My son is almost 4 and is scared to do a BM, I'm worried for him starting school in 8 weeks

[jen1201]

Hello,
Our son will be 4 in September.  He has been potty trained since Dec... he will go pee on the toilet no problem (with the occasional accident). The problem is with BM's.  He will disappear, sit down, and try to hold it in.  He has gone to the toilet for BM's, so it's not a case of not being able.  When the urge comes to do one, he runs in the opposite direction of the toilet to go hold it in, as if he is scared to do it.
We have bought him superhero underwear and told him they need his help to keep the poo off, it sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.  We do not use pull-ups or diapers.  It is getting very trying for us, and I am terrified that this will cause him to not begin school in Sept.
We did take him to a Dr. and all she said was that it was normal and to give him prunes.. he isn't constipated, he just wont do it, unless there is something on the line for him (not allowed to go in the pool, no Wii, etc... ) but this is always after he already has an accident. FYI the accidents he has, are not huge BM's, they are for lack of a better term, skid marks in his underwear.

This is causing a ton of stress between my husband and I and how to deal with this.

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,
Jen

[specialmom]

Hi, I had this exact problem and it was exactly what Margypops said.  We increased our son's fruit intake and fruit juice, it helped tremendously.  You may find that your son will not go during the day (my son will not---------- seems to only go at home which is fine by me!) as he has to be perfectly comfortable.  

I'd try not to punish him.  He probably doesn't want to be doing this and shaming him may hurt his self esteem.  Instead, do rewards with a chart.  As he goes on the potty, he gets checks and gets a prize when he reaches a certain number.  Then the potty is viewed as something positive vs. something you could get in trouble for.  good luck  and------- he will get potty trained!  They ALL do eventually.  

[margypops]

It does sound as if he is constipated,he is also holding it in as if it hurts when he goes hes avoiding the hurt, its a vicious cycle. maybe some anxiety been created by an emphasis put on it, could he be hearing mom and dad discussing him.perhaps heatedly. I agree with the Doctor about diet, cereal is good as its bulk ,they do a childs probiotic I believe . My next suggestion is to take a step back, relaxt, say no more ,lessen the issue ., let him get on with it .once he feels no pressure from you he may be able to go' ask Dad to do the same ..in fact ask Dad to get some exercise going for him that will help his body ball games and fun....good luck