Name change

[yashti08]

I have a 5 year old step son who has a father, (bilogical) who makes a big issue about name. He wants his son to write his name to include his last name when he writes his name in school. For example, he wants his son to write his first name and his dads last name as well as my wifes last name. My step son is only 5 years old and it is affecting him. When ever he returns from visiting his father, he is real clingy to his mom and he always says, "don't tell my dad. I don't want to get in trouble." My step son started kindergarten this year and he is learning to write. Well, his father is making a big issue about having his son write his full legal name on his papers. The father is accusing my wife of trying to tell his son to just write my wifes last name only. Well now it is affecting my step son because when he is at school he tells his teacher, "My name is Mackeral" no last name, just mackeral. He does not want to write out his full name. My wife and I agree that a 5 year old should not, and cannot write this full name because he is still developing. He can barely write his first name. We feel that my step son is rebeling, and is affected emotionally by this. he is stressing and its affecting him. He does not want to go see his dad now. Just recently my step sons school call and said that they would like to meet with my wife and the father to discuss some issues, (name) and we feel the dad scheduled this meeting to complain and point fingers.
Can you advise as to how this is affecting my step son and why he does this? Is it normal for a 5 year old to want to be called by a different name? We would like some answers, or pointed in the right direction.

Thank you,

Jonathan

[RockRose]

Jonathan,   most kindergartners I know write only their first names on their papers,  unless there is more than one child with that name in the class,  then they'll write their last initial too.

If the class writes only their first name,  he should too.  In fact,  I'd say quit at "Mac".  Maybe your use of "Mackeral" was a joke.

If he has to write last names,  he needs to write his dad's.  And your wife needs to support that,  despite giving him a handle that takes a long time to write.

His dad wants a part of his life,  obviously.  He should be respected for that - and given that.  But if he's pressuring the child in other ways that should maybe be a separate issue.