My son likes feet.

How should I handle it?

[answers1122]

Support him and teach him to pursue his fascination with feet in healthy ways (also it's not a fetish at 3 yrs old).
He can't help that he likes feet and, no matter what you do, it is not going away. In a way, it is similar to being gay. Never make him feel ashamed of liking feet, but do let him know he is in the minority, which may leave him open to ridicule from others. If you try to make him feel ashamed and hide his affinity for feet, YOU WILL REALLY HURT HIM. He needs to accept who he is and find positive outlets for his feet fascination. If he does not, inappropriate behaviors may follow. Like the men who never admitted to being gay and then you hear about them on the news for tapping their feet under stalls in men's public restrooms to secretly have gay sex. It would have been much healthier for them to admit being gay early on and have a healthy dating life with other gay men. If your son never finds an outlet for his curiosity for feet he might start trying to do inappropriate things in secret, such as sucking on the toes of sleeping women.

I recommend doing 4 things;
1. Talk to him about liking feet and tell him it is ok. He needs to know he's not a freak, not in the majority, but also not a freak. And let him know you are fine with it and love him no matter what. Also, most people do not think liking feet is a big deal. They may think its a little unusual, but definitely not a big deal. I've told a dozen or so people in my life (mostly family, close friends and my wife) that I like feet and it hasn't bothered any of them.

2. Realize it is NOT sexual. It is not physically and mentally possible for anyone to be sexual before puberty. I repeat it is not sexual at the age of 3! This can seem counter-intuitive to adults because we connect sex to almost everything. The fact that a 3-year-old likes touching, kissing, sucking and licking feet seems like it would be sexual to us, but it is not...trust me.

3. Teach him the normal rules of social interaction. Just as you teach him that he can't play with someones' toys unless they give him permission. Or like you will teach him later that he can only kiss a girl if she is ok with it. Teach him that it is acceptable to pursue his curiosity for feet, as long as the other person gives him permission.

4. Encourage him to pursue positive/healthy outlets for his curiosity. He has an inherent desire to play with feet and it will never go away. The more he suppresses it, the worse it will get. It will build up inside him and he may start displaying inappropriate behavior. As a young child, I believe it is perfectly acceptable for him to pursue his curiosity with the feet of family members (typically aunts are the most popular), as long as he gets permission from them first. As I said, it is not sexual so he is doing nothing wrong . I used to play with my mom's, aunt's and cousin's feet as a young child and I promise you it was innocent and harmless. I have NO sexual interest in my family...never have and never will. You may want to give family members a heads up though and say something like, "As you probably know, my son likes feet. I've learned it is nothing to be ashamed of and it is completely harmless, especially at his age. Because he likes feet, he may want to play with your feet. I've taught him to ask permission first and he can only play with your feet if you say it is ok."

Once he reaches puberty, he will naturally shift his interest to the girls in his class. As he gets older, continue to encourage him to be open about his foot fascination with his girlfriends and to pursue positive and healthy outlets. This is going to be hard sometimes, but it will be best for him. He will be scared of girls making fun of him, but from my experience they almost never do. Liking feet is part of who his is and it is especially important that he be able to talk about it with his wife later on in life.

Also, remember that liking feet does not automatically mean he is sexual attracted to someone. They can be very separate. When he is sexually attracted to someone, it is likely he will also like her feet. However, he can like someones' feet and have no sexual interest in them. So don't freak out is he massages your feet in high school. It doesn't mean he wants to have sex with his mom.

Overall, don't make him feel ashamed of it and teach him to pursue healthy and appropriate outlets for his fascination.

To read the opinion of an expert:
http://www.todaysparent.com/preschool/article.jsp?content=3288&page=1

[mrivera4]

Your reply is certainly very scholarly and thought out, but totally wrong. It is sexual and starts very young ( I remember being turned on by my female pre-school teacher's feet when I was 5!). Most studies estimate that about 10% of males have a foot fetish. Feet do for us what breasts do for "normal" guys. Of course the tragedy is that most women don't like that attention to their feet so most foot fetishists go through life frustrated.