My kids won't sleep in their own beds

[petrumom]

I have 3 yr old daughter & a 5 yr old son who will not sleep in their own beds. We let them fall a sleep in our bed then we move them to theirs. They usually wake then come back into ours in the middle of the night. I was "the parent" that could not let their child cry themselves to sleep. So I held, rocked, or cuddled with them until they went to sleep. Now they are big our bed is way too small for two adults and two kids. Am I doomed?

[specialmom]

Hi.  Isn't hindsight 20/20.  The good news about young kids (and yours still are) is that you can start over.  You can work with them to change a situation and fix any problems that you've created (which this falls a little under that category of . . .  :-) ).

So,  part of the problem is that you've never taught your kids to fall asleep on their own.  When they are babies, if you can put them down when they are all dozey and then they drift off about one time (or more if possible) a day-------- they start to learn they don't need mom to sleep.  So now they are older and you are going to have to recreate that.  Start by the best night time routine.  Lots of physical play during the day, a nice warm, calming bath, a snack, cozy jamas, a night time story and quick cuddle---------- bed.  Make their rooms/beds fun and cool so that they think it is neat.  Pick out special night lights (maybe even a string of festive Christmas lights in their rooms too).  Then say good night and leave them.  Then when they get back up and come to you------- walk them back.  Then keep doing that without talking to them.  Yes, it will take a lot of times.  But stick with it.  You are in for about a week of bad nights and probably another week of semi bad nights but after that-------- they should be in their own beds.  

I wish you lots of luck.  It's hard. Be patient and it will happen!

[Gina04]

I wouldn't say you are doomed but unless you want this to just keep continuing, you need to take steps to end it.  Those steps are easier when you are dealing with a newborn than a 3 or 5 year old but can still be done.  I would do it as soon as possible.

I authored an ebook on parenting and this is one of the issues I discussed in the book.  If you would like a free copy of it, just message me to let me know which email address to send it to.

[myenzoorka]

I doubt you're doomed.  This sounds so silly - I never recommend a book to anyone - but try checking out "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (she's also written a book called "No-Cry Sleep for Toddlers and Preschoolers" - but I can't really recommend it as I haven't read it).  It's a book specifically written to help babies, but she has some tips for older children (the other book is probably better, but like I said - I haven't read it).  

The author is a huge opponent of the "cry-it-out" method and even has a ton of tips for co-sleepers (and how to get them into their own beds).  It's a lot of work, so you have to be ready to commit.  But her advice is helping us with our one year old so far.  Honestly, I'd probably check out both books - just to be sure all your bases are covered!  Good luck!!!