My son is out of control, i am worried!

[sweety42]

My son is 11, almost 12, and he always has a bad temper, always frustrated with everything. He is controlling towards me, and he won't take no for an answer. I am a single mother, and i feel overwhelmed all the time with his behaviour. At school he is quiet, the contrary of what he is at home. Don't know what to do with him.He wants things always done his way. He just wants to play, and won't concentrate on important things.He also gets violent.What should i do?

[asilb73]

i am having same problems and am also a single mum, he punches me and swears at me, getting to the point where i cant take it anymore

[rose4]

You say he's quiet in school,my son is about the same age and he too can be quite quiet usually if he comes home in a similar way your son is it means some other boys have been bothering him though he feels ashamed to say it.I usually have to tread carefully and ask him if anythings bothering him.Signs are he suddenly gets emotional about something silly,aggressive and controlling.I'm not saying thats it but it sounded so similar to my son.Also he sounds like he could do with help understanding his feelings why he's angry and help with dealing with.I do think though that he needs to understand that he can't carry on that way and something needs to be done.Good Luck.

[live4fitness]

He may have food allergies. I changed my sons diet slowly and the aggretion stopped. Now he was 3 at the time, but if you don't buy it then he can't eat it unless he is not at home then you just hope for the best. Good luck

[abhartis]

I absolutely must agree with the previous response.  You must seek help.  Even though your son is older, YOU are still the parent.  YOU still decide what is in his best interest and what is needed for your child.  Is there someone else in  your childs life that can help - i.e. Coach (could be very helpful with discipline), teacher at school, family friend, pediatrician?  How about the school counselor?  My son is younger (7), but we have had to rely on the school counsleor to help with behavior issues since my son started school.  She is someone for me to get advice and direction from as well as she is someone who talks with my son. I am concerned for you that without doing anything, as your son gets older, you will lose any control you have left.  I'm sorry your having such a struggle, and I know getting help will not be easy, but it's not easy for you now.  

[sweety42]

Hello blondie72,
Thanks for your comment. He is so stuburn that he doesn't want any councelling, but i will keep trying. Because i am a single parent ( not divorced yet, i have separated for almost 9 years, and his dad is not in the picture, cause he is an drug addict and he just never comes to see him and take him out)i feel overwhelmed and hopeless so many times, and tired all the time so there are days that i just don't want to be bothered. I have my spiritual brothers and sisters from my religion that give me emotional support, but that is not emough sometimes. I also suffer from depression, but i am trying to make rules and make my son realize that he has to change. I have faith in God that he will progress, but it is very hard some days.

[blondie72]

I think you need to get some professional help for him right away.   You say you are a single mom - Are you divorced???  When did you notice this behavior???  I wish you the best - That has to be scary for you.  Get him some help before it is too late.  GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!