My nephew is six and behaving very strangely, Is he unbearably shy or autistic?

I do not have children but my sister has two talkative social children, my brother has two very strangely behaved children. One is six the other four. The four yr old is still in nappies and hardly talking. The six yr old will not make eye contact or even acknowledge that you are speaking to him. I realise he could just be incredibly shy or it could be that his dad is not teaching him to interact very well. He also displays some aggressive behaviours like repeatedly banging toys on a wall hitting his cousin or throwing hard objects at the cat. The four yr old acts so much like a baby I cannot really comment on his behaviour yet.

I'm just wondering if there is a possibility he is autistic or have aspergers. I have tried to broach the subject with their dad who obviously gets very cross and explains they speak more etc at home and that it is just shyness. I also found out the six yr old is on an individual learning programme at school. I don't really know what is but thought I'd mention it in case it's relevant.

Any advice would be greatly accepted.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Both of the children may well display some developmental concens and these invite evaluation by a Developmental Pediatrician.

[IChris]

The six year old, based on your description, is unlikely to have an autism spectrum disorder. Aggressive behavior is not a symptom of autism spectrum disorders and lack of eye contact alone can not indicate an autism spectrum disorder. In any case, a doctor should examine it.

Lack of toilet training would first become an issue when the kid is 5 years old, so as the kid is only 4 she is classified as normal when it comes to toilet training. What regards the language delay, can it be a range of causes for, and should be examined by a doctor.

As you point to, the parenting of the kids should be invastigated as well, since an improper parenting may lead to all the abnormal behavior as well.