My son and his behavior after returning from visit with his dad

[91004]

My son who is four goes to his dad's every other weekend. He always comes back with a runny nose and sneezing which turns into coughing after a day or two. But just within the past couple of months has returned home doing things he normally don't. One weekend he came back and was sneaking to the bathroom and putting marbles in between his butt and tissue, the weekend before last it was the tissue between his butt again when I asked him why he said he was trying to clean hisself this weekend when he got back sunday morning he is always very tired and lastnite after dinner he was playing with his brother I was upstairs and he yelled when I went down he had pooped on hisself not a lot just a few balls(I know that is gross) He hasnt done that since he was potty trained and he just said he didnt know he had to I am concerned and dont know if I should be but I just feel something isnt right but we have never gotten along and it has been alot worse and I dont know what to do

[91004]

He's not in school yet. He starts kindergarden this year. He has a babysitter who only watches him and his brother. My husbands new wife has a child who is 8 or 9. My ex  goes to his moms half the weekend to stay. He only goes Fri at 6 and comes back Sun at 10am. He doesnt sleep when he is there they let him stay up until he falls asleep(sometimes 12 and 1 in the morning) They smoke in their house. So I know where the allergies come from and at my house his diet is good cherrios for breakfast or eggs and bacon, weekday one meat 2 vegetables for lunch and supper. One sweet a day.  He goes to the bathroom usually once a day sometimes 2.  I dont know if he was just tired and had an accident or if something is going on. He says he is only touched on the arm or leg or head so he seems to know what I am asking. He also told me he peed on himself at his dad because he couldnt make it to bathroom this weekend.  I just wonder if it is normal accidental behavior or something is wrong.

[margypops]

H could be constipated so perhaps address that first, get him eatin well, plenty of fibre, veg ,fruit Cereal in the morning, how is school going any problems there does he have friends . When he goes to his Dads house are there other children there or Family he meets up with, ask him what activities they do there, get some feedback .The coughing and cold could be he is having some allergies or he is open to other children and colds get passed on. It is a good thing to be aware and I would most definatly ask pertinent questions,gently, to find out what the issue is,