell you about him. He is a energetic, fun, loving and affectionate kid. He doens't hesitate to get hugs, kisses, or to tell people he loves them. He always greets and say goodbye to people with excitement. He loves to tell us what stories he learned in sunday school, what they did, etc. His eye contact is fine. He has a very structured home life, eating times, in bed on time, etc. This is where I fall into confusion. He speech is not what would be considered "normal." He does form sentences, yet his comprehension is lacking. It takes him a few times before he "gets it", and then he's fine from there. he is very bossy and demanding. If he wants something, he wants it right there and then with no compremising. He will yell over and over until it's done. Almost as if he doesn't get it some of the time. Not all the time. With going into playschool today, I explained that until he gets to know you and what button he can push, he will run you over. He learns best from a strict, yet loving patient teacher. On the playground or anywhere we go with kids, he wants to make friends with anyone he comes into contact with. Yet in the classroom, he wants to play with things, and yell at other kids to go away. You have to physically make him sit in time out-- or remove him from the situation. He will try to run away from teachers/ people he first met. He will not pay attention to boundaries. I would love some advice/ or maybe someone had or has a child like this. His one day of play school, and the teacher has mentioned evaluation  -- his sunday school teacher gave us the strong willed child book by james dobson. Both are certified teachers. And please --- don't throw me the "autism card" -- he doesn't fit for the most part what I've researched. Thats all teachers want to play these days. They are quick to label any behavior problem as autism. I know it's something different ... Thanks!

[Jokeg]

I forgot to mention. He is an only child. Thanks!

[RockRose]

I think you need to have him evaluated.

You spend a lot of time and description on his rowdy/unruly behavior,  but I sense that there is a lot to your one statement "His speech is not normal".  

A lot of kids don't follow the rules and won't behave and are difficult to manage,  but I sense that's not what she was talking about.  I would think a teacher would say "he doeesn't follow the rules",  "he's uncooperative",  etc., rather than his behavior isn't typical.

What do you mean when you say his speech isn't normal?  Can you be clearer?

[Jokeg]

Rockrose - he was a late talker. His words are clear, his sentences are more than five words -- as expected. Sometimes I think that he just doesn't understand (comprehend) what you say to him -- sometimes giving an answer that has nothing to do with the question. But I have noticed (my husband and others too) that he will do this with a smirk on his face. We have concluded that he gives you wrong answers only when it benefits him -- as in when he doesn't want to do what you tell him. We have concluded that it's just part of his defiance. The weird thing is, his doesn't react angry or out of control at home -- he's a pretty good little guy. That's where we are at our wits end. Embarrassed and confused because his teacher is obviously thinking there's something in his home life that is lacking. That is very untrue. Anyone who knows our family has made many comments through the years of "how structured and routined we are." When we have told his teacher -- remember today is day two of play school-- that he doesn't act out like that at home or anywhere else, we are looked at like "hhmmmmm." This is so frustrating! A friend mentioned something called sensory overload, which I am now reasearching.

[RockRose]

I hate feeling embarrassed with teachers.  : (    I really feel your pain.

On the other hand,  the more upfront you are with the teacher,  the more you will learn,  and the more you can help with your son.    If you go in there to meet her with an attitude of seeking information,  it's better.

Sensory overload does sound like a possiblity.  It sounds like he is significantly different at home from the way he is at Sunday School and preschool.  

I really do understand how you feel.  I would sit there across from a teacher,  feeling like there was a knife in my heart,  and I kept smiling and seeking information and giving information.  

Words to live by:  If the teacher likes you,  she will feel warmly toward your child.  If the teacher fears you,  or feels like you are a threat,  she will feel the same way about your child.    That's my words of wisdom.  

Can you have him evaluated by an OT?  My guess is,  he's not as off track as you fear he is.

Best wishes.

[proudmomof2g]

he sounds like a normal child ecsept with a speach issue. The teacher needs to go back to school and learn abotu the importance of not anilzing someone so fast. The first day come on. he my have  social anxiety. He may be fine aproching people but not ok with being in confined groups and being aproched. He dosn't sound anymore strong willed then anyother child his age that I know.If you are having behavior issues that you are having a hard time dealing with try the book 1-2-3  Magic.